The Dwarven One

Sixteen days of house-sitting

2012-01-24T21:41:00.003+11:00

Well, with the rain now pouring down outside, I decided to rattle off another blog entry, whilst listening to the groovy sounds of Luscious Jackson. (Very sleek and sexy all-woman US combo with some gorgeous harmonies and sweet, soulful tunes.)

January, I must say, has been a very eventful month, and there is yet more to come. On Thursday (Jan 26th), I'll be venturing down to Blaxland in order to get a lift across to Can Con in Canberra. (Well, I'll be dropped off at Goulburn along the way seeing that's where I am staying for the duration of the tournament.) The original plan, however, was to go down on Wednesday, with Babs, the co-author of Feudball. However, the gent whose place I'm staying at, will not be home until Thursday afternoon. (Actually, no one will be at home, seeing his family are away on holidays and he's working in Canberra.) My “ride” was adamant that he had to travel on Wednesday, so I didn't even bother to ask if he could change his plans. (I know him too well.)

Grumble, grumble.

A little panicking, then a few SMS/PMs/Phone Calls later, and the problem had been solved, with a back-up plan (rail) just in case. I'll be traveling down to the biggest gaming convention in the country with some gaming acquaintances from the Blue Mountains, in, from what I've heard, a small convoy of vehicles.

Of course, with me being of a nervous disposition, you can imagine that alarm bells were ringing in my head quite loudly, causing me to stress out quite a bit. However, now, I'm quite relaxed, and not only have my gaming bag packed for the trip down, but have maps of how to find this gent's place in Goulburn, as well as what trains to catch. I'll pack the clothes tomorrow, not that I'll be needing much.

Next year, if all goes well, I think I'll train it down. This way, I'm not reliant on anybody providing transport except City Rail. (The concession one way to Goulburn is only $4.10. Quite cheap actually for a trip of nearly 300 kms.)

What else? Let's see? Doctor appointment on Monday, to pick up my new mental health plan, find out what my blood results were like (a bit too much Xmas cheer apparently... ), get a health certificate for my next Job Capacity Assessment with C/Link, and see if there is anything I can take for my sleeping problems that won't affect my medication. (Or vice versa.) I now start my next lot of sessions with the psychologist on Feb 8th. Registrations for soccer are now due for the 2012 season, and in the week after Can Con, I'll be having the JCA and do a little job hunting with my case manager from CRS. I believe I'm at a point now where I can handle a few hours a week. Whether I get some paid work or not is a different matter.

Having mow been home a total of three full days after the house-sitting sojourn, I decided to copy and re-order the posts I made on the book of faces site, and present them here. JT is my sister, SW is my aunt whose place I was minding, LW is a cousin (my aunt's youngest daughter, who also lives there), and the rest are people that I know (or I'm related to).

Yay! Off on my holiday today! 3 January at 08:44
JT mmm didn’t know... where u going? 3 January at 10:15
Me Ummm, Aunty S's... 3 January at 11:55
SW Hope its a holiday for you!! 3 January at 12:25
Me It is now that I have i/net access! :) 3 January at 20:49

Oh dear, expected top of 39 degrees today in the Shire... 4 January at 09:30
MK Oh bugger :( 4 January at 18:12
Me Actually, it wasn't too bad. My aunt's place has air-con! :)
However, around 3pm I decided to have a nap, and missed Clarke & Hussey going to town on the Indian bowling! 4 January at 20:37

House-sitting Day 1:
3 loads of laundry done and dried
2 little yellow puddles to clean up in the kitchen
1 very hot and sweaty me
LW ‎3 puddles so far.... 4 January at 18:27
Me Ah well, I suppose it can't be helped, she is an old doggie. :) 4 January at 20:43
LW We've thought about some kind of dog diaper. 4 January at 21:12
Me Funny you should mention that... http://www.tinkletrousers.com/

House-sitting day 3:
Walked into town around lunch-time, a good twenty minute walk each way, up and down hills, and with groceries on the way
back. Had a blood test, shopped, had lunch, picked up my pills (not in that exact order) then went back to the Aunt's place.
Big surprise in that there were no surprises waiting for me on the kitchen floor.... :) 6 January at 16:52
Me Too good to be true though. Wandering out to the lounge room to watch a DVD a couple of hours ago... 6 January at 23:26

House-sitting Day 4:
Dogs are acting a bit weirder than usual. The Shadow Inquisitor (Timmee), seems to dislike a certain pillow in the lounge room, whilst the Bewildered Hoover (ET), has taken to occasionally licking the couches... 7 January at 17:16
PC they sound as weird as my dog..... 7 January at 18:38
Me Quite possibly. I think ET is an older version of Kia... :) 8 January at 00:13

House-sitting Day 5:
Had a lovely lunch today with Cousin C & W, and talked family history (both current and past) for an hour or so.
Perhaps there is a book or two there... 8 January at 16:01

House-sitting Day 6:
Things that the Bewildered Hoover has walked in to over the last couple of days...
* the door
* two chairs
* my foot (whilst I was lying on the floor)
* a bucket
* the door frame
* a couch
She also does an impersonation of Katie Featherston from Paranormal Activity where she stands for a few minutes looking at nothing in particular. :) 9 January at 15:57
SW The dog updates are making me laugh so much- especially the nick names- so apt!! 9 January at 19:22
Me She walked into the fan in the study last night as well! :) Yeah, I'd thought you'd appreciate my new labels for them! 10 January at 09:14
LW Haha 10 January at 20:50
Me She's getting really good at the Katie Featherston impersonation. :) 10 January at 22:37

House-sitting Day 6:
Problem number one - how the hell am I going to shift that huge branch from the tree in the corner of the yard that was blown down during the storm last night?
And if I do move it, where am I going to put it?
On a lighter note the Bewildered Hoover appears to have doggy dementia. She's rolling around the floor on her back thinking she's a puppy again. :) 9 January at 10:05
DM Love to help you but I been busy mowing :-) 9 January at 15:05
Me I've separated it from the tree, and will chop it up into sections and put it in the green waste bin when the weather is a bit cooler. 9 January at 15:52

House-sitting Day 7:
Strange. Returned home after touring the area's shopping centers with Rod, but not to a frenzied barking from Shadow Inquisitor, but to silence! The pair of them had flaked out on my bed and didn't even move until we had both entered the room.
The Bewildered Hoover has now taken to kipping on the small table in the lounge room. You'd think it would be rather uncomfortable for her, but apparently not. The pair of them still hover around me every time I'm near the sink, the fridge, or the stove. I was buttering bread and BH insisted on finding out what I was doing. I put some margarine on my index finger and showed her. She licked it, then grabbed it with her teeth and tried to pull me along! :) 10 January at 22:36
SW Hi - having trouble sending you messages on fb so thought I'd try your wall. Don’t worry about the branch - the owner can get rid of that. Hope that the dogs arnt stressing you out too much. We are going up north tomorrow to Nisa's (my aunt's daughter-in-law) home town - not sure how internet access will be up north. Looking forward to seeing all the sights!!
JT enjoy aunty s.. he'll work it out!!! hahaha 9 January at 21:28
Me Me & R will probably get stuck into the yard work early next week. He reckons it won't take long to do the yard.
The branch we will try and get rid of as well. Between the two of us we should be able to carve it up! :) 10 January at 22:29
SW Thank you - you are going above and beyond- so appreciated!!! 10 January at 23:37
JT on fire!!! lol just joking aunty s 11 January at 13:35
Me In the zone now, especially with cleaning up ET's messes... 11 January at 17:37

House-sitting Day 8:
The Bewildered Hoover's worst day yet. So far (today) she has managed to pee in three rooms in the house (the music room, S's room, and the kitchen), plus throw up a whole pile of undigested dog biscuits all over the kitchen floor. (I wasn't quick enough to get her outside... ) I won't add what she did after she threw up... She has also walked into two doors and a wall, and gave my left foot a good licking.
The Shadow Inquisitor has been, strangely, better behaved than normal. Perhaps he's planning something.... 11 January at 17:43
RA Sounds like there is a need for DAP spray. Available from vets for doggy anxiety.... 12 January at 07:04
Me Ah, thanks R! :) Strangely enough, they have been very well behaved today! 12 January at 13:35

House-sitting Day 9:
Dogs are very well-behaved today. Woke up this morning around 7am to find no doggy messes in the house anywhere. Went for a walk into town around midday to grab a couple of things, and returned home to find the place was as I left it. Very surprised, and pleased at the same time! :)
Both doggies were summarily rewarded and have been allowed back into the my room (the music room).
12 January at 13:53

House-sitting Day 9 (extra):
Ahhh! Appreciating my aunt's CD collection and stereo! Enjoying listening to Moby.
It's true what they say - music seems to soothe the savage beast. Both dogs are chillin' out. Took a pic of them yesterday but my mate hasn't sent it to me yet from his mobile... 12 January at 14:50

Hoo-ray!!!
Marking this in my diary (lol). Jan 12th, first day of house-sitting that I DIDN'T have to clean up any little surprises! :)
13 January at 00:11
(I should add – when I went to the kitchen ten minutes later to get a drink, someone had left a present a few minutes beforehand, which is what the two following comments refer to.)
DM Surprise !!!! 13 January at 10:02
MK D'OH! 13 January at 10:43

House-sitting Day 10:
I'm wondering now if there'll be enough paper towels until the aunt gets back. The pair have been incredibly busy this morning with not one, but three puddles in the kitchen despite the fact the back door has been open since 5am. (Sigh. I suppose I can always go out and buy some more... )
On a dryer note, the Bewildered Hoover does a good impersonation of Mother Teresa as well, after I dropped a tea-towel on her whilst I was doing the dishes. 13 January at 10:56

House-sitting Day 10 (extra):
Australia well on top on day one in the third test, dogs asleep, cool breeze drifting in through the window, washing folded and put away... doesn't get much better than this! 13 January at 20:33
MM You can come and fold my washing! (someone's gotta do it) 13 January at 20:39
DM I got washing to hang out , been mowing back lawn this arvo , bourbon time 13 January at 20:43

House-sitting Day 10 (additional extra):
My aunt wasn't kidding about there being the likelihood of frogs coming into the house. Sure enough, what do I find in the kitchen as I'm going to get a drink... 13 January at 21:01
DM Gribbit :-) we had baby ducklings at the back door couple months back . 13 January at 21:25
Me Awww. I like ducks! :) 14 January at 09:58
MK Ribbet! 14 January at 11:41

House-sitting Day 11:
Bewildered Hoover wakes up, hops out of the washing basket in my aunt's bedroom (it's her regular sleeping spot - don't ask), yaps excitedly for five minutes, runs around, bounces off the linen cupboard door, goes outside, comes back inside, and is now curled up on the mattress and is asleep with the Shadow Inquisitor.
Rather gloomy outside. Headin' off to see the Mariners take on Newcastle this afternoon. Love the local derbies!
(For the record, the result was a hard fought 1 all draw.)

House-sitting Day 12:
Returned home last night after the drive up to the coast for the local derby to a decorative pattern of 1's, 2's and a 3 (don't ask), plus a quick visit from the frog, who had taken an interest in my aunt's TV set. The rain really pelted down last night, so it was good to settle down and watch the late movie on SBS, though the Bewildered Hoover made it hard by deciding to park herself right in front of my face.
Whilst BH does impersonations of people, the Shadow Inquisitor does ones of various animals. This morning, it was a Springbok.
They're both tired out. The five minutes in the backyard this morning must've been really exhausting for them... LOL 15 January at 09:51
MK Dogs are just like people... plum crazy! Lol 15 January at 09:57
Me Yup - too true! 15 January at 09:57
SW Thank you - you are doing a great job 15 January at 10:42
JT greens frogs are worth a fortune 15 January at 10:52
Me Hmm, perhaps I should catch this little sucker then? 15 January at 17:51
JT illegal 15 January at 20:30
JT but what the hell 15 January at 20:30
Me He hasn't returned. Perhaps the dogs scared him off. (Or more likely ate him... ) 16 January at 22:41

House-sitting Day 12 (additional):
Dogs and myself took it very easy today. I played a bit of BB and created some compilation CDs whilst listening to the Aussies thrash India in the third test. Then decided to start work trimming that huge branch down to size. Now it's just big ruddy log, with the green wheelie bin pretty full.
The dogs decided to come out and join me. I think it's the longest they've been outside since I've been here. Would've stayed out longer but the rain has come back and I only just got the washing in in time. 15 January at 17:56
MK Ur lucky with ur washing... mine is still dripping on the late after yesterday! Lol 15 January at 18:02
Me Ah bugger. We were spared at the Mariners match yesterday, seeing we got there early and undercover. However, as soon as the match finished, and we were walking back to my place...
It continued for most of the trip back to Baulkham Hills and then continued until midnight. 15 January at 18:06

House-sitting Day 13:
Rain, rain, go away so that we can get the lawns done tomorrow...
Still, one good thing is that the bad weather is keeping me indoors and busy with scanning family history stuff. The dogs are asleep, and I don't blame them!
Ironic - Moby's "It's raining again" has just started playing on the stereo... 16 January at 12:36

House-sitting Day 13 (extra):
The dogs have a routine established. Every time I go to the kitchen, they follow, to see if I'm getting/preparing food. To counter this, I show them what I have in my hand. Whilst doing the dishes after lunch, the pair were patiently standing nearby waiting for the scraps that were never going to come. I show them what I have in my hand this time, it was a frying pan. The Shadow Inquisitor sniffs it, then wanders off rather disappointed. The Bewildered Hoover on the other hand starts to lick it, thinking there's something on it. (There was - detergent.)
I have had to get tough though. Fed up with being pestered for food every time I have a main meal, I lead the dogs outside, then shut the door on them. Within 30 seconds the scratching begins. Within a minute the whining begins. When I'm finished (generally in five minutes), I open the door, usually to find BH with her front paws on the step, and SI lying down with his head on it.
SI, I've noticed, can do a reasonable impersonation of the Sphinx, if he stays still long enough. BH, for some reason, is still licking the couch...16 January at 22:40
(Missing comment from my Aunt about here)
Me Yeah. I think the hardest part was learning their routines. Once I figured that out, it's not that bad. 90% of the time they're okay (they're fast asleep, and BH snores) it's just that little 10% in the day when they proceed to really test my patience... 16 January at 22:57

House-sitting Day 14:
Yard work scheduled for this afternoon. Gorgeous day outside, look forward to getting out for a little bit.
Enjoying some tunes - a compilation CD I just made up with a variety of stuff, and more BB on the PC.
Apart from that - nothing doing! :) 17 January at 11:27

House-sitting Day 14 (extra additional):
Mark the day in the diary - Jan 17, SECOND no mess day! :) 18 January at 00:38
Me And the hairy ones are fast asleep on my mattress. Seems a shame to have to evict them soon...
18 January at 00:40

House-sitting Day 15:
The battle of wills continues. The dogs still think that anything I pull out of the cupboard/fridge can be eaten by them, so I give
them what I am eating (2 minute noodles). Both reject it. They both take the packet, but are sorely disappointed when there's nothing in it. The Bewildered Hoover even takes the sachet containing the flavouring. She doesn't like it.
If they were people, the Bewildered Hoover would be a doddering old granny, complete with zimmer frame, who constantly forgets her glasses. She would be wearing adult diapers and have dementia.
The Shadow Inquisitor is more like a junkie. He'll be full of beans for five minutes, bouncing around the place like a springbok, then has to sleep for three hours to restore his energy for the next run.
Both of them, a few minutes ago, were doing the Katie Featherston Paranormal Activity thing. It was rather amusing, yet at the same time, a little disturbing... 18 January at 12:36
MK Time to wean them off those 'special' mushrooms they might be eating from the backyard, perhaps? Lol 18 January at 12:58
SW Hi - thank you for the yard work - you deserve a cold beverage - and a pressie! Mmmm- wonder what it could be???? 18 January at 02:20 (No guesses, it was a hat, a rather funky hat!)

House-sitting Day 15 (additional):
Ten things that the dogs initially believed that they could eat, then realized that they couldn't...
1) Egg shells
2) Potato peels
3) Apple peels
4) An empty packet of 2 minute noodles
5) The flavour sachet from a packet of 2 minute noodles
6) Carrot
7) Frozen chips
8) A bottle of Pepsi
9) A packet of mixed frozen vegetables
10) A knife
Last day of house-sitting tomorrow. My how the time has flown!
MK Almost at the last turn... you can do it! you CAN do it! :P 19 January at 09:49
Me I can also add another one - one of my fingers! :) 19 January at 11:24

House-sitting Day 16:
The last day, and the flood-gates have opened! Big and little puddles everywhere... 19 January at 11:13
SW Oh Dear!! 19 January at 12:00
DM Puddle Dock 19 January at 12:11
Me Strangely enough, after the morning messes, the rest of them have been done outside. :) 19 January at 21:06

House-sitting Day 16 (additional):
Shadow Inquisitor asleep, Bewildered Hoover sort of half asleep with the glazed look in her eyes. They're so nice when they're like this.
Enjoying a quiet evening with some Moby on the stereo, after having *finally* updated my Blood Bowl blog. Might go watch some more 30 Rock a bit later. 19 January at 21:49

Well, with the rain abating just a wee bit, and the Luscious Jackson CD having just finished, it's time to wind this up, and post it.

Ciao!

One week of house-sitting

2012-01-11T17:49:00.001+11:00

Well, it's another warm day down in The Shire. It's just me and two dogs that would keep a dog psychologist in business for years. Today marks one week since my aunt headed off to Thailand for her son's wedding. From what I've seen of the pics on FB, I'd say everybody had a good time. The rest of the time there will be spent seeing the sites, including the Bridge on the River Kwai and the Tiger Temple.

Me, well, I'm wondering if I can actually get through the next week and-a-half without completely going off my rocker. The dogs, I must say, are very trying. At times they can be extremely annoying, to the point where I'm yelling at them. However, I soon remember that both of them are (supposedly) deaf, and there is no point raising my voice. That, and I can't stay mad at them for too long. After all, they're just dogs.

When they're asleep, and that can be quite often, they're good. The problem is that every time I move around the house, they're behind me, or under my feet. They have to be in the same room as me, and have to know what I'm doing at every moment. Anything I pull out of the fridge (according to doggy reasoning) is food that they can eat. Anything I pull out of the cupboard, is food that they can eat. Anything that I have in my hand (occasionally including my hand), is food that they can eat. The food that they're allowed to eat, are the dog biscuits, although when I'm cutting some chunks off the big leg of ham in the fridge for sandwiches, I throw them some tidbits. The small white one (which I now refer to as the “Bewildered Hoover”, on account she wanders around aimlessly, often sniffing the floor looking for food), walked around for fifteen or so minutes with three small chunks of ham in her fur before she realized that they were there.

She's also (mostly) blind and I feel she's quite senile as well. She knows that I'm around, but at times doesn't know where I am. She walks into things – doors, chairs, tables, even the base of the fan the other day. The funniest, yet saddest thing to watch was her walking behind the door in my room (my aunt's music room), which was ajar, then having to reverse when she walked into the wall. I'm keeping an eye on her at the moment. About half-an-hour ago she threw up a pile of undigested dog biscuits all over the kitchen floor. (I couldn't get her outside in time.) Then in true doggy fashion, she started eating the regurgitated biscuits. She's eating the biscuits again, so I'm keeping one eye on her, and one eye on this. I would rather hose down the verandah than mop up the floor...

The other one, the larger of the two, is black, and I refer to him as the “Shadow Inquisitor”, seeing he generally is right behind me everywhere I go, and must know what I am doing at every moment. I have managed to get him under control, seeing I can chase him away with either a) the clothes basket, b) the TV remote control or c) a pen or pencil. However, for the last three mornings he has been leaving lumpy deposits on the kitchen floor. He just wants to be the center of attention. You must acknowledge him at all times. If I go out, he will perch himself on the top of the couch near the window, so that he can keep watch on the driveway. Anyone that comes up it gets a furious barking, regardless is it's friend or foe.

I'm glad that I managed to escape yesterday. Rod, from the soccer team, turned up yesterday and we went for a drive around the local shopping centers. I picked up some cheap cartridges for my aunt's printer, plus a cheap mouse so that I can use on the laptop that I'm using now, and will take home with me so that I can replace the old one that I have there currently. We 're planning a drive up to Gosford for Saturday's Mariners vs Newcastle match. The local derby should draw a good crowd, and with the Mariners in fantastic form (club record of 12 matches in-a-row without a loss) there is no reason why there shouldn't be a good crowd on hand. The last two home matches drew close to 28,000 spectators, which is pleasing to see. The team also managed to win back-to-back games inside five days, with a 2-0 win over Melbourne Victory at home (last Wednesday the 4th), and last Sunday (8th) a hard fought 1-0 win over Sydney FC at the Sydney Football Stadium. Though we have lost our leading goal-scorer Matt Simon (took up a $400k a year contract to play in Korea) we are still doing well enough. (From what I've heard, the 1-0 scoreline did not reflect how dominant the team was during the match. We just have to get tougher and learn how to really put sides away.)

Anyway, a trip up will be good. It will give me a chance to take home all the stuff that I have finished with, deposit some clean clothing that I won't be needing, and bring down some more washing that I can get done during the week. (Whilst I have the chance, I'll use the machine!) I'll bring the old laptop down too, seeing there are some DVDs I wouldn't mind getting a copy of. (Zombieland, Season 4 IT Crowd, even some Frasier wouldn't go astray... )

So, despite the dramas with the dogs, this hasn't been too bad. I've been content to just veg out, watching DVDs, play Blood Bowl on the laptop, write, print up stuff, scan material, even spend some time with the rels. (I have a cousin not far from my aunt's place. She is the daughter of my aunt Rete, who still lives in Inverell.) I have learnt a fair bit about the family, from her extensive family history research. She has sent on a lot of material, and has even borrowed some stuff off me. I got a copy of a newspaper clipping of my folks' wedding, which I promptly scanned and posted on FB, plus discovered that we might have a peer in the family. One has to go back to the 1600's to find him though...

Currently, I have moved the laptop from the music room to the kitchen, and have the afternoon sun at my back, and whatever windows that I can open to get the strong breeze that's whistling about currently. The house at the moment is decidedly cool, and I have recently discovered that there is a USB slot on the telly, so I'm now listening to my MP3 player. Bliss! The toughest decision I will have to make today will be what to have for dinner.

Well, there's not much on my “to do” list that needs to be done. Currently, I need to just type up a Blood Bowl blog (long overdue that one is), the hand-written notes I made for the second Feudball book whilst I was away for Xmas (and finish the respective chapter), scan a couple of books, and finish reading one.

Then what will I do for the second week? Hmmm...

Ciao!

Yaaaawn! It's too early!

2012-01-05T06:22:00.004+11:00

Yeah, in that weird state of being tired and wanting to sleep, but can't get to sleep. So, what do I do? Blog therapy!

At least I got some sleep this time round. Must've been close to six hours. Still not enough though. At least it wasn't the traffic this time round. Must say, it's a change not having 21 hour a day traffic buzzing outside one's window, or drunks, permanently bewildered people and substance abusers wandering around at random intervals either.

What I do have though, are two dogs that would keep a dog psychologist quite busy. One has just turned 16, the other, well, I don't know. They're poodles of some sort, possibly crossed with something else. They're both deaf, and the old white one is incontinent and quite possibly blind as well. The black one has an attention seeking problem. Last night, after I was in bed, it was scratching at the door trying to get into the room. If I go anywhere, it follows. If I eat/drink anything, it wants some, and sits right under my feet waiting for something. (Not working this time bud!) It regularly wants to go outside, then come back inside shortly after, so I just leave the back doors open. Easier that way. (Except, of course, when I'm sitting in the lounge to watch telly or a DVD, and want the air-con on.)

The joys of house-sitting. Apart from that, it's not too bad. On Tuesday (3rd Jan) when I got down here, my aunt showed me around the around the area (which I'm quite familiar with already, having passed through here a number of times for football matches last season), then went shopping. I look forward to having a walk around when it cools down a bit. The shops are only 20-25 minutes up the road. Suits me fine. Straight up the road, veer left, then turn left and I'm there.

I've got a nice long list of things to do (both personally, and from my aunt), which should keep me well and truly occupied for the 2.5 weeks that I'll be here. Then there'll be a few days at home, then Can Con. (At least I can afford to go this year!) My aunt's list has emergency contact numbers, tour itenery (she's doing a little sight-seeing whilst she's in Thailand for her son's wedding), instructions for the pets, watering the plants, etc. Nothing that I can't handle. I might even see if I can arrange to get the lawns mowed before she gets back.

I even have access to a lap-top (it's in better condition than my old one in Gosford at least), and have installed one or two things (like Open-Office) so that I can do a few things whilst I'm here. It can't handle Blood Bowl LG or Rome Total War (video controller problems again - sigh) and there is so much junk on this machine that I don't really have the room to install them anyway. (At least it can handle Java Carcassonne and Colossus, the computer version of the old Avalon Hill "Titan" board game which I've taught myself how to play.) The 'net connection is good, so at least I can surf the web, download stuff, etc. and there's a printer/scanner as well, which I've already used. Just have to remember to remove my stuff off the hard-drive before I leave here. (I can't very much delete other people's files, but I did remove some un-essential software that they had accumulated to get a bit of extra space, and cleaned up the hard-drive of electronic junk. Had to be careful though, the laptop belongs to the aunt's boyfriend's mother, a local church elder... )

Anyway, I'll get there. Rod is planning to come over at some point, and I have already been invited over for dinner at a cousin's place nearby, so there's a couple of things to look forward to. Just got to survive the dogs...

At least there's cricket to watch on the telly (oh man, we are hammering them in the second test - co Clarkey!), and there'll be opportunities to zip back to the coast for a Mariner's match. Yesterday, despite the 38/39 degree heat, I managed to get all my laundry done that I lugged down with me. I have even started to scan material belonging to my parents, especially my father's family history stuff. (And there's a lot of it.) I'm taking time out to read, and keeping my private journal up-to-date. I am treating this as a holiday - the first one that I have had in seven years...

Right, I feel that I am sufficiently tired enough that I'll doze back off. Both dogs are asleep as well (unless, of course, I move out of the room... )

Cheers!

Last post one for 2011

2011-12-30T09:54:00.005+11:00

Oh boy. Been meaning to do this for a while but just haven't gotten around to it. I have been (horribly) sidetracked with a new-ish PC that has the grunt to actually play Blood Bowl Legendary Edition and Rome Total War. I'm in heaven!!!! As you can imagine, I have been playing it a lot lately, experimenting with various teams and just seeing how far I can take them. I find taking the more difficult teams gives one a competitive game against the PC. (But then, the way I roll dice, either physically or electronically, any team can be a difficult one for me to play. LOL!) Rome Total War has been great. I've jumped right in to a big campaign with the Scipii and have reduced Carthage to just one province, whilst fending off attacks from Egypt and Numidia. (I always go for Carthage first, so that I can play them in a big campaign later!!!)

Today, I'm blogging this from a new location, the Dark Dimensions comic book store in East Gosford. Seeing I'm a regular (and have known the owners since 1999) I have been entrusted with opening up the store and manning the fort until they get here. Just wish that I could get a decent station to listen to on the radio or the internet for that matter. (Oh, hang on a minute - TV set and play station... d'oh!) Already this morning, there has been a visit from the real estate, but no customers.

So now, just enjoying the situation, watching the traffic whizz by. By some strange coincidence, a friend of mine from Victoria was passing through and wanted to know if I'd have brunch with him in Gosford. I gave him instructions where to find me today. I hope he does. It's not as if I'll be rushed off my feet. (The business lately has been up and down. One day good, one day average, one day bad, one day fantastic... However December has been a great month for them. They just wish all months could be like this one.) Seeing I have just discovered the play station, I'm listening to a special anime mix that I created. At the moment, a track from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Well, what can I say of the year? Despite all the dramas with my various mental health issues, the rather abrupt departure from the community centre, the various floggings in football and a rather below average performance in the Blood Bowl stakes this year, I would still say that the personal balance sheet for 2011 is in the black. At least, with the MH problems, I am taking medication, exercising regularly, eating a bit better and next year will be back with the psychologist. I can also say, that despite the drubbing on the pitch this year, football has been very beneficial for me, both physically and socially. Finding a mental health support group that works for me has also been great, deciding against weekly visits to the games store in Gosford, whilst changing the location where I play (and with whom I play with) has also been good.

I have also been buoyed by the fact that I have received some good support from a few good friends, and close relatives. December 30th 2011 sees me in a much better position physically, emotionally and mentally than I was back in March this year. I can positively say that I feel that 2012 is going to be a good year for yours truly. I just have that feeling about it.

Anyway, I have very little more that I can waffle on about. So I'll just sign off now, and wish everybody all the best for 2012. Cheers!

Still alive (and brilliant)

2011-12-12T00:31:00.004+11:00

I feel quite drained.

It has been a long weekend. Two trips into Sydney for another Blood Bowl tournament (my last for the year), with the alarm set for 6 am but I'm up at a quarter to. As for my efforts at the event, I finished 11th out of 13, won one, drew one and lost four games, three of them on the second day. To say that my dice were unkind is an understatement. I couldn't roll to save myself really. Still, it wasn't all bad. It was good to catch up with the BB community once again, despite the poor performance on the board and I look forward to the next event in Canberra.

So, yes, it has been a while. I have been busy and pre-occupied with a few things lately. For starters, I have started, in earnest, work on the second Feudball book, having completed four chapters and started a fifth. However, recent events, which I learnt about over the weekend, has sort of dampened my enthusiasm currently for further work on it. (I will go into detail about the new project and the recent problems concerning book one, when it travelled to Holland for the BB World Cup, a bit later.) That, and with the festive season almost upon us, my thoughts are elsewhere.

I have also been painting. I have finished what miniatures (that I have currently) in my Ogre Blood Bowl team. I have even made some attempt to decorate the bases for the miniatures, however, I need to re-do them seeing it didn't quite work out. One of the figures, an old ogre that I have had for, gees, must be several years now, I spent quite a long time on (I painted most of it listening to Gounod's Faust opera, all three disks, which goes for the better part of four hours) and I must say that I am rather pleased with how he turned out. Even today I was complemented on my painting skills by one of the better miniature painters that I know. He said that my work was definitely improving.

I have also been distracted to a degree by my little short-term interests. Watching television/DVDs, reading, even hearing something in the news has made me want to get busy and do a bit of research and see what I can find. One example which comes to mind, is the series The Promise, which has been running on SBS on Sunday nights for the last three weeks. Part of the “book” that I end up creating (on Wikipedia) for this particular subject reads (chapter headings in bold):

Foreign Intervention
British mandate for Palestine
Peel Commission
Woodhead Commission
White paper of 1939
Cyprus internment camps
Irgan and Lehi internment in Africa
UN partition plan for Palestine

General
History of Israel
Balfour declaration of 1917
Jaffa riots
1929 Palestine riots
Havana agreement
1936-39 Arab revolt in Palestine
Jews outside Europe under Axis occupation
British-Zionist conflict
1947-48 Civil War in Mandatory Palestine
Israeli declaration of Independence

Other chapter headings read: People, Arab Units, Israeli Units, Massacres, Groups, Policies/Programs, Terrorist Attacks and Military Operations.

Other interests have been: the Syria-Lebanon Campaign in World War Two, the Allied intervention in the Russian Civil War (which was sparked by an article I read about Australian troops serving in allied units there), Baldwin IV of Jerusalem (the leper king), the Admiral Graf Spee, the Polish-Soviet War of 1919-20 and the Solomon Islands Campaign of World War 2 (my main interest there being of Fijian troops that served in the campaign, alongside American and Australian troops, especially on Bougainville). Finding all this stuff has lead me to other things, like the pro-Nazi uprising in Baghdad in 1941. I endeavour to live up to my mantra of learning something new every day.

There have also been appointments to keep and meetings with the Mental Health support group. (We actually have our Xmas party coming up this week over at Woy Woy.) I have also acquired a written report of the session I had with the Clinical Psychologist last month. There was a paragraph on the test findings of a Personality Assessment Inventory that I undertook on the day (344 questions... ). It revealed quite a bit about me, including some stuff that I wasn't really expecting. Sure, I have significant anxiety related disorders, but there appears to be more to it. I'm not too sure what to make of it just yet.

Currently, I feel fine, better than I have been for quite some time. However, I still have days that seem to be out of my control, and random, negative thoughts pop up from time to time. Which is why that I have been keeping myself terribly distracted, with writing, painting and some reading. However, at night, trying to sleep is terribly problematic. I can't get comfortable, I find it hard to keep thinking about stuff, and the dreams are terribly vivid and often quite surreal.

I am also in the process of completing a job application for Gosford City Library. This is the first application that I have sent off in over seven months. This was at the encouragement of my case manager at CRS. Last Thursday (8th Dec) I explained what I really want to do, what I could be prepared to do and what I won't do. (Surprise that all the areas where there is employment opportunities, are the areas I don't/can't work in... ) Seriously, can anyone see me working in a nursing home for the mentally handicapped and/or elderly? I know I am mentally challenged (but I'm also mentally gifted as well - quid pro quo eh?) and honestly, working with the elderly would make me quite depressed, and working with the mentally handicapped would frustrate me to the nth degree.

Now for the current dramas with the new co-writing project. Recent discussions about it have lead us to a dividing up of sections to work on, with myself now getting close to two-thirds of the novel to work on. I have already completed the first “proper” drafts of four chapters (1, 3, 4 & 5) and have started chapter 6. The test for this chapter being the first major game in the book. Comments made over the weekend at the tournament have suggested that the games need to be less like “match reports” (which I post on my gaming blog). I have an idea or two that I am prepared to try, but not at this moment, whilst there is so much on, and so much to do before I head off for Xmas. (I plan a short trip up north to see my brother and his family.)

There have been a few disagreements already about the new project. Some, to me, seem very trivial indeed. For example, there were two character names that my co-author didn't like because they sounded too much like something else. One because it sounded like an Adam Sandler movie (Zohan) and the second because it sounded too much like Tinkerbell (from Peter Pan). I did change the former, and now that character has the name of a famous World War Two Russian field-marshall.

I mean, surely, everybody's surname may sound like something else (maybe not in English... ). After all, my co-writer's surname rhymes with “Cabbage”. Do I tease him over it? Umm, nope. My surname rhymes with “Burner”, which makes me sound like an arsonist. Just because the character surnames sound like something else, is that any reason to HAVE to change them? In the first book, the names of two characters are the real names of people we both know, and the third has a surname of somebody we used to know. Did we change them? No. Did I insist on changing them? No. (To be honest they did sound rather fantasy like!) Even one of the characters' names is that of a prominent suspect for Jack the Ripper!

Then there was a disagreement over the idea that the team had received bad press, that they had lost their fan base, and that their fans were to be blamed for the massive riot which ended the first book. (Yeah, for those of you who haven't read it, it is a spoiler! Ha-ha!) My argument, and rightly so, pointed out where and truly the blame for the riot was laid and it wasn't with the fans of the featured team in the book. I also made an argument that riots like this would pretty much be common-place (if we're imitating the era of early industrialization, life was quite hard, and riots, with losses of life, did happen) so it would become yesterday's news very quickly. He wanted there to be a rebuild of the fan base, which I felt was unnecessary. After all, the team came from nowhere to go within a whisker of winning the country's major sporting prize – their popularity would be quite high. Also, it has been roughly six months since the team dispersed at the end of book one, and the start of book two. Plenty of time for the fan base to have already been rebuilt...

The one that really got me was that he felt that there were “too many” new characters in the second book. He was worried that two insignificant characters that had a few lines in the first book (who were there to add a little history for one of the main characters) that I incorporated into the second book, would be taking up too much space. My argument was that these characters were going to get a mention, and have a few lines, but they weren't going to be too prominent. I just wanted to let the readers know that they were there. (The two characters in question are two assistant coaches. Now, how many professional American Football teams, being the game that this is loosely based on, have an assortment of assistant coaches? Somewhere in the vicinity of 100% I would imagine.) He felt that they were going to be secondary characters that would rob other characters of “space”. I wonder, has he seen any of the old Hollywood blockbusters of the 60's and 70's with casts of thousands? Sheesh.

There are others. Too many others. I commented to a female friend of mine fairly recently that I must be nuts to want to write another book with him.

Oh wait, I am nuts! I have a piece of paper here that says so! LOL

This nicely leads me to the recent drama of Feudball at the Blood Bowl World Cup. My colleague hatched up a “brilliant” plan to try and off-load the surplus copies of the book. This involved getting a number of Australian participants to take over a few copies of the book each, and see if they could sell them at the tournament.

Kudos to them, seeing that they did manage to sell nine copies. However, they were still left with the lion's share of them (I was informed it's something in the vicinity of 50 or 60 books) which they somehow had to get back to Australia. From my desk, I can see two brown paper bundles, containing eight books all up which I had to carry home with me on Saturday from Chatswood. Eight books were surprisingly weighty. Imagine what a combined total of 60 books would weigh...

Now imagine a dozen blokes trying to get these on the plane UNDER the baggage allowance permitted between them. Do you know how much it costs to pay for the extra weight? (I was told somewhere in the vicinity of $800.)

I was really touched when four of the gents commented that if it wasn't for me, in that I would have lost out on the proceeds from the sale of these books (and in more obvious need of funds rather than my colleague) they would have dumped the remaining books in Amsterdam if not in the many second-hand book stores, then conveniently in one of the many canals.

I was also quite embarrassed when the story unravelled over the course of the weekend, which lead me to publish an apology on FB. It also lead me to “warn” my writing partner that a certain group of people were not very happy with him at the moment, which may make the next tournament he attends (Can Con) very interesting indeed.

Now, how did it get from taking the books over, to being almost charged with excess baggage fees on the way back? From what I have heard from both parties involved, here's my understanding of it.

1) Both sides agree that books were to be taken over to the BB World Cup and sold for €15. Both sides also agree that surplus copies were going to be purchased by the tournament organizer, to be used as prizes for future events. My colleague stated that he had made the arrangement with him some time ago.
2) However, due to fact that said TO was rather pre-occupied with said World Cup, he made a “request” to the group to get rid of them, as he had other things to worry about. The boys then recovered said books, which had been abandoned in the venue, out of respect for yours truly.
3) For the next couple of days there was a flurry of messages criss-crossing the globe discussing what to do with them. My colleague said he SMSed them. One of the group said that they were PMs on a certain forum. The last of these messages was received just before the group was to depart to catch their plane back home. Of course, seeing that they were PMs, they had to hang around to receive them. This meant that certain members of the group couldn't go sight-seeing like they had planned.
4) The end result is, a rather peed-off group of Blood Bowlers and one rather embarrassed co-author.

The group's main beefs with my colleague were:
1) He made no contingency plan to get rid of them if the deal fell through (which it duly did).
2) He didn't take into consideration that there were going to be a lot of non-English speakers at the tournament, and wouldn't buy it.
3) The price asked was too high and it definitely should've been reduced for the final day.

One of the boys that I spoke to injured himself carrying some of the books back. One of them, who rarely (if ever) loses his cool, lost his cool during the débâcle. Another one was calling him a few choice names and they weren't very nice ones either. They are planning to dump the remaining copies of the book with my colleague at Can Con and tell him what he can do with them.

Sigh.

One comment, which was made by a third party at the recent event in Chatswood, said that a project like this is done for love, rather than money. People will buy the book to support the project, and support the people who created it. The end result is, all those who are going to buy a copy of the book, already have. Any further sales of the book would be highly unlikely.

Any future works, people also said, should have my name first, seeing it has now become horribly apparent to the general community that I was responsible for most of the creative work.

Right, I've had my whinge. Let's finish on something positive. I am, as you would imagine, very, very pleased at the fact that the Mariners are now equal first with current premiers Brisbane, thanks to a good run of form, and Brisbane falling by the wayside a bit with two successive losses. Unfortunately, I was still on the train heading home from Chatswood when the game against Newcastle kicked-off, but I did get back in time to hear practically all of the second half, and was much impressed.

I have a strong feeling that this will be the season of the navy blue and gold...

And on that note, I am finishing this up. Ciao!

Busy November

2011-11-17T21:37:00.008+11:00

Wasn't that busy last month. November, well, different story. My calender has been littered with appointments, outings, meetings and even dates. Gaming opportunities have arisen as well, in fact, tomorrow I'm heading over to an acquaintances' place in Gosford for a rare game of Malifaux. Sunday, another trip to Sydney for another game of Blood Bowl.

I find it ironic, that after I stopped going to the centre, my social calender just exploded. It is rare to have a day where I don't have something on. And such a variety of stuff as well.

For starters, the Mental Health Support Group. The monthly meeting was on the 3rd, which was actually quite interesting considering we had a liaison officer from the police attend, and explain a number of MH related issues with the police, the most important being how a number of officers are now receiving special training to deal with people who have mental illnesses or disabilities.

On the 12th, it was the monthly outing. Our trip this time was to the Reptile Park up at Kariong. Though it was a muggy day, it was a good day out. I enjoyed wandering around the place, looking at the wonderful assortment of critters, some which I have never seen before. I really liked seeing Elvis the crocodile have a feed, a pair of dingoes having a run around their pen, cassowaries, koalas, many varied species of birds (including black cockatoos, tawny frog-mouth owls and long-legged stilts who were nursing a new arrival), Tasmanian devils, echidnas (I could've belted that US tourist that called it a hedgehog... ), a platypus, snakes, lizards, monitors, goannas, and my particular favorite, a wombat. The day was even made more memorable after I scooped up a $20 note someone had dropped in the foyer, then converted it for a photo-opportunity later in the day. (I really couldn't refuse the opportunity. He was so adorable! But don't take my word for it... )

Sigh. Before the 12th I hadn't never even seen a live one before. (Plenty of road-killed ones though, unfortunately.) This one was very well behaved, and was still quite heavy for one only a year-and-a-half old. It felt like that I was cuddling a fat dog.

Then there have been the obligatory appointments with C/link, and their appointed job agencies. To get the ball rolling in the month, I saw the Salvos for the last time on the 1st, where I was finally transferred over to CRS, whose office is just across from the Post Office in Gosford. It was interesting to learn that the consultants there include psychologists and therapists. The initial meeting (on the 7th) had me just filling out some paper-work. I'm still waiting to meet my consultant.

I also had a brief appointment with C/link as well on the 4th. It was very brief. It answered one question, then created another. It seems a bit strange to be now with a Disability Employment Service, yet still getting Newstart...

This nicely leads us up to the psychologist appointments. The final one last Tuesday (8th) was my last Medicare supported one for the year. The treatment will continue in 2012. I don't need to go into too much detail about them, seeing I've already mentioned the outcome. The dietician should get a mention as well. On the 9th, I was informed that I had actually put 5 kgs back on, but honestly do not look or feel any fatter. I suggested the possibility of me having toned up thanks to soccer, and she agreed. Needless to say, I am going to try to shed a couple of kilos before my next appointment in May 2012.

There was a Mariners match as well. On the 12th, they played host to Melbourne Victory. It was the Mariners of old, squandering a number of opportunities in front of goal, and only escaping with a 0 all draw. The game was made more enjoyable by the presence of three team-mates from the soccer team. We had a meal and a couple of drinks beforehand, and discussed plans for next season, amongst other things.

The day before that, there was the interview I recorded at the art gallery in East Gosford. It can be downloaded/listened to at the Coast Arts website. Just look for the November 13th interviews.

Gaming has been good. Two trips to Sydney to play in a Blood Bowl league down there, with a third this Sunday. Of the seven opponents I have to play, I've already played five of them. I only had to have played three by the end of November. On the 5th, up to Wallsend (Newcastle) to play in a league up there. I can say that I have now managed a win in both leagues.

Finally, there have been a couple of dates. One which I have already mentioned, and the other which was last Monday (14th). It was with one of the younger female gamers here on the coast, one of the few gamers whom I have actually got time for these days. (I hardly see any of them. I don't even chat with them online either. Mind you, it's not as if I have any real reason to visit the local hang-out much these days, or have anything to talk to them about. Gaming in Sydney, I must say, has been a lot more enjoyable.) It was a nice lunch at the club, plenty to talk about, and a walk around Gosford looking at books afterwards. All in all it was a good afternoon.

Well, I think I have covered everything. I can post this, and continue to listen to the test cricket for another hour and a bit. I wonder if the Aussies will stuff this one up somehow...

Ciao!

Can't sleep....

2011-11-12T01:34:00.005+11:00

Meh.

Can't sleep as per usual. My brain knows it has to be up early today, that and it's going to be a long day, so it decides to make sure that I don't get anywhere near enough sleep to get through the day. Grrrr!

There has been too much happening over the last couple of weeks. From sessions with the psychologist to dates with lingerie models, I have been kept very, very busy indeed.

The main points of news, have been the following:
1) Last Tuesday (8th Nov) I had an appointment with a local clinical psychologist, which was also attended by my psychologist. The senior professional reached the same conclusions as my psychologist, that I'm clinically depressed, affected by a number of anxiety related disorders (to a clinical level), namely Social, Generic, Specific and OCD. I put Social first for that appears to be the main point of concern for the professionals. I also have a bit of something else, which falls on the higher end of the Autism scale (have a guess... ), but in the current state of things, isn't what I should be mostly worried about. (Ha ha!) Both medical practitioners wanted to stress that.

2) Yesterday (11th Nov), I recorded an interview for Coast FM 96.3. I got to chat with the presenter of the Coastal Arts program, which is aired Sundays from 6 to 7pm. I had a lovely conversation with her, talking about the Feudball book, about writing with a partner, how writing has been good therapy for my mental health, my love of football (especially the Mariners), and my writing in general. One can hear the seven minute interview on the radio, or via the internet from the station's website. If you miss it, go to the Coastal Arts website, for the interview will be posted there (at a later date).

Today, a visit to the Australian Reptile Park, with the support group, then the Mariners vs Victory match in Gosford.

It's going to be a loooong, but enjoyable day.

And now, must sleep. Ciao!

P.S: I tell a lie, it wasn't a lingerie model. (She might have been in a past life, or be one in another dimension. Who knows?) But it was with a lovely female acquaintance of mine, and we had a great chat over dinner and a drink for the better part of two hours. :)

Feelin' better

2011-10-29T11:26:00.005+11:00

Currently feeling quite relaxed and in a good mood for a change. A number of things I believe have contributed to this current feeling of well-being. For starters, the music I have been listening to lately has been quite varied and entertaining, and has made me feel more productive at home. I have managed to get my Blood Bowl blog up-to-date this week (finally), type up a few other assorted documents, re-arrange the house (again) and have another clean-up, both inside and out. This morning, I have listened to Dvorak, a reggae version of Pink Floyd's seminal Dark side of the moon LP (simply entitled Dub side of the Moon) and a Kiwi outfit called Salmonella Dub, which I have been wanting some more stuff of for some time.

Today, off to another Mariners game, this time with a Rod and his son, plus another member of the soccer team. I have been somewhat disappointed with the efforts on the paddock by the side this year, and wondering why we are on the bottom of the ladder instead of parked behind Brisbane in second place. It's not very often I get to go to a game with some friends and am looking forward to this afternoon's clash with Perth.

The cleaning up has been beneficial. It stopped me from crashing out yesterday after a long day running about for various things (to Wyoming and back, then shopping in Gosford). I now have organised similar material into each storage tub that I have, and the result has made the bedroom look a lot more tidier. Naturally, I have found items to donate to St Vinn's, have turfed out some more, and a few items which I think I can sell off. I wasn't limiting my clean-ups for inside the house either. Early evening yesterday I felt the need to clean up some dead branches in the yard. First, I disposed of a number of dead or dying branches off the frangipani tree, then tried to remove a number of dead branches from an intertwining tree that the neighbour didn't bother to do. In her efforts to tidy up the garden, she decided to cut chunks out of one of the tree's branches, leaving the seperated branches to just hang there and wither away. It looks terrible. So yesterday I did something about it, but realized that I'll need a hatchet and a small handsaw to clear away the rest. I filled both green wheelie bins.

I have been quite busy with Blood Bowl matches. Having joined not one, but two leagues (Sydney and Newcastle) has given me something to look forward to in the week (if I have a game organized) and doing something that I love doing. It gets me out and I feel more socialble whilst rolling ze dice. The week before last I had three games. I didn't win any of them, but I enjoyed them. I have also felt inclined to get back into painting, having acquired some new paints, seeing there's two teams that need some serious work done on them.

Spending time with the family has also been good. Another unexpected trip up to my sister's and a couple of nights there was quite beneficial for me, seeing I got away from Gosford for a while. It gave me a chance to learn what is really going on in my sister's little tribe, and a phone call to my brother's last week gave me some insight into what's happening with them as well. (I try to stay up-to-date, but it hasn't been easy.)

But arguably the main factor in why I am feeling so good today is that I got some sleep! Six hours, unbroken, with very little dreaming. (Honestly, some of them have been downright weird of late. Weirder than they normally are... )I have often felt that if I could get just six hours beneficial rest, instead of two hours here and two hours there, then I could do anything with the day.

I'll finish this off soon, seeing it's lunch time. But I'd thought I'd display a poem that I wrote, that I discovered during my clean up, that hadn't been digitalized. I wrote it way back in 2009. I don't ask you to like it. Read it or don't, it's your choice.

Jim Jones was a preacher too y'know...
(c) 2009. Finished: 10.30am, December 5th.

Forgive me for being sceptical (but you have to), but how can I show faith in a single god?
With so much being done in his name, I find it hard to believe he's one and the same
"Thou shall not kill" is the command - but it goes unheeded in this day and age
"Love thy neighbour" is the word - but only when he has shed his life's blood on your sword

So, am I meant to forgive murderers who have seen the light?
Am I to turn a blind eye if innocents are slain during the fight?
For the concept of total warfare is too extreme
Everyone is a combatant - everyone is a target it seems

I see so many acts of charity, but do they silence the hunger pains of coporate greed?
Donating cheap computers to Africa - to spread the love or implant the seed for future commercial need?
And how does blowing one's self up get you into heaven, especially when you kill those that have been trained to save lives?
All life is precious - yet it is so cheap, you can buy it online - and don't forget your complimentary set of steak knives!

Do we really need a special day to give to a charity? Do we really need a website to explain the cause, and a page for credit card details?
It's a waste of time my friend - when 75 cents in your dollar goes straight to admin's coffers
Cut out the middle man - give your change directly to the beggar on the corner
Or better yet - throw it my way - I'll grant you absolution - I'm a registered charity too don't y'know! :)

From coffee shops to business stock - St Francis had the right idea
"Tax the churches!" - why should they be exempt? Especially when they're sporting corporate gear...
Martin Luther railed against church hipocracy - the pope getting fat whilst the flock gets leaner
So much for vows of chastity and poverty - there's a lot of money around to defend all those children "loving" (if it can be called that) preachers

He can't be on both sides in a conflict - he can't be crusader (Gott ist mit uns!) and a warrior for Islam at the same time
So when the bullets are flying - he's watching Oprah, or listening to Creedence, so take a number and get in line
There's a simple equation in this scenario - he supports the side with the most bombs and guns
Calibre helps, and killing power, just ask the Japs and Krauts as to what's been done

So, forgive me for being sceptical (but you have to), but how can I show faith in any god?
I can't, so I will show faith in myself, in that I will survive...

Laters!

Au revoir toy library

2011-10-15T05:32:00.005+11:00

Well, I should've realized by all the lovely little things happening during the week were going to get balanced out by something bad. I sort of saw this coming, but didn't expect it to happen yesterday.

The short and simple version is, I have left the community centre. Left, I should say as in "I quit". Once again I find myself walking away from a community based organization after a disagreement with a staff member. You'd think I'd learn by now, if I join one, it's going to end poorly.

And end poorly it did, with me picking up my bag, and just walking out the door, never to return again. The next time I want to see Morisset, is from a train carriage, passing through en-route to Newcastle.

Last Friday (7th) I expressed my thoughts on the revision of the volunteer joining manual. They didn't go down too well with the volunteer co-ordinator, her response leaving me quite annoyed, and more than a little upset. Yesterday, during yet another quiet period, she calls me into her office for a "chat".

Lecture would have been more appropriate. After inquiring as to my current state of mental health, she then proceeded to inform me that she was displeased with my remarks the previous week. When asked "Was I happy here?" I bluntly replied I wasn't. To which, I was told that I should've told her earlier, instead of her finding out "the hard way" last week.

The tone, at times, was condescending. It was also patronizing, abrupt and had put me into one of those "fight, flight or freeze" situations within a couple of minutes of it starting. This time I froze, but with dozens of thoughts crying out for me to get out of there. I wasn't being talked to, I was receiving a disciplinary lecture, akin to one a troublesome school child would receive from a headmaster.

That's honestly how it felt. At times I really couldn't say anything and there were short periods of awkward silence. She went through a list of things that I could do, seeing the underlining fact was that I wasn't doing anything whilst I was there at the centre. But by that time, I had already made up my mind that I was going to leave, especially after she used the word "tolerate" in terms of my behavior and condition.

Tolerate. It's a heavy word. At the end of the discussion, I thanked her for her time, and went back to the office. I slung my volunteer card over the hook, went to the bathroom, took stock for a few moments, then returned to the office, after signing off in the day book. Then I bagged all my USB keys (after stopping material I was downloading) and simply walked out of the centre whilst she sat there pretending as if nothing had happened.

She even came after me as well. I told her I was going home, although I didn't know at the time I was going to spend half-an-hour sitting at the station waiting for the next Sydney bound train. I vented my spleen to a couple of people on the mobile, texted a couple more, and by the time the train arrived I had calmed down enough to finish reading War of the worlds before the train had reached Ourimbah.

Tired? Yes. It's somewhere between 4am and 5am and I find myself venting my spleen in order to get back to sleep. I have plenty on today, and more tomorrow, and Monday. Once again, sleep eludes me. I think I only got 90 minutes worth this time round.

So now what? I won't be going back. Yesterday, strangely enough, coincided with the last day of my exemption from job seeking activities. I even had a phone call during the week from the Salvos about an appointment I was having with them on Monday (17th). When I told them I was being switched over to Disability Services, she checked, and cancelled my appointment with her on Monday.

My psychologist also rang on Thursday in regards to expediating things for my professional diagnosis. She had met a colleague at a seminar, got to talking, and we shall be making an appointment with her as soon as possible, so that it can be determined what else I have. I could say what my psychologist believes it is, but she wants to be certain, before embarking on treatment.

On top of that, the landlords turned up on Thursday morning to kick out some unwanted guests. The girly in number three had been "entertaining" some friends, who had pretty much moved into the place, coming and going as they pleased. A couple of nights may not have been a problem, but weeks? The property manager had asked me about them, after being confronted by one of them when she was doing the bi-yearly inspection on the unit. The landlords said that they had received complaints, and decided to take action. I wasn't complaining.

Then the old dear in unit two tells me the junk that she had stored around the side and back of my unit was going. Obviously the landlords told her to get rid of it. In a good mood at that time, I wandered into town for a rare game of something at the games store, which I won. I have also received invitations during the week to join two Blood Bowl leagues as well, one in Sydney the other in Newcastle. I have my first game for the Sydney comp on Sunday at Burwood.

Also, with some help from a mate, I ferried my old Hammond organ to my sister's on Monday. The money she gave me for it was spent on a few hours at Erina Fair on Tuesday. Lunch and a bit of shopping, and a few little items that I had been after. (A pity I didn't get the mail before I went. Waiting for me were two $20 gift cards for a pile of surveys that I had done online... ) My sister has also asked me to babysit on Monday night seeing she has been called to Penrith for a work related trip.

So it hasn't been all bad. I had been on the mend, and was feeling good about myself, but all that was spoiled in ten minutes yesterday. I guess I would've liked to have parted on better terms, preferably at the end of the year, but, well, it's done and there's really no reason to be turning back.

Like I've always said, I don't just burn bridges, I dynamite the foundations and alter the course of the river as well.

Right. I'm sufficiently tired now to want to go to sleep. There's afternoon tea with the mental health support group, then the Mariners play Gold Coast at the stadium.

Ciao!

Spring, yes?

2011-10-08T09:10:00.015+11:00

Well, the sun is finally coming out, which is good, but there's also plenty of grey clouds about, which could well mean more rain. But then the weather has been so unpredictable lately it wouldn't surprise me if it pours down, again, sometime today.

Meteorological reports aside, I'm currently relaxing with DIG radio on the set top box. First time I've had DIG on for some time. But then, this time last week I was well into my first game at MOAB. The week before, and it was round one at Bushranger Bowl. At least I got my Blood Bowl fix out of the way (thirteen games over two weekends, phew!), though I'm really wanting to get involved in a league once again. I have registered with SLOBB (Sydney League of Blood Bowlers) and should be playing in one of their leagues in the near future. The other options were in Newcastle and Penrith. Despite the distance, the Penrith one was looking more promising, but the SLOBB one is the better way to go, seeing there is no messing about with transport. I hop on a train at Gosford, I get off at Central and walk a hundred metres to the Good Games store. Easy. At Penrith, it's not much different, probably a two hundred metre walk. However for Newcastle it would mean train and a change for buses.

As for performances at the tourneys, well, at Bushranger I finished second last (out of 28) and at MOAB, 7th (out of 20). On both occasions I was using races that I had never used before, and though I didn't win a single game at Bushranger, I could've won EVERY game there had my dice been rolling somewhat more favorably. I wasn't thrashed in any of those games, the worst being a two TD defeat, and twice scored three touchdowns in losing efforts. I had three draws though. At MOAB though I was thrashed in the first two games, then drew the next two, then won the last two. Having gotten those two races out of the way though means I have now played 15 of the 24 races. If my finances improve next year, I could get a good chunk of those remaining out of the way. Without a doubt, in 2013 I'll complete my major gaming goal.

My spirits were also buoyed by the generosity of the Blood Bowl gaming community. At Bushranger, I had mentioned that I was building a Slann team consisting of Australian animals. By the end of the tournament, I had acquired (fairly cheaply) two more emu and bilby catchers for the team, and won a limited edition Kangaroo, which becomes the team's big guy. I had also got a place to stay for two nights, a couch to crash on, and transport to and from the event, including a lift back to Newtown at the end of day two, so that I could easily hop on a train heading to Strathfield, then home.

However, at MOAB, having acquired accommodation for the two nights, and transport to and from the event (with the tournament organiser no less), I mention that I would go to the big event at Can Con in 2012 provided that I could find somewhere to stay, cheaply. By the end of day one, I had accommodation sorted and transport to and from the event taken care of, with one of the event organisers. This was on top of a previous offer for transport down to Canberra. On day two, again, a lift back to Newtown and quickly onto a train back to Strathfield then home.

Back to Bushranger Bowl, on the Saturday night (24th Sept) I went out with a few other gamers, and got quite, quite drunk, on Strongbow Dry and Black Label Johnny Walker. I also met up with a couple of other former Corsair games club members, and continued to drink past three am in the morning, disregarding the fact that we had a nine am kick-off for round five at the tournament!

But this nicely leads to my current mental health status. Now that it has become apparent that I have not just depression, but a number of anxiety related disorders as well. My psychologist at the last session remarked that I had made a wonderful improvement since first seeing me back in winter. The depression, though not fully gone, is well contained, which now leaves the matter of dealing with the anxiety.

Anxiety related disorders is the number one mental health concern in this country. I'm not proud of the fact that I am in this group of "consumers", but at least I can say that I am working on it. The psych surmised that quite a deal of my social and specific anxiety comes from childhood incidents. I won't go into any detail here, but one of them was indeed life changing.

As for going out, twice in recent months I have suffered from "sensory overloads". The first being at the Hooters restaurant at Randwick at the end of season bash with the soccer team, and the second when I went out with the gamers a couple of weeks ago. Both places that I visited, were way too much for me, which resulted in me switching off, becoming distant, and very, very bored. (On the second occasion, when I left the club, and ventured back to a nearby apartment, I was fine, seeing I could hear and talk to people, and I wasn't being bombarded by music which I found revolting.)

I have always been like that, for as long as I can remember. I never liked the nightclub scene. Pubs though I don't mind, but rarely go to them, especially here on the Central Coast. Combine loud music, with bright lighting, with attractive women wandering about, with sport being displayed on the televisions (sans sound) and yours truly finds himself in his own personal hell, regardless of the company he's keeping. Even alcohol hardly dulls the pain. I find myself wishing I was somewhere else.

My psychologist though agrees with me on the theme restaurants, so I'm not alone there! And she understands why I don't like these places. I don't like the music (commercial dance crap); I won't dance to music I don't like (play ska, a waltz, or even something funky, or hand me my gloves and put me in goals and then you'll see me dance); I can't talk to people because it's too loud; I can barely hear people because it's too loud; and, let's face it, I'm not interested in picking up either. With all the stuff happening around me, I focused on the television and watched the Rugby World Cup and then the English Premier League, which I found a lot more interesting. Once people understand that, then you will get on well with me. If you want a happy chappy, take me to a pub, where I can get a decent counter meal, where I can hear you from a metre away rather than having my to strain my ear just millimetres from your lips (which isn't bad though if the talker is female :) ), give me a cold drink, and room to move and you'll find that I can be a very, very social person indeed.

Apart from the psychologist, there's also been the mental health support group meeting as well. There's a few events coming up, and I even attended one during the week, the Walk in the Park in Gosford. It was a good day for it, and it was good to get out for an hour or so. Coming up, is an afternoon tea at the art gallery down the road from me, and a trip to the reptile park up at Kariong in November, which I am looking forward to!

My moods though haven't swung that much lately, seeing I have been kept well and truly occupied. However, I have been finding that the work at the community centre has become quite, well, mundane of late. With yours truly getting up around 7am, to get there around 9.30am, for five and a bit hours every Friday, it has become horribly apparent that I hardly do anything whilst I'm there, apart from print up a swag of material, download music, work on a personal project or two, and create PDF Wikipedia books. (A very handy resource I must say!) Last week I created a basic document on Japanese War Crimes (of WW2), and another on the first Sino-Japan war, which was actually quite an interesting read. Yesterday, I created a large file on the Greek War of Independence (1822-24) to replace an old file that I had printed up some time ago. I included material on key battles, some personalities, locations, units, organisations, and treaties. The second one I created was on North American frontier wars, between the English, French, Dutch, Spanish, etc. I was quite fascinated by what I had read, but frustrated that couldn't print either of these files up. (The printer just wouldn't do it.) The latter I only just got into the start of the 18th century, as there was quite a determined contest between the powers for possession of North America and Canada. I have also created documents on Radetzky, the noted central European commander, Japanese "Holdouts" from WW2, and others.

I digress. I have had practically nothing to do in regards to the toy library. I've made two transactions in the last six weeks. I generally either sit around the office, or sit in the library, then the office, and spend a lot of time on the internet. Occasionally, I might have to answer the phone, or assist with a computer problem (often a very simple one) or do some photocopying/faxing, but there are two other people in the office on Fridays to do that. (I should also add, I have been asking the coordinator for new material in the library since the start of the year. I know there are funds in the kitty, because I keep the spreadsheet up to date. But have I seen any new material in there this year???)

I find that I have become pretty much surplus to requirements. In two years there, I haven't progressed any further up the chain, and am being treated more like part of the furniture each time I turn up. Yesterday I was in disagreement with the volunteer coordinator over the volunteer handbook which is being revised. I asked do you expect, say, a 65 year old volunteer to read all of this? (The document contains procedures, tasks, responsibilities, etc. which runs for over twenty pages.) I was told, in no uncertain terms, everybody who works in here has to know this and has to read it. I questioned a number of things, like why do you need to put in a procedure for covering vehicle accidents? Yes, I understand a volunteer may be put in a position to drive, but shouldn't that be in a separate document, along with procedures on "how to use the fax/photocopier", "how to use the laminator", and "how to use the chair trolley"? (I didn't even know we had one until yesterday.) I remarked, well, if you going to put those in, how about ones on "how to use a laptop" "how to insert/remove a USB key", and "what to do when you get a troublesome client in the office"? (The latter was remarked upon - we have the training for that. But I stated, a new volunteer doesn't and most likely wouldn't have it to begin with. Tough luck if they have to deal with one before one of the training sessions.) This disagreement put me in a really bad mood, which was compounded by a lousy trip home on the train. There were a couple of really mentally disturbed persons in my carriage (they were terribly loud and obnoxious) and from Wyong onwards, it was extremely noisy, with a dozen conversations going at once, and at high volume. I found myself getting very, very anxious, and had to retreat to my "happy place" and do some deep breathing exercises.

So, I have come to the conclusion that there are two things I would really like to do in order to improve my mental well-being. 1) Finish volunteer work at the community centre. 2) Move from the Central Coast, or, at the very least, re-locate to a better place on the Central Coast.

Both raise questions though. What would I do to keep me active? The toy library had given me a good reason to get out at least one day a week and contribute to society. And where would I move to? I also know that I can't afford to move and would have to borrow heavily to do so.

Points to ponder eh?

Anyway, this has gone on long enough. I must've really needed this! Tonight, I can be distracted by the start of the new A-League season, with the Mariners playing away in Brisbane, in a replay of last year's grand final. Also, on Monday, I shall be making a delivery to my sister's place. Her middle child, Acacia, has been wanting to take up music. My sister remembered that I have an old Hammond organ that I don't use. (For personal reasons, I have been very reluctant to get rid of it in the past.) Now though, I have decided that if my niece wants to learn a musical instrument, and has already started with lessons, then she can have the organ. The problem was getting it there.

But I have made arrangements, and Monday, barring unforeseen circumstances, I will get it there. My sister, and my niece, are looking forward to it.

Okay, time to wind this up. I need lunch, and I need to get some washing on the line, seeing the sun has decided to stay out. Cheers!

Back in the library

2011-09-16T10:33:00.002+10:00

Well, seeing Spring has decided to well and truly make her presence known, I decided I'd venture back out to the toy library for a change of scenery. The front office was getting too crowded, with three office volunteers in today (not including myself) so I'd decided to head outside to my little hidey-hole for the first time in, well, months.

Not that I expect to be doing much out here. Apparently clients came in before I even got to Morisset (must've been keen) but the office staff were able to handle it. It's not as if it's rocket science...

But it's quite quiet out here. I like it when it's like this. I can veg out and do bugger-all, or, rattle off a long overdue blog. :)

What can I waffle on about? Well, have been inspired somewhat to do some re-arranging of furniture around the house, mainly because I acquired a second-hand desk. So the PC went back into the bedroom (just wasn't getting much done with it being in the lounge room, that and it was a tad uncomfortable), with a lovely spot by the window, and just enough room to open the wardrobe doors. Now I can work to my heart's content without having the other tenants (and their guests) wandering past my front window having a sticky-beak. (The downfall of having the front unit. Everybody has to walk past my lounge room window... ) I also get a good view of the yard, the frangipani tree (which should be blooming shortly) and East Gosford.

I also have an inspection coming up, so I'll need to do a bit of cleaning as well whilst I have the chance. I need to do some more work on the bathroom ceiling, plus give the place a long overdue vacuum as well. The lounge can do with a bit of a tidy as well, seeing I've been going through some old folders and disposing of unnecessary print-outs.

Of course, my enthusiasm for such a task may wane considerably, if my disrupted sleeping patterns continue. Every day this week I have been napping on the couch in the afternoon, primarily because I wake up between 2am and 4am, take a while to nod back off, then wake again around 7am. I generally don't have problems getting to sleep, just staying asleep.

Accompanying the sleeping disruptions have been a series of unrelated dreams. The dreams have gone from the simple, such as being in a garden identifying birds, to the bizaare, where I was watching a group of people make a R-rated video - South Park style. The soccer one, where I score wasn't too bad, but I clearly recall as I kicked the ball in my dream, I kicked the blanket off the bed as well. There was also one where it appeared that I was in my grandmother's kitchen, watching TV with a relative that I couldn't identify, and the person we were watching (a soccer coach, dressed in a tracksuit) started talking to us as if he could see us. Then he stepped out of the screen...

There were others. There was one where I was with some familiar faces in a games store, going through the miniatures range and dicussing Blood Bowl. Another had me sliding through a fancy department store after closing time, weaving my way through the displays and talking to staff. I think I even had the obligatory law enforcement one where I was a plain-clothes detective getting to the source of some disturbance.

It's wierd. I really don't know why this keeps on happening. At the moment, I am in a better place (mentally and emotionally) than I have been for months. People I know locally are talking to me again, I'm getting out and doing stuff (including gaming - and I have two Blood Bowl tournaments coming up over the next three weeks) and life generally has become quite bearable. My sister called in unexpectantly last week and stayed for an hour and I even managed a rare movie outing to Tuggerah on Tuesday to see Cowboys and Aliens (mini review of it currently on the right-hand side of the page). I really wanted to see the Conan the Barbarian movie, but it was on the Central Coast cinemas for, like, five minutes...

I've even been getting a few looks walking around too. I started wearing bandanas now seeing I got so used to wearing one whilst playing soccer, and even ventured out and bought three different coloured ones last time I went to Erina Fair. People have commented that the bandana looks good, that I am looking quite fit and healthy and the occasional glance from women passing by has been encouraging! (Exiting Morisset station this morning I drew an extended look from a slim brunette wearing a green jacket and a floral skirt. Pity I wasn't going her way... )

I hope it continues.

Anyway, time is drifting away quite nicely at the moment, and it is almost time to pack up and venture back inside, where I can get the rest of the list of stuff printed up that I had jotted down. This afternoon, seeing it's pay day, I'll need to shop, then I can relax at home and have a game or two of my latest addictions - Carcassonne and Settlers of Catan.

Ciao!

Spring is here!

2011-09-01T19:38:00.004+10:00

Ah, Spring has arrived, and yes, it was rather nice outside today here. I decided to walk into town for the monthly mental health support group meeting, and take advantage of the weather. I even decided to walk home again as well once the meeting concluded, surprising myself by setting something of a personal best time for the walk.

With soccer finished for the year, I decided that I'd start walking again, seeing I need something to keep me relatively fit during the off season. I had been getting lazy, that I haven't been sleeping well recently either, and honestly haven't felt like leaving the house seeing I've been so tired during the day. Of course, with the lack of sleep, I become irritated, become quite miserable, and very disinclined to do anything, including regular household chores such as doing the dishes and laundry. This morning, I experienced a typical restless sleep. In bed around midnight, awake at 2.30am, can't doze back off and decide to get up and download some stuff (taking advantage of the larger off-peak download limit) and watch some soccer. Unfortunately, the connection kept on dropping out, and my digital set-top box was misinforming me. The soccer is on One, so I select One, but get Eleven. Turns out, the soccer was on One HD, and I only have standard...

So, what would have been a rare opportunity to watch a bit of the Bundesliga, turns out to be a wasted effort, and I put on a DVD instead, giving up on trying to download any of the multitude of songs that I have liked whilst listening to DIG radio. Turns out the Mythbusters DVDs that I borrowed from the library (my favorite – season two, with a rather young and sweet Kari Byron, Scottie Chapman, the blonde-haired tattooed metal artist whom I quite liked, Christine Chamberlain, Jamie's regular offsider and thankfully no Grant Imahara, who I find just a tad annoying) had a couple of dud disks, so the DVD chucked a wobbly trying to play them, meaning I missed seeing all of some of the good episodes. The exploding cement truck though is always worth watching again!!!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, sleep. So, relying on my couch of drowsiness to do it's job, I turned off the set sometime around 4.30am, and though I was slightly disturbed by the garbage collectors around 6am, I managed to sleep until 9am. That's generally what I experience every night. Twice this week I have dozed off during the day as well, which I shouldn't. At least today I got through it without getting drowsy.

Thanks mostly to the MH support group meeting. It wasn't a big turn out, but it was good to turn up, say hello, and find out a few things, namely for support programs. There's even one that may well help me find some regular work again, which I'll look into once I get online. I must say there's not many people that I can really relate to in this group, but to know that I'm not the only one struggling with MH issues does help.

As does exercise, and social outings. Had a rather big one on August 27th, with the end of season bash at Rosehill racecourse. I finished up about $20 down, which goes to show that I really can't pick them regardless as to how well I can (or can't) interpret the guide. I did back one winner, and got two thirds as well, but hardly got anything back. Had I not chucked in a tenner to take part in the “syndicate” on the day, I would have finished up a lot worse. We backed a winner in the sixth race, then turned that money into a box trifecta in the last, which also came up. Fourteen of us got back $20 each, which I lived on this week.

Other people though did considerably better. One chap put $30 to win on a 17 to 1 shot, which got up, and another backed a number of winners and place-getters throughout the day, finishing hundreds of dollars in the black, and being quite generous enough to pay for dinner for the group at Hooters. He even drove myself and the other Central Coast player back to Epping, where we had barely a ten minute wait for a train back to Gosford. I was back home by 10.30pm, seeing I very conveniently had a bus waiting for me as well.

It was a good day out. I drank more alcohol in one day than I had done for most of the year, and had two of the best burgers I had ever had, one strangely enough at the racecourse. The other was at Hooters, which came with curly fries.

And what did I think of the theme restaurant? Terribly tacky, and in the end quite glad to get out of there. Sure, it was nice looking at some nubile young ladies wandering around displaying their assets, but the noise was driving me nuts, especially as I was hearing the same tracks over and over again, whilst the ladies were doing their little dances. There was also a considerable wait for our meals, with the lasses spending more time wandering around being eye candy to the large number of sex-starved yobbos rather than attending to our gastronomical needs.

Still, the company was good, and it gave me the chance to get out, spend some time with the team, and get to know them socially. It even gave me a chance to have a decent chat with the team captain, give him a little insight into how I'm feeling, and find out what's in store for the side next season. It turns out, I could well be having more time on the wing, seeing I played quite well there in the few runs I had there this season. However, my services will be still needed in goal as well. I'm still the first choice keeper, but at least I can provide the captain other options if someone needs to be in goals for a particular game.

I've been wanting to add a comment on the current mess in Libya at the moment. Despite acquiring the assistance of NATO, the rebels are still fighting to take control of the country after months of conflict. With Tripoli fallen, the rebels still don't have the major prize of Gaddafi, nor do they have his home town of Sirte in their hands either. I'm impressed that the dictator's forces have continued the fight for so long with the overwhelming air support provided by NATO, that and the battle has so decidedly turned against them.

I'm also impressed with the improvised mobile weaponry the rebels have come up with. I see quite a number of pick-up trucks with light anti-aircraft guns, heavy machine guns, light cannons and rocket launchers mounted on them which would be quite useful in urban conflict, and faster to move between hot spots in the desert.

However, there have been a number of questions I've wanted to ask:

* What if Gaddafi forces had shot down a NATO jet and/or captured a pilot as well? Would the air support had been continued so enthusiastically?
* Is NATO going to provide compensation for the civilian lives lost thanks to their mistakes?
* Are the rebels going to be any better than the tyrant they replace?
* Where is Gaddafi hiding? In a hole in the desert like Saddam?
* Will Gaddafi followers get a fair deal if they surrender? Will African laborers arrested on the suspicion of being foreign mercenaries get a fair deal?
* What do Al-Qaeda make of all this?
* Will NATO/UN be providing peace-keepers in post-Gaddafi Libya?
* Who is going to a) re-train the Libyan army and police force, b) rebuild the country, c) foot the bill for both?
* Will rebels who have committed atrocities against pro-Gaddafi forces (the execution of foreign mercenaries for example) face war crime trials?

I really don't have answers for any of them. I would say though, the rebels aren't providing the forces still loyal to Gaddafi with many options. “Surrender to avoid a bloodbath” they demand, giving them until Saturday. Yet, they have often said those that have committed crimes against the people will be tried and most likely executed.

What a choice – fight to the death, or surrender and be executed. Hmm, gees, I'd seriously consider changing into civvies, throwing away my gun and sneak out of the country any way possible. I suppose joining Al-Qaeda to fight the western backed rebel forces would be an option too.

Whatever the case, I feel Libya will turn out just like Iraq – internally divided, frequent bombings, and occupied by foreign forces, with the distinct possibility of western corporations making a fortune in rebuilding the country.

Right, that's my ten cents worth.

Despite the poor nights of sleep, and the periods of “I can't be bothered”, I have been be able to get one thing done that has been long overdue – cleaning out the wardrobe. I bagged a lot of clothing and old bedsheets that I have been meaning to get rid of for a while, dumping the first lot in a clothing bin on Monday and still with a second lot to get rid of. This now means I'll have to go clothes shopping in the near future, something I don't like doing. I have done some recently, acquiring a pair of jeans that snugly fit my diminished waistline. Now I need a few pair of shorts and a few decent shirts...

I also had to acquire a new phone recently as well, seeing the old Telstra handset died. The problem now is the new handset I picked up doesn't appear to be working properly. Despite following all the instructions, and the feedback from the helpline, I still cannot get a dial-tone, nor get rid of the static. When the phone rings, I can't hear anyone at the other end, and I can't make calls.

Not happy, especially seeing the rent is going up as well in October, and have an inspection in a couple of weeks time. Then I have to restart my appointments with the psychologist in a couple of weeks as well and the electricity bill is also due...

Still, there's two Blood Bowl tournaments coming up, and I have recently discovered the addictiveness of Carcassonne, both the tile game and a PC version. The latter I've been playing daily, playing as many as twenty games against varying computer opponents. The AI, I've discovered, is actually quite good, and can be a bit of a bastard...

Right, that's enough for the time being. Ciao!

Two parter, one post

2011-08-17T17:07:00.005+10:00

TUESDAY, 16th AUGUST.

Yeah, been a bit slack with this blog lately. Plenty of things to keep me occupied recently. Even now I'm playing babysitter to a nephew and a niece, up at my sister's place in Gwandalan. This was totally unexpected. Monday (15th) afternoon I get a phone call from my sister asking if I could come up and keep an eye on her boy.

So, seeing it's family, I checked the public transport timetables, and, well, here I am. Pretty simple in the end, a train to Morisset, then a leisurely bus trip to Gwandalan (75 minutes leisurely roughly) where I got to see a number of scattered hamlets around the lakes, as well as a few retirement villages (I found Valhalla! It's in Chain Valley Bay! Disappointed that I didn't see any departed Viking warriors though... ), and got a running commentary from the bus driver for most of the trip, all for $2.10. Also had the entire bus to myself from Morisset to Summerland Point and got dropped off just down the road from my sister's place.

And how are the young rels? Being entertained watching Futurama at the moment. (They still have the dishes to do before showering and going to bed though.) The sister is off at work and will be back around 9pm.

So, why is my nephew at home currently? He's not sick, but he is something that starts with “s” - suspended. Apparently he's had some major behavioural problems at school, (he's not an angel at home I should add... ) and well, my sister is at a loss as to what to do with him. His attitude is rather poor. Trying to get him to do some simple homework (you wouldn't think an 8 yo would have a major problem with “What is 11 minus 5?”) is quite a challenge. He gets so frustrated, and so impatient he starts throwing tantrums, which mum won't put up with.

There's other stuff, but I won't go into too much personal detail about it here. My niece (the middle child in my sister's family), is far better behaved, but like the nephew, has her problems as well.

But then, who am I to talk??? LOL

(Later)

Sorry, sidetracked watching a Simpsons Halloween episode that I hadn't seen before. It was actually quite good, and will have to hunt for a few stills from it to include in the game especially the mutant peacocks and the priest splashing holy water on Homer. Thankfully my sister does have an old disk, with both “Who shot Monty Burns?” episodes on it, so I can grab some stills from it.

The main drama over the last fortnight occurred last week, when C/Link decided they would suspend my payments for failure to turn up to an appointment. (No warnings, no show, no contact, no money.) The first I heard of it was when I read the electronic mail on my personal CL page last Friday (12th).

Now, it may seem quite simple to y'all – yours truly missed an appointment, and I got my benefit suspended. Nah, it's not that simple. The appointment I allegedly missed was on the 8th at 8.45am. Problem was, I actually attended that meeting. I was logged in arriving at reception at 8.25am, then logged in at 8.27am as being attended to by a C/Link staffer (her name was Kaye I think). For further proof I was there, I signed a Participation Activity Agreement (yet one of the many hurdles one has to jump to survive). We discussed my recent Job Capacity Assessment (back in July) and I was informed that I have no further need to lodge any more medical certificates seeing my condition has finally been recognized by them. (Gees, how many years did that take??) I could even add that there was some junkie complaining to the staffer behind me about his payments not showing up in his account, how he apparently rescued someone in a driving storm (what that had to do with his payments I have no idea) and how the C/Link staffer that interviewed me commented that since the recent drug raids on the coast, all the junkies around Gosford have actually become quite nervous. I responded with a story about an event I witnessed at a service station up at Kariong on the 7th, when I was on my way to the second day of the Eucalyptus Bowl tournament. A “gent” in a rather souped up car, was being arrested by three cops, who were putting wads of fifty dollar notes in brown paper bags along with some other substances. (They had pulled him over for a routine check and noticed the stuff on the back-seat.) This, mind you, was around 7.45am on a Sunday morning.

Anyway, I humbly digress. (I've been trying to finish reading Good Soldier Svejk, seeing a mate's grandparents have loaned me half-a-dozen other tomes they felt I'd be interested in, as well try and finish that novel A Bastard of a Place that I started before reading Svejk – gees, I'm even going off on tangents like he does as well as using “humbly”.) All that information (apart from the bits about the junkie and my anecdote) was conveniently logged in my file that the call-staffer I was speaking to accessed on Friday (12th) afternoon. He was as surprised as I was when he read the file and told me what he would like to do to the Gosford staff for making such a stuff up...

Long story short, benefit was restored yesterday (15th)and a little extra surprise was that the tax return had come through as well. So I might well go for a little shop tomorrow for a new pair of sneakers. This time no bus ride, a lift back with my sister when she goes to take the boy to a doctor's appointment. I'm also thinking some more can go on the credit card to get it under control. Then there's a couple of outstanding debts I could start to pay off...

Now for the good news. My belated appearance on the second day of the annual Eucalyptus Bowl (held in Burwood on August 6th & 7th) was actually quite well worthwhile. Not only did I knock another race off the “to play” list (13 down, 11 to go), and “broke” the record for the most number of attendees at a Blood Bowl tournament in the Southern Hemisphere (I was participant 75, which broke the record of 74 which was set earlier this year at Can Con), I also won Sunday Champion as I was the only player who attended the tournament who was only playing on Sunday! (I only won one game, but all three were decided by the same scoreline – 2-1.) My prize was $100 worth of board game, the Carcassonne Big Box, with the original game and five expansions. I shall be christening it this Thursday.

The other good news is that my team won their last game of the year in emphatic style, recording a 4-0 victory over a side that needed to win to have any chance of making the play-offs. The win was made even more sweeter by the fact that:

a) The team we played against must've been at least 10 years younger than us to a man. In some cases, like myself, some of them would've been young enough to be my son. (One of the opposing players remarked during the game “we are being beaten by a bunch of pensioners”. I cheerfully responded “Too right!”)

b) I started the game at inside centre right (with my mate Rod playing on the wing beside me), switched briefly to designated striker, and finished the game on the right wing. Not only did I start the game on the field, but I finished it there as well. I had two breaks, one because I was exhausted, and the second because my left ankle was playing up. After a few minutes to recover it was good enough for me to go back on.

c) My appeal for a hand-ball in the penalty area late in the match was acknowledged by the referee, much to the consternation of the opposition. Our striker had shot at goal (I was in there ready for a rebound just in case) the keeper took some of the pace off it, and a defender, who was getting up at the time, inadvertently put his hand right in the path of the ball, stopping it from going in. Our striker easily put the penalty away to make it 4-0 and get a well-earned double for the match.

d) Earlier in the season, this same side beat us 2-6 at home.

Did I enjoy my run out on the paddock? I sure did. I enjoyed it so much I want to be back out on the wing next season. The captain was quite happy with my effort, especially seeing I played quite well, made a couple of good touches, including one which I stopped from going out, then played it forward where a centre ran onto it perfectly. The resulting play lead to a good scoring opportunity which was narrowly missed. I almost scored myself, being johnny-on-the-spot when another attacking raid went down-field. I was standing in front of an open goal as a team-mate tried to get the ball to me – his pass went straight to the keeper.

The longer the game went on, the better I felt (despite the ankle) and felt quite ecstatic at the end of the game when we had won. The keeper for the game actually won our man of the match, as he had a pretty good game in goal, and despite his size made some impressive saves. (Mind you though, he was nowhere near as busy as I was in my last three games in the net.) All this on top of great comeback in the previous round, when we were trailing 1-4 at half-time, then 1-6 early in the second half. The team scored the next three goals, and had the game gone on for five more minutes, we may have well got the other two to square it up for an unlikely draw.

I was in goals for that game. My performance, I felt, was pretty darn good, despite the number of goals. The first three were rather soft, and from defensive errors, the next three were in the space of five minutes either side of the main break, where you couldn't put much blame on anybody to be honest. The last goal I recall quite well. I had responded to the charge coming down-field, but probably a bit too early (seeing I had heard a couple of calls from team-mates). I was chipped. I muttered “you bastard” as the struck ball just missed my left hand and curled into the top left-hand corner of the net.

I had made some good, if not great saves. Three times successfully coming out to thwart attackers, once defusing a rather dangerous long bomb, and tipping a couple past the post on dives. The tally for the match was ten, seven of those coming in the first half, demonstrating how much we controlled the game in the second term. It was even better seeing my aunt, who lives in Baulkham Hills, managed to get to the game and saw the second half (well, most of it). I had a short chat with her after the game before we had a end of season BBQ.

The team has scheduled an end of season drink, at the Rosehill race course on the 27th. There's a little bit left in the kitty for a round or two...

So, this season I played in 16 of 17 matches (not including the two trials, which I also played in), had 13 games in goals, and the other three up front. I thwarted 104 attempts on goal all up, I faced two penalties, my head was targeted four times (was kicked in the head twice, nose and right ear – the latter actually cut me, got a forearm across the forehead, and stopped a fierce header from point-blank range which hit me square on the nose), most likely was MVP once during the season (at least), had one clean sheet, was only injured once during the regular season (right calf), and quite possibly had more game time than anybody else on the side. Only one other player in the team played in as many matches as I did. Not bad considering that I had to travel from the Central Coast, either by car or by train.

As for the team, 4 wins, 1 draw, 12 losses, 1 wash-out. 34 for, 60 against (all but 8 were put past me). Finished 8th, ten points ahead of the last placed side. There would have been two sides below us, but one team was kicked out of the competition after they forfeited too many games.

Will I play again? You bet! It has been very beneficial for me. Though I have been carrying niggling injuries for most of the season, I have maintained my weight, and have felt myself getting fitter. Mentally, well, it is helping, as it gave me something to look forward to in the week, allowing me to focus on something else for a few hours. Socially, it has been good, seeing I have met a pretty decent bunch of blokes all united to kick the ball around on a Saturday afternoon.

To change theme, I've been meaning to add a few comments about the book that I am currently reading, and have almost finished. Good Soldier Svejk has been a rather enjoyable story. It is refreshing to be able to read of the trials and tribulations of a Czech soldier serving in the Austro-Hungarian army in the decline of their empire in World War One, providing an alternative view of that great conflict. The fairest comparison that I can make, is likening this tome to Spike Milligan's war-time recollections, both in humour and content. It is a shame that the author, Jaroslav Hasek, died before completing this series of books planned on his wartime experiences.

Svejk's ramblings though can be a bit off-putting, seeing some have a tendency to go on for over a page. However, most of them are entertaining, and contained some relevance to the overall tale. Here is but one example (one of the shorter ones) of his “words of wisdom”, when he was under arrest for being involved in a melee, after he carried out a rather delicate mission on behalf of his womanising senior, Lieutenant Lukas.

'To put it in a nutshell,' said Svejk, 'you're in a jam, but you mustn’t lose hope. It can still change for the better as the gipsy Janecek said in Pilsen when in 1879 they put the cord around his neck for double robbery with murder. He was right in his guess, because at the very last moment they took him away from the gallows, as they couldn't hang him, owing to its being the birthday of His Imperial Majesty which fell on the very same day when he ought to be hanged. And so they hanged him the following day after the birthday had passed. But just imagine the luck that bastard had, because on the third day he got a pardon and his case had to be taken up again, as everything pointed to the fact that it was another Janecek who had committed the crime. So they had to dig him out of the convicts' cemetery and rehabilitate him in the Catholic cemetery at Pilsen. But afterwards it turned out that he had been an evangelical and so they transferred him to the evangelical cemetery. And after that...'

'And after that you'll get a sock on the jaw,' said the old Sapper Vodicka. 'The things that bastard thinks up!...' (p381)

There has been quite a wonderful collection of support characters. A volunteer, who was in jail with Svejk for a time, who in civilian life was a editor for a wildlife journal. He invented quite a number creatures which he wrote colourful stories about in the magazine. Then there's the cook who is part mystic, part philosopher. A big knuckle-head known as Baloun, who has a voracious appetite and once got his head stuck in a cauldron which he licked clean. An old Czech soldier that had a hatred for Hungarians and would attack them at every opportunity he could get, most often by attaching his bayonet to the end of his belt and swinging it around. Lieutenant Dub, who was constantly trying to get Svejk up on charges. An alcoholic priest, who Svejk served as his batman.

I could go on about the characters. But there are other things I could off comment on, such as some of absurdities of military hierarchy, government bureaucracy in general, naturally the futility of war (a universal theme – in this tome's case Svejk makes references to how the decaying bodies of the fallen will enrich the soil for farmers, and that their bones will be pinched for various purposes), and that soldiers of all nationalities got up to some pretty weird stuff behind the front lines.

One example, about internal security, I'd like to mention. It relates to a police sergeant not long before he meets Svejk after he is arrested on suspicion of being Russian spy, after he got left behind at a station when the regiment moved on by train.

The Austrian Ministry of the Interior invented the following grades for unshakable loyalty to the monarchy: I.a, I.b, I.c, II.a, II.b, II.c, III.a, III.b, III.c, IV.a, IV.b, IV.c. The last fours in Roman figures meant, in conjunction with 'a', treason and the gallows, with 'b', internment, with 'c', 'keep under observation and behind bars'.

In the sergeant's desk were all sorts of printed papers and lists. The government wanted to know what every citizen thought about it. (p259)

Svejk has had quite an eventful journey. He was arrested on charges of sedition at the start of the book, then rounded up to serve in the army (for a second time), was the batman for an alcoholic priest and a womanising officer, before becoming a supply clerk for the battalion. Prior to that though, he was left behind, went for a wander around the country side which lasted three days, and was put in the stockade after he returned to the unit. Currently, as the unit was getting closer to the front, he was being sent forward to find billets for the company. On this occasion, however, he had come across an escaped Russian prisoner bathing in a lake. The prisoner took off, leaving his clothes behind, and Svejk, for whatever reason, decided to try them on. At that time, a Hungarian patrol looking for some escaped Russian prisoners appeared and he was taken prisoner on the pretence of being an escaped Russian soldier. At this time though, he managed to convince a Hungarian Major that he really was a Czech soldier in a Russian uniform, but the officer decided that he actually was a Czech deserter who was now spying on behalf of the Russians. He is currently in yet another lock-up.

Svejk passed a quiet night, because the mice had made no great demands on him and obviously had their own programme for the night, which they celebrated in the store room next door. Military greatcoats and caps were stored there and the mice bit through them with great confidence and in great security, because it was only a year later that the quartermaster's office remembered to introduce into the military stores crown-property cats without pension rights, which were entered in the administration records under the heading: 'Imperial and Royal military store cats.' The rank of cat was in fact only a revival of an old institution which had been abolished after the war of 1866.

Earlier, in the reign of Maria Theresa, cats had been introduced into the military stores in wartime , when it was on the wretched mice that the gentlemen from the administration were blaming all their fiddles with uniform.

But in many cases the Imperial and Royal cats failed to do their duties, and so it happened that once in the reign of Emperor Leopold six cats which had been assigned to the military stores at Pohorelec were hanged by the verdict of a court-martial. I can imagine that on that occasion all of those who had had anything to do with the military stores laughed smugly in their sleeves... (p684-5)

I really could go on about this book, because it really is a wonderful read. But it is getting late and I need to go to bed at some point. I will finish this when I get back home tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY, 17th AUGUST.

Well, it's after 4pm and I'm home, after stopping off to grab some supplies, and pick up some odds and sods from the Reject Shop in Gosford. This one has a large assortment of Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill movies for sale (which I used to love as a teenager) but surprisingly had a couple for $5 each that were worth picking up – Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby, and James Woods in Salvador. I couldn't really say no to those. Sometimes it's worthwhile just having a little peek in the DVD section of discount stores. Every now and then one finds a gem or two.

It was good that my sister dropped me off at Wyong station, very conveniently five minutes before the next Gosford bound train showed up. She even gave me money to cover my fares, and offered to transfer more even though I was happy enough with the tenner. I was glad to get away from Gosford for a day-and-a-half, spend some time with family and just chill out. Babysitting the nephew and niece was almost trouble free. I only had to raise my voice once.

Gosford, well, it's dreary and raining and doesn't look like getting any better. Gwandalan was the same when I left. I aim to fix something hot for dinner, and relax and watch TV and/or DVDs. SBS has a variety of news shows on in the afternoon from 3.30 to 5.30pm, which satisfies my needs for world affairs. I find it's good background stuff whilst I'm working on something else.

I'm also appreciating DIG radio as well. If I'm at home, it gets put on for an hour or so in the morning. The format is great – just music, and a good mixture as well. It's like listening to JJJ for 40-somethings. I have been surprised by hearing songs that I know, and have been going online to find out the titles of songs that I liked. At some point, I'll download them if I can.

Well, I think I'll wind this post up here. I can pack some gaming stuff for tomorrow, as well as continue on the Springfield Horror project. Every time I tell myself that I have enough pictures and items, I always seem to grab a few more...

Ciao!

P.S: Yeah, I knew there was something nasty waiting for me in the mailbox. The phone bill, the credit card statement, and a notice from the real estate telling me that rent is going up again, by $10 per week on the 21st of October. Gees, that's another $20 a fortnight I won't have. At least there was confirmation that the tax return was deposited into the account.

P.P.S: My aunt very conveniently snapped a pic of me during the last home game of the season on August 6th. Love that bright green 'keepers jersey!

1-9

2011-07-31T17:35:00.003+10:00

Against the competition leaders this afternoon, we were thrashed 1-9. We were coming off a win yesterday, 1-0 over the other North Rocks team in the division. Our opponents had a game scheduled yesterday, but won on forfeit (against the same side we won on forfeit to).

Coming off a blinder in the Round 14 match, the Round 16 match yesterday saw me playing on the wing. I played around 35 minutes of the game, absolutely exhausted by the time I came off. I played out of goals due to a request that one of the players, who was suffering from a chest infection, wanted to play, but couldn't really run. So I obliged.

However, today, in the make-up Round 10, it was a contest for around 20 minutes, when we had matched their early goal. After that, the dam didn't just burst, it exploded. All sorts of excuses could be made, from being tired after yesterday's match to we're playing in the wrong division (that much is obvious).

Me? I'm absolutely shattered. It's a thankless task being a goalkeeper. I'm everybody's best friend when the game is tight and I'm keeping them in the fight, but when nine get past me, nobody wants to know you.

And though playing soccer is helping with my health, it is not helping my mental health. At the moment I am absolutely miserable, and I can't keep all the bad thoughts at bay. What also doesn't help is that the injury I suffered in the Round 4 match seems to have flared up again.

What I want to do, is play out the season. There is only two more games to go. (Well, three, but seeing Round 15 was completely wiped out by the weather, they may very well write that round off.) After that, well, we'll see.

I estimate (conservatively) today that our opponents had about 40 attempts on goal. Of those 40, I checked 19 of them, my busiest day this year. (Yes, I kept count.) Of the remaining 21, 14 were off target. The remaining 7 were goals, two were own goals and another one came off a deflection from a defender. And before you ask, the other two goals came from terrible bounces from hopeful balls through.

Doesn't matter the first goal was scored by a bloke who was clearly offside. I had to charge at him because he got through the defence. The ball brushed my right side on the way through. The next two I could do nothing about, even at full stretch my dives were for naught. Goal four, well, a bad bounce. Goal five, again, poor defence, and the thunder bolt ripped into the back of the net in the narrow gap between me and the right hand post. At half-time, there was no coming back, and it soon became six to one against just after the break from the first of two own goals.

Number seven, bad bounce, but I had thought I knocked it clear before it had crossed the line. Number eight, second own goal, the defender helped it into the back of the net to my right after I had gone to my left for the shot. Number nine, yeah, another thunderbolt, with me face down in the bloody turf again wondering what I had done to piss the soccer god off.

A lot of my better saves were in the second half, when the game was lost. I lept high for a corner kick that was dangerously curling in to the top left corner. Dived at full stretch to knock a couple past the post. Caught another one that was curling in from the right. Rushed out of the box to kick a ball into the next suburb when the defence had been broken yet again and the opposition was haring down on it. (It was outside the box.) All this on top of some similar saves in the first half.

What more can I do?

Forget that it ever happened. That's about it. Starting tonight with a feed, a drink, and some telly. That's about all I can do.

As it turns out, with the recent changes to the make-up games schedule, I may be able to get to Eucalyptus Bowl after all for the second day, depending, however, if the washed out Round 15 match goes ahead or not. I guess I won't know until later this week.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have dinner. Ciao.

Winter of my discontent

2011-07-27T19:40:00.003+10:00

Well, alone again at home, but at least it's nice and cozy.

It has been an indifferent sort of day. For three-quarters of the day, it didn't know whether to be fine or overcast. The overcast option was finally taken, and with that, the rain came as well. Not much, a couple of millimeters or so, but enough to make the winter's day just a little more colder.

Me, well, I couldn't care less to be honest. I didn't really want to go outside at all today, but sort of forced to seeing I'm almost out of bread. I'm also almost out of the other bread too, having pocketed what was left in the account in my wallet yesterday. I only got paid the previous Friday. So guess what I'll be doing for the rest of the fortnight? I'll give you a clue. Two words, second word is "all".

It has been a winter of discontent all right. I have never been broker since I moved over to East Gosford. Six weeks of having all the money gone well before the second week in the fortnight has started. Bills & rent. Most of what was left went to food. At least there is something to eat. If I don't go anywhere I should be fine. There's enough to grab essentials (like more bread - lol) and at least get me to Morisset and back twice.

But it really has been miserable, financially, meteorologically, and socially. With all the wet weather, soccer was called off last weekend. At the start of the month, we played two games in two days. Now we've played one in three weeks, seeing we've had a forfeit as well. Next weekend, we have two games in two days scheduled again. This means that I will not be attending Eucalyptus Blood Bowl tournament this year, not even for one day. My priority this winter has been to the round ball code, and seeing I had been given the responsibility as the last line of defence, I've taken it seriously. Besides, I have slotted into the team quite well. My efforts on the pitch have gained me some respect, and not just in the team I'm playing for. They're a good bunch of people, and I fully believe I made the right choice to play this year, despite all the heartbreak, the injuries, the extra expenses and the traveling.

The soccer, apart from being my regular exercise (both physically and mentally) has also been my major social function as well. Without it, and the trips to Morisset, I would have nothing, seeing I'm not gaming anymore. It's not because I don't want to game, just can't find anyone to game with. Time is also a problem. Saturday's at the games' store is the only day things are on that I'm interested in. Guess what I do Saturday's? I don't even see anybody locally these days, not even those outside gaming circles.

But I did do something different last weekend. I actually went to an NRL match, the first one I have attended since August 2005. The rain held off so that Souths could play the Warriors last Sunday, with the visitors thrashing their hosts 16 - 48. Souths, I must say, were lucky to get the 16. The Warriors should have won by a lot more. Even their junior side was way too good as well.

So, has league changed much in the last six years? Nope, not in the slightest. The game was quite predictable: Left, right, kick. Grind, grind, kick. Scrums, that even 12 year-olds have commented that are a waste of time. The home side fans booing the referees at half-time because they feel their side has been dudded. The home crowd booing the opposition goal-kicker because they can. The home crowd leaving early as the scoreboard ticked over regularly in favor of the visitors.

There were a few things that amused and bemused me. The first was the pre-match hype. There was montage after montage of Souths busting up opposition to loud thumping music. Then there was the introductions. Video of each player and the coach, walking through a steel door, punching/slapping/elbowing a button, which causes their name to explode onto the wall beside them. To be honest, I couldn't even recall if the Warrior's team was even announced.

The effect? With the home side coming off a nail-biting narrow win over eternal rivals Easts last week, they were "pumped" and so were the crowd. After five minutes they were down 0 - 6. After ten, it was 12. By halfway through the first half they were down by 18 and they never recovered. They dropped the ball often and at the wrong end of the pitch, their defence was about as reliable as a leaky bucket catching rain at times, and they showed hardly any imagination in attack at all. It appears, they had used up all their efforts last week to take care of their local rivals.

The half-time entertainment, well... I commented to my mate Rod, who had shouted me the ticket to the game (benefiting from a 2 for 1 offer) that "If I was on acid, this would be really, really good." What it was, was about twenty-four people, all dressed in different coloured body-suits, clad from head to toe, dancing, prancing about the field, bouncing giant rubber balls, bouncing off giant rubber balls, all in the name of promoting "the gym used by Souths". Anyone passing by would've probably mistaken the activity taking part on the pitch as some sort of avaunt-garde arty performance piece. Hardly the half-time entertainment the fans would have been expecting...

Gees, give me kids running about on shortened fields throwing the ball about. Give me a goal-kicking contest. Give me some local cover band playing badly for ten minutes or so. Sigh.

Strangely enough, my trip home was considerably quick. My train left Olympic Park station at 4.12pm. I arrived at my front door, after stopping off at the shops for some Tim Tams, at 6pm. Not bad eh?

So, apart from rain, an occasional match of soccer, what else have I been up to? Not much. The TV has been on quite a bit. I've watched a lot of DVDs, and have started listening to some H P Lovecraft audio books. (I downloaded a swag of stories, pictures, role-playing stuff and audio the other day and burnt the audio stuff onto a DVD.) I've also been working on my latest project/time-waster. A board game. I acquired a wonderful program that allows me to customize pieces of the marvelous Arkham Horror board game. My version? Springfield Horror. It has been a tiring process, especially trying to find images. Creating the template of the board was the easy part. Putting it all together and creating hundreds of playing cards... I find though, I am only limited by my imagination, and at times my imagination knows no boundaries!

As I said, time-wasting, or time-occupying (a nicer way of putting it). It's been rather successful in distracting me, keeping my mind concentrated on something constructive rather than dwelling on my problems. I'll post some pictures of the project when I get a chance.

Anyway, time to finish this up, and go attend to dinner. I have to eat at some point. Ciao!

P.S: Sorry, I'm honestly sick and tired of hearing about Amy Winehouse and Cadell Evans. I was disgusted when SBS decided that Cadell Evans just about to win the Tour de France was the most important news item in their broadcast on Sunday, considering there was a massacre of teenagers in Norway and bombings in the capital Oslo. Not only did we have three minutes of Cadell being hailed as the greatest Australian sportsman ever (pardon me for over exaggerating) at the start of the broadcast, but gees, another three minutes of it during the sports news! Grrr!

And for the recently departed? I am reminded of a ditty called the "Ballad of Kurt Cobain" (one of Dennis Leary's I think). I've amended it a little.

I'm drunk, I'm high, I'm nobody
I'm drunk, I'm high, I'm famous
I'm drunk, I'm high, I'm dead

I didn't like her music, and I'm not a big fan of cycling.

P.P.S: Has anybody else noticed that the logo for next year's Olympic Games looks like Lisa Simpson performing a sexual act on her brother Bart?

MVP

2011-07-17T13:39:00.002+10:00

My last post was composed on a wonderful sunny winter's day. Today, the sky is overcast, it's been raining, and I have as much desire to step outside as a sloth would give up it's slothing.

My mood is fine. I've been really lazy today, not getting out of bed until 9am, playing Age of Wonders: Shadow Magic (just love the randomly created maps) until 11am, then surfing the net since then, interrupted only by a shower whilst I was downloading some stuff. I've also been indulging myself with some nibbles throughout the day as well. I don't do it that often I should point out!

Yesterday though, another loss, but a game that could've easily had a different result had a) we had had a competent referee and/or a linesman, b) our main striker had been on target and c) we had a substitute. As it was, we managed to field a full team, but with probably three players still carrying injuries, or playing under the effects of viruses. Our team captain, who had been sidelined for the better part of two months, made his return to the pitch despite being nowhere near 100%. It was terribly frustrating, that we have 20 players registered for the team, but only 11 could take the field yesterday.

But gees, we gave them a great run for their money. A team with an average age of 35 taking on a team who'd be lucky to have a player aged 35, put up a great fight. I would almost say that it was our best effort for the year, especially since it was against the side running second in our division. The final score was 1-3 (half-time 1-2), but if you take into consideration the second goal was scored as a result of a blatant handball (the ball hit the goal-scorers lower arm, dropping nicely to his feet and he buried it) and their third from a player being offside, plus our striker missed a penalty and a one-on-one opportunity against the keeper, well...

And yours truly had, what the majority of the team commented after the game, the best game of the season. I wasn't arguing. I had felt like, to coin a popular analogy, I was "in the zone". Despite the loss I came off the field fully satisfied that I had completely frustrated the younger opposition, with all of their goals coming from an element of luck rather than good shots. The first of three goals, I should add, was struck hard, and despite having got both hands to the ball, it still went through, hit the underneath of the crossbar, and went in.

Every one-on-one challenge I had to meet, I succeeded. Twice kicking the ball away from the attacker after a long touch, once falling on the ball after a long touch, and forcing a fourth shot to go agonizingly wide. I had great back-up though. Twice, after having to go out to meet opponents, their shots were blocked and cleared off the line by defenders. On a third occasion they even had an empty net to shoot at, but dawdled and the ball was taken by a defender. I stopped three long shots, which posed no real challenge (though one did spill from my hands, but I recovered quickly) and a fierce header from point-blank range, which smacked into my nose, knocking me down, but I was able to get up on my knees and scramble to the ball, fumbling the ball over the goal-line for a corner. My team-mates were quite obviously impressed with the save. On asking me if I was okay, I responded "nothing like a ball in the face to wake me up".

A fair estimate of goals denied for yesterday stands at thirteen, which brings my season tally up to seventy-five. It was my busiest game this year, and, I must say, probably the best game that I have ever played. The common comment directed towards me after the game was "man of the match".

Naturally, this has pleased me no end. I was quite chuffed that my efforts were recognised by all of the team, and even some of the opposition. It's a pity there weren't more of the team there to see it.

We may be running third last in our division, but gees, the results don't reflect it. We have been a match for every side this year, failing due to a lack of substitutions, injuries, referring blunders, and, it must be said, inevitable defensive blunders. The team played it's heart out yesterday. At one stage we were down to ten men, with one of our players having to leave the field, clutching at his wrist. After a few minutes he came back on, and played on.

Next week, a home match against the team running last in our division. A win would be nice. A few goals knocked off the differential would be even better!

Ciao.

Lovely day for July

2011-07-11T14:20:00.003+10:00

Actually it's a lovely day in any season. Not too hot, not too cold, birds are chirping, there are no school buses tearing up and down the street, no screaming kids, and even the neighbors are quiet.

Sigh. Why can't all days be like this one. It has been a tough day though. Sleep deprived yet again, had to get up early for a C/Link appointment, then stick around in Gosford for three hours until I had my second one. Three hours is way too long to spend in Gosford without rolling dice.

So, what hoops did I jump through today? First appointment, standard - ten minutes waiting, one minute at the desk. Have you been attending your appointments? (What appointments? I've been on an exemption for the last three months.) Have you filed any more medical certificates? And so on.

The second appointment though was more productive. It was for my Job Capacity Assessment. I finally got the appointment whilst I was on the train coming home from Morisset last Friday. It was far better than what I thought it would be. My interviewer had been briefed by my psychologist, and things went well. I now have another exemption until October, but more importantly, I'll be changing Job Network Providers, which was her recommendation.

So, with a heavy heart (sarcasm), I wandered down to the Salvos after stopping off at Woollies for milk and celebratory Tim Tams (on special for a ridiculous $1.50), and informed them that I'll have another exemption, and will be removed from their system. It means I will be going to one that will be individually tailored, rather than group tailored.

Then I calmly waited for a bus, and headed home. It wasn't all bad. I had a nice sit in the sun, read, made some notes in my journal, did a couple of exercises that my psyche recommended, had lunch, wandered around a bit, but I must say that I was quite happy to get on the bus and out of there. Gosford at the best of times is still creepy.

Soccer. You will be pleased to hear, that we won our second game of the season on Saturday. It was the easiest of wins, as our opponents didn't even bother to show up. With no notification of a no show, their club will be fined, and we get credited with a 3-0 win. We also leapfrog them on the table. Of course, we would've preferred to play, seeing we probably could've beaten them by more than three, but we were happy to take the points, and have a game of 7-a-side instead, then a beer afterwards.

So that's where I'm at at the moment. Stable, in moderately good spirits, and in the mood for a little afternoon nap, even though it might mean problems sleeping again tonight.

Meh. Hello couch. Ciao!

First attendance at the support group

2011-07-07T17:30:00.003+10:00

You really have to like when one of your favourite "luxuries" is on special at your local supermarket. I'm talking about white Tim Tams. I find them so irresistible at times that I could quite calmly go through a pack in one evening. Needed some bread for sandwiches tomorrow, passed through the biscuit isle and saw the ridiculous price, and thought "Sold!". I would've brought more had it not been the end of the fortnight and I barely have enough to get to and from Morisset tomorrow.

I've earned my treat. I got the laundry done (thanks to a mate's grandparents) on Monday, had it all dried on Tuesday, and then just lolled around on Wednesday, without much desire to do anything more than just watch a DVD or type up some stuff for a project that I've been working on and off for a few weeks now. It has been cold, and once again I find myself awake at odd times again during the night. Breakfast, I find, is usually now around 5am. This morning, to break the routine, it was around 9am, seeing I got up to watch the Matildas play Norway in the women's world cup in Germany - a task made more worthwhile because the Aussie ladies won and went through to the quarter-finals.

But every day this week, I have crashed after lunch, napping on the couch for at least two hours. It has been cold, so, seeing I don't have a heater, I wrap myself up in a blanket. Thing is, I get cozy, warm, and just nod off. The good thing is, I haven't had much problem going to bed afterwards. It's mainly just trying to stay asleep for more than four hours at a time.

But this week hasn't been a total loss. Today I took the step of attending a mental health support group in Gosford. It's run by the Schizophrenia Fellowship, and it's for all mental health problems, not just for Schizophrenia. It's also for both carers and "consumers", which is a nice way of describing oneself. It wasn't one of these support groups where I had to introduce myself, and say why I was here, and talk about my problems. It was structured like a formal meeting (with minutes of the previous meeting), with a guest speaker (today's one spoke a lot about anxiety disorders, which is something I'm quite "familiar" with), and time for a cuppa in the middle of the meeting. I did have a chat to another gent there, and realized that I wasn't the only one with these problems, though some it seemed had it worser than me. My problem is that I have a lot of these problems - going through the list of anxiety disorders I found myself ticking most of them off. It isn't just one thing - it's several.

Would I go back again? Of course. I need to expand my social circles, even if it is just a once a month meeting for people in the same boat as me. They do organize social outings, though unfortunately, the one planned for next month will be on a day I'll be playing soccer. Grrr.

Which links it nicely to recent efforts on the pitch. We had two games over the weekend, strangely enough against the same team! Saturday's game was our Round 12 match, and Sunday's game was our rescheduled Round 3 match. We were beaten on both occasions. On Saturday, with me in goals, we lost 1-6. On Sunday, with me making a guest appearance on the left wing (got the times stuffed up, and we arrived just in time for the second half). We lost 1-3.

I was able to handle yet another thrashing. With the possible exception of the fourth goal, there really wasn't much I could do about them. Goal one came from an early one-on-one challenge, which had just slipped through the defence. (I can proudly say that was the only one-on-one challenge that succeeded - I stopped the other four, mostly by timing my run to when the oncoming player had made a long touch, allowing me time to race forward, and dive on the ball.) Number two was another defensive lapse, with a shot from a fair distance (the player should've been shut up), screaming past my lunge on the right hand side. Goal three was our first own goal of the season - coincidentally scored off the back of the gent who transports me to each game! (I though it was going out, but the deflection squeezed past me, even though I was almost on the right hand post.)

So, three down at the break, and once again I found myself not having touched the ball until after the first two had gone in. (Third time this year that this has happened.) I recall that my first stop was a powerful drive low to the left, the second I tipped over the bar, then I think came a couple of one-on-ones. I know by half-time, I had already thwarted six attempts on goal.

And it was six more in the second half. My busiest game all season. Eighteen chances our opponents had, and they got six of them. The only way I can look at the games now is by how many DON'T go in. My season tally of stops is now at 62. The fourth goal was almost 63, as I got both hands to it but it was hit too hard for me to stop. We actually got one back at this stage, and were looking reasonably good. Goal five pretty much snuffed out any comeback, and it was a hard drive low to my right, which I couldn't do anything about, though I did get a hand to it, but not enough to stop it. The final one, not long before the full-time whistle, came from a throw-in, where the ball was played to a gent just inside the box. It was a deft shot high to my right, which I leapt and got a hand to, but it went in instead of over and I was left in a pile in the back of the net.

Sunday's match was an improvement. A different keeper in goals, and learning that the position really is a thankless task. When we arrived, the second half was just underway, and it was 1 all. (The opponent's opener apparently was a nutmeg - through the keeper.) Despite the team's best efforts, the opposition got another two and took the game. I couldn't do much in the match, but I did start a scoring chance with a nice little chip over the defence to one of our strikers. It was strange, but good to be actually in the penalty area for a change trying to put one past my opposite number! At least I can say that I have played in every game except Round 7, the only one I have missed this season.

With the rain cancellations, more catch-up weekends will be needed. Another extra game could be scheduled for either July 31st or August 7th. If the latter is the case, then I will not be going to the big Eucalyptus Blood Bowl tournament at all, seeing it's on that weekend. If it isn't, well, I could probably go for day two, not that I really like playing just one day of a tourney.

So, where am I currently? After all the shite of having to get multiple certificates done for Centrelink, in order to get a Job Capacity Assessment, I am still yet to hear from them as to when that will be. The C/Link worker I spoke to at Woy Woy two weeks ago still hasn't called me back, and if she doesn't tomorrow, well then I'll make a note to ask whomever I'm seeing on Monday (yeah, another scheduled appointment) as to when this is happening, seeing I have already gotten a notice from the Salvos that I'll be back in their caring arms on the 18th, four days after my initial exemption has been completed. (Not if I can help it though...)

It's annoying. I have submitted a medical certificate for a further three months, I have submitted a letter from my psychologist thoroughly recommending that I am removed from the current job network system and referred to the disability services. I am waiting on an appointment with a psychiatrist so that my major disorder can be diagnosed, and my psychologist is waiting for that appointment so that she can start assisting me with it, seeing it will take a lot of work.

As it turns out, my first block of six appointments finish next Thursday (14th). She thinks I've made progress. I feel we really have only dealt with just a fraction of my issues. Sure, one of my "habits" has been dealt with, but there are still others to come to grips with. It's sad though, that someone like myself who badly needs psychological assistance can't get enough of it due to the restrictions placed on welfare recipients getting Medicare supported shrink sessions. I'm only entitled to twelve - six fifty minute ones, and six thirty minute ones.

Oh well, one day at a time. That's all I can do.

Finally, was buoyed by two things recently. One, the Mariners managed to beat international visitors Glasgow Celtic 1-0 last Saturday (2nd) in Sydney. The crowd wasn't far off twenty thousand, and from all accounts it was an entertaining game, with a new recruit coming off the bench to score the winner with three minutes left in the match. Also further good news for one of our up-and-coming stars, Amini, signing with German club Borussia-Dortmund, yet still being allowed to play for the Mariners this season. That's a pretty nice deal!

And the second was that the Raiders managed to thrash the Roosters on Monday night, beating them 38-12. The team, it would appear, have turned their season around, and are climbing out of the cellar. Let's hope it continues!

Ciao!

P.S: I forgot to mention that last Friday (1st), I completed my Mental Health First Aid certificate at the community centre. Yet one more thing that I can add to my resume!

Yet another hard day at the office - again

2011-06-25T19:01:00.002+10:00

0-6.

No matter how you look at it, we were absolutely thrashed. I take little solace that again, I prevented more goals from going in than scored against me (ahead by two in those stakes today) and that, goals aside, I didn't have that bad a game.

We dominated the first half, yet we were down 0-3 at the break. The first two were scored from impossible angles - the scorer on both occasions almost on the goal line. (The first was scored after I had deflected a long shot from going in. An opponent got to it first, and it went in off the far post.)

The third one came from bad marking. A cross went in, I anticipated the player who got the ball to shoot, but he passed instead to an open player, and he buried it. The fourth, well, okay, my fault. I should have stopped it. I was nutmegged. First time it has happened this season. (The defence though could shoulder some of the blame - he shouldn't had got a shot off.) Goal five, gees, long ball, player got it on halfway, was past the last defender, and I had to go out to meet him. Despite my run being spot on, he got past me, and had all the time in the world to walk it in. Number six, poor marking, an opponent got a free header. He struck it hard. I got a hand to it but couldn't stop it.

It could've been a lot worse than six. Again I was snatching balls from the feet of players, and was almost kicked in the head by one of my own team-mates. Another one on one situation ended in my favor, when I kicked the ball away from the attacker's feet. He tried on my right foot and went down.

I made nine clearance kicks in the match. All nine of them got to a blue shirt. My kicks were spot on. My frustration at the moment stems from the fact I could clearly see my team-mates moving sluggishly about the pitch, most of the time waiting for the ball to come to them rather than going to it. I saw opportunity after opportunity wasted down the other end. We had more corners than them. By my calculations, we had fourteen chances to score. None were taken. Our opponents had fourteen - six went in. No wonder they're leading the competition.

I couldn't really say anything after the match. What was there to say? "You guys let me down. If you guys aren't putting in the effort, why should I?" Naturally I kept it to myself.

Can't blame player shortage today. We had three subs.

Eight saves though takes my season tally up to fifty. I can't say I'm not making a contribution to this team.

Progress

2011-06-24T13:15:00.002+10:00

Well, the emotional roller-coaster seems to have plateaued at the moment. Things have been restored to a level that I can cope with. With Monday & Tuesday being such downers for me, Wednesday morning was quite stressful, worrying about if this doctor will provide me with a medical certificate or not. Though I was kept waiting for fifteen minutes, he did write up a certificate.

However, he left of details as well. I joked to the Centrelink staffer and my psychologist this morning (who called me whilst I was on the train heading off to Morisset this morning) that between the two certificates I actually have a completed one. So I submitted both.

At the moment, I can't be booked in for a job capacity assessment, as the system is being re-organized, until after July 1st. That's not too long to wait. At first I didn't think I could wait that long, but I'm fine now.

What has been good, is that people in the system, are taking me seriously. It's refreshing (and relieving) that I am finally getting some dedicated assistance for this. Yesterday, the Centrelink staffer I saw at Woy Woy phoned me twice. This morning, the psyche called. It has actually restored a little bit of my faith in humanity.

At the community centre, I have been doing a couple of courses. Yesterday, it was a one day course on being an Accidental Counsellor - i.e. someone that just happens to be on the spot when someone with a problem shows up, and gets to hear about it. Today, it was part three of the Mental Health First Aid course, which I must say has become quite beneficial for me.

Tomorrow, soccer. The prospects are looking not only good for fair weather, but for a decent sized squad to take the pitch. Next week, a double-header over the weekend, to hopefully get a game played that was scheduled back in April. I have to admit, I have been nervously waiting to get back onto the pitch.

Hopefully, in my next post, I can talk about a win! Ciao!

...it's just the depth that varies

2011-06-21T12:23:00.002+10:00

When nothing goes right for me, it tends to go wrong in triplicate, or worse. Yesterday was just another day that I'd rather forget. It had started poorly, with a poor night's rest, but then perked up with the prospect of picking up the medical certificate from the clinic, the accompanying letter from the psychologist, then depositing them at Centrelink to get the ball rolling on the Job Capacity Assessment.

Unfortunately, my GP missed one tiny spot on the form, a "to" and "from" date, and Centrelink rejects it. Great. The GP is away for six weeks, and I cannot wait until August for his return. On the psyche's advice, I contact the clinic, to see if someone else can "fill in the blanks". I have managed to get an appointment with one of the other GPs that I have seen before there (albeit several years ago) to see if he can do it, but it's doubtful.

At the moment, I feel quite miserable, and don't even want to venture outside despite it being such a nice day out. I have just parked myself in front of the computer, and have no real desire to move from this spot for the rest of the day.

Coming home from Gosford yesterday was a trial. I was so close to crying on the way home, I don't know how I managed to keep it in. In the end, I stumbled through the door, had lunch, then went to bed after watching a DVD. (The trip on the way to the train station yesterday was also an effort, as I had the misfortune to be sitting near a single mum, and her kid just wailed for most of the trip in. In my current frame of mind, wailing kids are irritating me severely, to the point that if I can move to another seat on a bus or train, I will. At least I didn't have to pay for the trip in.)

I'm tired, I'm lethargic, I'm miserable. If the GP can't fill the form in tomorrow I don't know what I will do.

Olyroos vs Yemen

2011-06-19T17:31:00.002+10:00

Well, on a wonderful, sunny winter's day, I was able to venture down to my favorite sports venue, and watch the Olympic qualifier between Australia and Yemen. The final score of 3-0 in favor of the home side I think somewhat flattered the visitors, for they were hardly in the game at all. Australian 'keeper Andrew Redmayne I think touched the ball about twelve/thirteen times tops for the match, only really being put under threat twice, in the 74th and 79th minutes.

It was a free flowing match, not brilliant, but entertaining in that both sides were prepared to pass the ball around. Australia had four chances in the first ten minutes, denied by some good 'keeping by the Yemeni custodian, but in the 16th minute, the Aussies took the lead, with a close range goal, that was set up by a beautiful diagonal cross from left to right across the goals, with a header popping it back into the centre, where it was buried into the back of the net.

I really felt sorry for the Yemeni 'keeper. He had a lot of work to do, as the home side defended well, controlling the midfield, then capitalizing on the turnovers. At half-time though it was still anyone's game, and it remained in the balance until the 65th minute, when a great attacking raid down the right flank was rewarded with a good cross, and with two players waiting for it in the centre, the lead was doubled.

The game stepped up a bit then, with both sides running substitutions, and the crowd giving Mariner's favorite Amini a good cheer as he took to the field after 70 minutes. The other Mariner on the pitch, Bozanic, captained the side and had a solid game.

A third was added in injury time to put the icing on the cake, with a lovely through ball struck straight into the left post. The 'keeper almost got to it first, but the striker was just a fraction of a second quicker and cleaned it up. The 2,597 crowd was quite happy about the result, though I was a bit surprised that there weren't more people there, considering adult tickets were only $15, and children's $7, with the entire railroad side grandstand opened up for spectators. Things are looking good for the Olyroos, with the second part of the leg being played up at Newcastle during the week.

Me, well, I took the opportunity to observe both 'keepers in action, and picked up one or two things. Hopefully I'll remember them for the next game on the 25th, weather permitting of course.

Now, I think it's time for dinner. Ciao!

The sun's out, but no match to play...

2011-06-18T09:50:00.008+10:00

Well, it's a beautiful winter's day, both here and in Sydney (apparently). Yet, this week's round has been canceled, due to all the rain we've had this week. On the coast, we've had something like 210mm dumped on us this week, and from what I've read on the weather summaries online, the Baulkham Hills area has received two-thirds of the average rainfall for the month already.

And despite the field that we were meant to be playing still being open for use, the match, and the round was called off due to the fact that most of the other grounds remain closed, including the North Rocks pitch. So, with the sun in the sky, and the sky clear and blue (albeit a bit chilly) the game is off, which makes it three games that have been lost due to the weather and the condition of the pitch.

I'm not surprised. When the match finished in near darkness last Saturday, It felt like I was 'keeping in clay. It was the worst conditions I've played in so far this season.

Still, there's a good side to not playing, it gives my injuries a chance to heal up properly. My calf strain will appreciate not playing this weekend, the little finger on my left hand is still sore, as is my nose (it feels like it has been broken), and that bruise on my left arm still looks yellow and painful.

Ah, the badges of honor on the field of battle! LOL.

Of course, with all the rain, I haven't felt right all week. As the psychologist put it, I was feeling trapped, unable to go anywhere. It was a rotten period. When the rain stopped mid-Wednesday for a time, I grabbed my stuff and headed out, doing some shopping, and spending a few hours at the store to at least be away from home.

Currently though, politics in the gaming circle has reared it's ugly head, and I really don't feel like going into the store, especially whilst the new manager is in. From what I hear from his underlings, it sounds more like a dictatorship than a business. Numbers have been dropping. I have been there for a couple of Friday nights fairly recently (including last night) before heading home, and noticed that only four or five players had been turning up for the Magic the Gathering drafts. Last Saturday, apparently nobody showed up for the event.

Numbers have been like that across the board. Seeing soccer is off, I'll be going in today to play Malifaux (seeing I haven't had a game of it since January) but I'll be only one of two players showing up to play today. Last fortnight, there was only one. Even the regular 40k nights on Thursday has had a decrease of players. I heard only three showed up last week.

One of the remarks made by the casual staff, has been the rule that they are no longer permitted to play games at the store whilst they are working, as, in the eyes of the manager, it sets a bad example. So, Wednesday night, what was he doing? Yup, playing a board game. It seems it's okay for the manager but not for the staff...

But gaming politics aside, on the whole, my mood has improved somewhat for a number of reasons, despite the temporary drop due to the weather. 1) I can actually see blue skies for a change, 2) My psychologist seems determined to actually help me and 3) The staff at the community centre at Morisset (in my section at least) has been quite supportive, even putting me forward for a Mental Health First Aid course, which I must say, has been quite beneficial for me. Not only do I get to learn a few things about mental illnesses, I also get a certificate at the end of it, and something which will look good on my resume. Of course 4) Soccer has also contributed, despite the fact that we have been hammered over the last two matches.

When I say that my psychologist is determined to help, well, that became apparent during the last session. A plan has been created to take care of the one thing which is causing me some distress currently, and that is to get all the paperwork completed for Centrelink, and to get it submitted, so that I can finally break free of the mainstream job network system. I personally believe that being "obliged" to attend all the job clubs, meetings and appointments with them over the last few years has contributed significantly to my current depressive state. If they don't appear to be helping me, and things just keep going round in circles, then why should I put in the effort? I have noticed no difference from being in Stream 1, or 2 or 3 for that matter, that some staff treat you with indifference, and others with contempt. Yes, there are one or two that are sympathetic, and want to help, but they are limited in what they can do seeing they have so many to deal with. This atmosphere, which includes the poor attitude of the clientele as well, is making me feel worse, and I stated on Thursday that when the exemption period is up, if I have to go back there, my downhill slide will start all over again, after two months of a hard fought rise to the plateau.

So, to avoid that, the plan was created. I carried out the first two parts, first obtaining a referral to a psychiatrist, then ringing his office to make an appointment. Unfortunately, I'm on a waiting/cancellation list, which could be 4-6 months. (From what I've heard, he is quite popular.) Phase two now involves getting the paperwork to C/link. That hit a snag when I discovered on Thursday that my GP is going on six weeks leave, starting yesterday. However, my psychologist did very well to get the paperwork completed by him before he departed. All I have to do now is pick it up from the clinic in Woy Woy and sign for it, then take it to C/Link. That I plan to do on Monday.

When that is submitted, the next phase will be to have a Job Capacity Assessment, where I should be transferred out of the current Job Network, and into the Disability Employment Service (I think that's what it is called), where I can get some more suitable assistance.

Things are looking better. The light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train...

Anyway, I must dash, as I have things to do before heading into town today. I want to get out seeing the weather is quite pleasant. Ciao!

Yet another hard day at the office

2011-06-12T08:29:00.005+10:00

It is strange, that we have twenty players registered for our team, yet yesterday, we could only get ten on the paddock. We had to rely upon the services of two players from another grade to field a full team, who had just played in the previous match on the pitch. Of those ten who showed up, two were carrying injuries, so effectively we had only eight fit bodies to put on the pitch, including myself, even though I'm still getting over a calf strain from the second league match back on May 7th. (I would state for the record that I am at 99% - it hardly bothers me at all now, except in the mornings, and when I'm walking uphill.)

Our main problem, is of course, injuries. Three players that were registered to play for us have sustained injuries that have ruled them out for the rest of the season. There are two or three others that were unavailable yesterday due to injury, and the rest couldn't play due to various personal commitments.

And yesterday, it was tough. The pitch had been terribly chopped up, and it rained at various times during the match. I took another boot to the face, this time it caught me on the nose as I was retrieving the dregs of a previous save that was fully effected. Purely accidental - the offender as concerned with the connection as much as the referee was. I now have some scratches on the left side of my nose to show where the boot hit.

But it is what one has to expect when playing 'keeper. More often than not, one has to put their body on the line. I am prepared to "take one for the team". Every game is a learning experience for one returning to the paddock after such a long time away from the game. I have to remember a lot of things, including the setting up of walls for free-kicks, where I need to be for corners, trying to anticipate which direction to dive for penalties, when to come out and challenge breakaways (I can say not one got through yesterday), when and where players are and aren't offside, getting outside the line of the goal-posts to avoid having deflections going into the net and so on.

Yesterday though, even though I had another six put past me, I came off the field quite pleased with my efforts. The six goals our opponents scored I could not have done much more about preventing them from going in. We were 0-3 down before I had even touched the ball, then trailed 1-4 at the break. The final score was 2-6, but again, we felt that with two or three reserves, we could have beaten our opponents, whose oldest player on the pitch was 25. Our youngest is 26 - our oldest 47. They weren't exceptionally skilled, but they were young, and had five reserves, which they put on (it seemed) every five minutes.

So, what of the six? The first was yet another penalty, for an accidental hand-ball in the area. I went right, the ball went left. The second came from a break down the left. With our defence in tatters, I had to venture out to try and shut down the attackers options. Unfortunately, he had a companion unmarked in the centre. I couldn't stop the pass and had no chance to stop the goal. Goal three was a carbon copy of goal two. Goal four was, well, almost unstoppable. From a fair range out, the ball was viciously struck, and though I had picked where it was going, it still rocketed in off the post. I was on the ground, in an awkward pose with legs and arms akimbo, wondering how the hell that ball had gotten in.

We had least got one back (after their third) and at times we were finding holes in their defence, and applying plenty of pressure. Again though, we couldn't take our chances like our opponents did. When half-time was called, I was relieved. (For more reasons than being at the rough end of a short stick - I had put my jersey on back to front! Nobody noticed though.)

Again, as with last week, our opponents could only add two more to their tally in the second half. Number five was like number four, except that it was all net. The ball scorched the ground with it's vapor trail, and though I had picked the side (left), it was too quick for me. I was lying on the ground for a few moments afterwards, commenting "How the f--- was I meant to stop that?" to no-one in particular. The final goal was, as our chief defender had commented: "The softest goal scored against us this year". Again, they attacked down the right, and though the player with the ball was covered, he got it to a very chubby gent in the goal area, who was unmarked. I was anticipating a shot, and stepped out to block it, but he passed it instead. My dive was for naught, and the ball was tapped in to an open goal.

But, as in previous weeks, with every goal that went in, I prevented another from not going in. By my conservative accounts, I reckon my tally of stops and goals thwarted sits at around 42 so far this season. Yesterday I pulled off some wonderful saves, including a double in quick succession. The first I dived full stretch to my right, deflecting it onto the post, then managed to scramble to my feet and shut down a second effort which I denied with my right foot. The same appendage prevented a fast break as well, with my timing spot on to kick the ball back down the pitch from a hurried shot. Another was denied with my left not long after, but it was a deflection rather than a kick.

I was mightily pleased with the double effort, and the team was quite impressed. Every one of them congratulated me on a memorable save after the game. The team's captain came up to me an commented how impressed he was with my performance. More than one said that I have improved considerably since the start of the season.

Which is why I wasn't too upset with the drubbing yesterday. I felt that I had had a good game, despite the scoreline. I had demonstrated my worth to the side by my actions, and had put the nightmare from the week before behind me.

So I was in good spirits when I got home yesterday. I was absolutely knackered though, and went to bed early. It still took half-an-hour to nod off though.

So, with the weather outside absolutely terrible, I am wondering if there is going to be a game on Monday. As I said, it rained during yesterday's fixture, and here it has gotten worse, though I do not know what the weather is like currently in Sydney. We have been promised though, if the game does not go ahead, the pair of us from the Central Coast shall be notified first. Personally, I don't mind if the game is called off.

Unfortunately, for myself, trying to get the gear cleaned in time is considerably difficult, now that the washing machine has died on me. I put the washing on before I put the dinner on last night, and before I has started on second helpings, I went in to check on it's progress. There was a horrible electrical burnt smell, and after a few minutes examining the machine, concluded that the motor had died. Thankfully, it had died after having sufficiently cleaned my gear, but before the rinse cycle commenced. I now have a defunct machine to get rid of, and a lot of murky water to bail out.

So, what is happening with my mental health? I now have a referral to a psychiatrist, who lives nearby. Making an appointment to see him though has proved difficult, due to his limited office hours. I do not wish to comment what it is that I am being assessed for, but it is major, but not life-threatening. Life modifying, of course, but I really need to know. The doctor was surprised with the prospective diagnosis when he handed me the referral on Wednesday. It felt more formal to see it in writing.

I have informed only two people of what I could have, as of yet it isn't confirmed, or denied. One is the centre coordinator, the other a good friend down south. I don't intend to tell my siblings until I know for certain. One I should say, is pretty much anti-psychology, thinking it will be just a waste of money and they'll keep me coming back for years. The other is supportive, knowing from personal experiences that they are there to help.

So on Friday, I was given the opportunity to attend a mental health first-aid course at the centre, fully paid for by the coordinator. She felt that it would be of some benefit to me, and I agreed, having gotten plenty out of that first session. I didn't have to do much for the rest of the day, except help a client with typing a letter, and keep an eye on the front office. I got plenty of printing done.

Anyway, time for me to wander off and have breakfast and try and keep warm. Also have to figure out how I am going to get my washing dried before tomorrow. Ciao.

Another hard day at the office

2011-06-05T09:56:00.007+10:00

It was not a good day yesterday.

We had started the season in April with a squad of eighteen, but yesterday, we finished the game with ten players. Not because of a send-off, but through injury. Yesterday we had one substitute. Rod, the gent who got me into playing soccer after all these years, had a calf strain within the first couple of the minutes of the game, and had to limp off. We played with no subs for the rest of the game, and went down to ten men when another player limped off in a heavy tackle mid-way through the second half. By then, we were getting absolutely hammered, and I was envisioning a massacre.

It didn't eventuate - thankfully. The team rallied, adding two goals, to at least even up the second half. Unfortunately, the first half had ended 1-4. The final scoreline of 3-6 was a vast improvement on the first half, and we agreed that with some extra players, we could have narrowed that gap a bit further, perhaps have even won the game against the side running second in our division.

The fact that we got three back does make me feel a little better, but I had six put past me, and four of them could be classed as "soft" goals. On the pitch, if a player makes an error, they may be able to quickly make amends. If I make a mistake, there isn't a hole deep enough for me to hide, seeing my mistake will (nine times out of ten) result in a goal.

Yesterday also demonstrated that the game, like all sports, is a game with many variables, and can come down to a matter of luck, and even inches. The pitch we were playing on (at the Ted Horwood Reserve in Baulkham Hills), was, in one word, shoddy. There was a cricket pitch right in the middle of it, though even covered with rubber matting, was still a hazard for players. The ground, by the time we started our game at 3pm, was already considerably chopped up, and by the time the game finished, I could only just see my hand in front of my face. The field was also quite small, which the home side took advantage of.

I learnt a couple of things yesterday. One, a throw-in can't be counted as a goal (if nobody else touches it) and two, you can't be offside from a throw-in. The latter, to me, is a ridiculous rule, seeing it gives an attacking side too much of an advantage. An opponent did, though thankfully I had presence of mind to come out to stop him, which I did. He reminded me of the rule, and at that stage in the game I felt like force feeding him the ball.

I felt like decking the referee (who wasn't an official one) as well at half-time. He came up to me and said "You do realize they can't score off a throw-in?" Yeah, thanks for telling me after the fact.

Our opponents scored on their first attacking play downfield. The shot, well, it wasn't really a shot, more of a cross that was designed to get a head on it at the end of it for a goal. This time I was on the line, but the ball glanced underneath the crossbar and went in, much to everyone's surprise.

The second goal was, well, one I will no doubt have the occasional nightmare about. To demonstrate the smallness of the pitch, the throw-in went straight in. I know I touched the darn thing, but I was practically on the line, with my back turned to the play. The ball, in my mind, had already crossed the line, which is why I was quite surprised that a goal had been allowed.

We got one back, thankfully. We were finding holes in the opposition's defence, and creating chances. But again, the problem being that we can't finish them. It was costly. I noticed that the keeper at the other end was quite reluctant to dive, and didn't have a strong kick. (I was getting them further down the pitch than he was, and I don't have a strong kick.) He looked good though, seeing most of our shots were either going wide, or practically straight to him.

Down my end, the misery continued. The next goal was, well, very hard to take. The attacker was lining up to shoot from a fair distance, without much pressure on him, and I was anticipating a dive to the left. The shot came through, via a slight touch from a defender, but my dive was a fraction of a second too late, the ball going under me.

The fourth was very annoying. Again, another break downfield, and I came out to meet him. Three weeks ago, against Norwest, my left hand deflected the ball around the goalpost. Yesterday, same situation, but the deflection wasn't enough to stop the ball from going in.

At this stage in the game, I was absolutely devastated. Four-one down, and no amounts of consolation from team-mates was going to pep me up. What little confidence that I had going in to this game was gone, and I really wanted to chuck it in and call it quits.

And the hiding continued after the break. Goal five came from a scramble in the goal area, with an attacker being open to head the ball straight in. Goal six came from yet another attack. I had lunged at the initial shot, and stopped it from coming in, but could only deflect the ball away. With me still picking myself off the turf, an opponent's boot got there first, and the game was looking very hopeless indeed.

Rod had moved from the bench to stand behind the goals during the second half. I commented to him "I really can't take any more of this". With some encouragement, I somehow got through the rest of the game. Our opponents could've added a seventh, but the diving header smashed the ball into the clay, and it bounced clear over the goal.

With every shot that went in though, I at least denied one other opportunity. I can recall a good dive or two to stop shots, coming out to thwart another attempt, but mostly the shots were going wide or high. A direct free-kick cleared the crossbar by a couple of feet at least.

The last quarter of the match, when we had been reduced to ten players, we picked up. The defence tightened, the passing was good, and the opportunities came. Two late goals added respectability to the scoreline, and at the end of the game, I didn't feel so bad.

I must say though, having another six goals put past me does not help my confidence, or my depression. Yesterday, at home, alone, I felt quite tired, miserable, and not really wanting to do much at all. I discovered that I had a lump and a bruise on my arm, on the inside up near my shoulder, though I couldn't recall how that had happened. What I do remember, was an errant swinging arm from an attacker after the ball had been cleared that caught me across the forehead and put me down. The player said it was accidental, but a team-mate didn't seem to think so. Whatever the case, if that had occurred in a rugby league match, the player would've been put on report.

So, how do I feel now? Better. I did manage to get some sleep last night, but again, it was broken. I had gone to bed at ten pm, but couldn't doze off. I turned the monitor around and surfed the net for two hours before sleep finally overcame me, and slept until just after five. There were no vivid dreams like I had been having over the last few days, but again, it took a session in front of the telly to help me nod off.

Outside, the sun is shining. It makes a change to six days of rain and overcast skies, which had really been getting me down. I intend to actually step outside today and go for a walk, but not until I have put out the washing.

Laters!

A quick blurb

2011-06-03T14:35:00.005+10:00

Still alive, still kicking. I'm hoping that I am still kicking this Saturday, seeing I missed the last match (which was lost 3-4) but it is questionable if the game will go ahead, considering all the rain that has been dumped across the coast during the first four days this week. At this stage, the ground is still closed. If it's not on, then my calf strain gets another week to heal up. So, either way it's good. I won't be too upset if it doesn't go ahead.

My Blood Bowl tournament went well. Small in number but high in fun. I only won two games, but then, I wasn't there to win, just run the darn thing. Yes, I was disappointed that I didn't get more people there, but, well, them's the breaks. The people that did turn up was a core group that I get along well with, and it was a worthwhile weekend. Everybody got a prize.

As for my continuing psychologist appointments, we're getting somewhere. There is a lot of stuff coming out in the sessions, but to me they feel too short. I just start getting somewhere and the time runs out. Though I am pleased that she is making inquiries on my behalf, and insists that I get to a pscyhiatrist, as soon as I'm able. I'll be seeing my GP next week, whom she has been in contact with, and will be picking up a referral. Then, it will be a matter of getting assessed, and then submitting the appropriate paperwork with Centrelink.

My psychologist though was surprised that this hadn't been picked up before, by anybody. Me, I'm just glad that someone is listening now, and cares.

Anyway, another quiet day here at the centre is finishing up. So I'm going to wind this up, and get back to Gosford. Ciao.

Such a lovely autumn day

2011-05-23T18:05:00.002+10:00

Well, it was a lovely day to do the laundry. Two loads done, one consisting mainly of my soccer gear, and the other of towels and tea-towels. Whilst I went for a walk (and a sit in a park) in delightful autumn conditions, it dried, thanks to a combination of a staccato of gusts of wind, and the harmony of the sun's rays.

Sigh. A pity, on a day like today, I generally feel more down than up. I sat in the park after browsing through the newspaper and nearly cried. I felt so empty inside, so miserable, despite what turned out to be a gorgeous day. It was with great effort that I finally tore myself off the old park bench that I was sitting on, and proceeded towards the goalposts of one of the soccer fields to stretch my troublesome calf muscle, which seems to respond positively to a thirty second stretch, allowing me to walk home with more of a shuffle than a limp.

At least this weekend I'm resting, seeing my Blood Bowl tournament, the Gosford Gauntlet, is on at Good Games this weekend. I have been looking forward to this, though quite anxious about how many people will be turning up. I'm hoping to get the same numbers as last year, which was 16 from memory. An extra weekend to recover from this niggling injury, so that I can progress through the rest of the season with, hopefully, as few injury concerns as possible.

For at the moment, it has become horribly apparent that 5/6 days rest isn't enough. I don't generally walk too much, usually up or down the street to the bus stop, to the Dark Dimensions store across the road, or, like I did today, to the newsagent and the supermarket, then down to the soccer fields nearby to sit in the sun. Not too much to aggravate it any further, but just enough to get the blood circulating. I really wanted to get through last Saturday's game (21st May) considering what was happening this weekend, and thankfully, I did, though there was a moment or two that I thought I had strained it too much again.

As it turns out, I didn't have to do that much in the last game. The ten players in front of me took a few more chances than what they usually do, and coasted to a pretty emphatic 6-0 win over the bottom placed team in our grade. We could've won by a lot more - twelve wasn't beyond the realms of possibility. I actually started the movement downfield for two of those goals, but apart from that didn't have much else to do. The number of goalkicks that we had for the entire game could almost be counted on one hand. The number of corners that they had was one, and it was in the opening five minutes.

I believed I touched the ball a total of ten times during the game. I only had to do probably four clearance kicks, twice I came out to kick the ball away from the goals, three more times I rolled the ball safely to open players after stopping it, and once I made a spectacular leap to tap a ball back into play that was going out, and would've cost us a corner.

As for direct pressure, well, it only occurred twice, in the last five minutes of the game. The inevitable breakaways, but not of the same quality from the previous matches. Recalling what I had read from a goalkeeping website, I matched the pace of my attackers, and was very pleased to see one go wide and high to my left, and the second go wide to my right. I was very determined to make sure that they weren't going to get a consolation goal.

To me, the nil meant more than the six did. We could've won the game 1-0 and I would've been happy. It could've stayed at the half-time score of 4-0 and I would've been happy. Seeing my opposite number(s) under a lot of pressure in both halves satisfied me, seeing how much pressure I had been under in the previous four games. In one game, our goal difference went from -4 to +2. Not bad for a side that up until last Saturday, hadn't won a game all year.

What the team doesn't know, is that the win meant quite a lot more to me than just the result. With my fluctuating moods, and what has surfaced during the psychologists' sessions, I was needing a win pretty bad to give me some confidence and to make me feel better about myself.

And what has surfaced has, well, given me a little bit of clarity. For an hour or so last Thursday after the session, I was quite at peace with the world, for at last someone was agreeing with me that I have a real problem and was preparing to do so something about it. I was so relieved, it was if a burden had been taken from my shoulders and cast aside. As the session went ahead, she appeared to be going around in circles, and I was getting quite confused. Then, she resorted to fetching a rather large text book, and started asking me questions that were progressing down a particular line. She wasn't going to offer a diagnosis, but her suspicions were confirmed due to my answers.

I won't say just yet what it is she thinks I have, but I will say that it could make a big difference to my life, considering she thinks it is serious enough for me to progress to the next level, and see a psychiatrist. What she also stated, was that I am definitely in the wrong stream in terms of job network provider. I am in need of special support, and being on stream three at your average JNP isn't going to provide it. (As it turns out, she does assessments of this nature for Centrelink as well.)

Of course, my problem now is cost. I don't have the funds to see a psychologist and a psychiatrist at the same time, especially if I can't get any rebate back from Medicare for the latter. My psychologist stated that she will make inquiries on my behalf, and speak to my GP and a colleague of hers as well to discuss further treatment. What she did get me to do was to right a few things down in an exercise book - responses to questions she was posing, and how I was going about to alleviate other conditions that have surfaced.

What I can say, is that I have some bad obsessive compulsive habits. Manageable, yes, they are. The depression though was really only the beginning. If what she says is true, then it is going to answer a great many questions that I have about myself.

I have only told one person so far what the true nature of this malady is. I did post on an anonymous mental health forum what has been suspected, but only directly does one person know. I am assessing though who the next person I shall tell will be, and, at some point, I will need to tell my siblings, and my aunt in Baulkham Hills. At this point, I am not going to tell too many people just yet, until it has been confirmed for certain what it is that I have.

Until that time comes, I must soldier on as best as I can.

Right, I think it's time to get dinner started. Laters!

P.S: I was heartened last week by the news that the Mariners will be playing an international friendly against Glasgow Celtic in July. This, naturally, is fantastic news, and I am seriously wanting to go to the match. It is actually on the same day as our round 12 match, so that will be a busy day for me.

The "joys" of goalkeeping

2011-05-16T17:32:00.001+10:00

Well, it's another consecutive Monday that I'm sitting at home nursing an injured leg. I had made a great recovery, thanks to plenty of rest, and discovering a stretching technique which helped considerably. (Better not forget the Deep Heat as well!) So, not only did I play on Saturday, but I doubled up for the make-up game on Sunday.

Unfortunately the results were not in our favor. Our first game, against Toongabbie (who were, at the time, equal first in our division) wound up a 2-3 loss. It was made more painful by the fact that we had a player sent off, for a deliberate handball in the goalmouth. The resulting penalty had made it 0-2, but, credit to the side, they fought back, scoring the next goal, then adding a second after our opponents had added a third.

Our Sunday game, against Norwest, was very disheartening for myself. We lost the game 1-3, despite having scored in the opening five minutes. It could be said that we were tired after Saturday's torrid match (three yellow cards and a red all up), but then, our opponent's were backing up as well, and only had one sub. We had three. At 1-2, we were still in it, and I was doing my level best to keep the side in the game. But something had to give, and after yet another break downfield, I had to again race out to meet the threat, but the ball was put past me to my left, and the game was gone.

With ten minutes to go however, I went to get an incoming ball, and felt a sharp pain shoot through my calf muscle. I let everybody know about it, but thankfully, I was able to play out the ten minutes to finish up the game. Whether or not I play this weekend remains to be seen, as the calf had swelled up a little yesterday, and I had to walk on the ball of my right foot again. Thankfully though, this morning, after a little stroll around the block to fetch the paper and my pills, then a little stretching, it feels a bit better, and I was able to walk properly (albeit slowly and with a noticeable limp) by the time I got home.

But the games were so, so frustrating, especially when we were in winning positions, or had controlled play for a considerable time, but again failed to take the majority of our chances. The 2-3 loss was more bearable, seeing that we had at least got two back, but yesterday's loss was pretty tough, made almost unbearable by the reoccurring calf strain, and the fact that we had scored first. I find that the goalkeeping position is arguably the most stressful position anybody could play in the side. At times during the weekend's fixtures, I was left staring into the distance as the play was up the other end of the pitch for considerable periods of time. Then, to balance it, my goal was under siege for long periods. Famine or feast - that's the way it goes. My nerves were fraying at times, anxiously waiting for the next attacking raid, sort of like being under siege and waiting for the inevitable assault. In the second game, I have never had to face so many consecutive corners. (Something did have to give - one of the corners curled right in to the far post and the ball was headed in practically on the line.) In the first game, I found myself physically in the thick of it. In the first half I was kicked in the head after retrieving the ball from a break (I sported a nice headache until half-time), and in the second up-ended an attacker going for the ball again, taking it from his feet and he fell right over the top of me. The boot to my head (it felt like I caught the full face of the boot, rather than the toe), drew blood, as I soon discovered a small cut in my ear. I'm assuming it was the laces of the boot that did it. Of course, I couldn't hang onto the ball, and drew a free kick. I was a little dazed and my head rang until half-time as well.

The joys and pitfalls of being a goalkeeper. The last line of defence. It's little consolation that I pulled off some pretty good saves, especially in the second match. I can recall punching the air in delight when I came out to meet an attacker, his kick catching my outstretched left hand, which was enough to see the ball fly past the post by half-a-foot. Another was a hard drive to my left, which I met with my foot and deflected it towards the sideline, and another smacking into my shin guards and flying away to my right.

But my heroics were not enough to earn us victory. As I said in a phone call to my mate Eric last night, you have enough shots on goal, sooner or later one will go in. If you give them enough chances, and regardless if Mike Schwarzer is in goals, or myself, the opponents will score. That's just the way it is.

So, as you can imagine, having ten goals put past me in four games isn't very encouraging. More so that I was injured during the second match and had to be subbed for the first time in my career in any outdoor competitive match, and have had to play the last two games with a considerably restricted mobility. I am looking forward to the break I'll be having in round seven (28 May) seeing that's when my Blood Bowl tournament is on. If I can get through this Saturday's match, against Pendle Hill, then I'll have two weeks to recuperate, rather than the 5/6 days that I have had.

My confidence, I must honestly say, is well down. I was actually quite miserable on Sunday evening, nursing my injuries and feeling so terribly alone. It's hard not to take it personally when you're a 'keeper. The rest of the team may be able to shrug off the loss, but having had to pick the ball out of the net six times over the weekend really got to me. I felt really bad about it. I wonder what my psychologist will say about it on Thursday.

To help me put things in perspective, I figured I should analyze the shots that have registered.

Game 1 vs Kellyville (9 April)
0-1: Attacking raid down (my) right hand side of the pitch. Player came in from an angle, and I stayed on my line seeing a defender was on him. Attacker somehow managed to get the ball around the defender, and it was in the net before I even saw it coming.

1-2: Corner (my) left hand side. Tired marking left a player in position to capitalize on an excellent corner and he made no mistake. (This coming from a near point blank shot on goal which hit me in the chest.)

Number of direct shots on goal stopped/thwarted: at least 8.

Game 2 vs Wenty Waratah (7 May)
0-1: Opposition broke straight down the middle of the pitch early in the game. I thought I had it covered, and raced in to clear the half-hearted shot, but missed it completely. I could have sworn the ball had deviated ever so slightly. Whatever the case, I should have stopped it.

0-2: Attacking raid down (my) left hand side. I went out to meet the attacker, who managed to steer the ball around me to my right. Unfortunately, as I went in to block the shot, my calf muscle was strained, and I couldn't continue to play.

(3-3: Though it didn't involve me, an attacking raid right down the middle of the pitch saw a weak shot trickle in, seeing the replacement keeper pulled a hamstring as he was going in to dive.)

Number of direct shots on goal stopped/thwarted: 1. (Hey, I was only on for 15 minutes!)

Game 3 vs Toongabbie (14 May)
0-1: Terrible pass in midfield deflected off a defender straight to an opposing player, who put another player through, straight down the middle of the pitch. I went out to meet him, but he drilled it past me to my left.

0-2: Penalty, as a result of a deliberate handball in the goalmouth by a defender, after I had deflected a shot which had ricochet back out, and I was still picking myself off the turf. Though I had picked the side the kick was going to, it was still too quick for me to stop.

1-3: Again, another attacking raid down (my) right hand side, after the ball was lost in midfield. Attacker came in at an angle, I went out to meet him, but the ball was fired past me to my left.

Number of direct shots on goal stopped/thwarted: at least 8.

Game 4 vs Norwest (15 May)
1-1: Corner (my) left hand side. A superb corner curled right around at chest height, which was met by an opponent's head.

1-2: A rather soft goal, which came from nothing. I was off my line enough for the ball to sail over my head, bounce, then go in. (I should point out, had I not been recovering from a calf strain, I might've been able to jump up and stop it.)

1-3: Ball lost in midfield saw another attacking raid down (my) right. Attacker fired it past me to my left after I went out to meet him.

Number of direct shots on goal stopped/thwarted: at least 10.

[Should note, when I say thwarted, it refers to one-on-one situations where I forced the attacker to shoot wide or high. Hey, it was a goal stopped!]

When I put it like that, it makes me feel a little better, considering that I've prevented 17 more shots from going in than have actually gone in. So my balance sheet is looking pretty good! (Of course, I don't include balls which just floated or rolled downfield which weren't on target, that I had to stop in order to prevent scoring opportunities. Just direct attempts on goal.)

Unfortunately though, the for and against for our side is 7-11, which is the bottom line. We have played well enough to win every game this season, but have failed, even against a ten man team that managed to draw against us.

I know I'm not just playing this to win, but it would be nice to finish in front of an opponent for a change. A win would give me the boost that I need to get me through winter.

Soccer aside, there hasn't been much else happening. I managed to get some work done on the long-suffering Dark Dimensions website, putting in some content and even adding some pics, just to flesh the site out. It's coming along nicely. Once that's done, I can then do some work on my site. I even updated the toy library's site recently as well, seeing there has been a considerable clean-out in the unit and some toys were thrown out. (Most I should say were donated to the Salvos. Whether they get anything out of them I wouldn't know.) There was a nice little volunteer's brunch last Wednesday (11th) for volunteer's week at the centre, which was well worth going up for. I had a lovely feed of bacon and eggs which kept me content for the rest of the day.

I was though pleasantly surprised when I heard that the Raiders had managed to end their eight game losing streak last Saturday night, by defeating Melbourne, in Melbourne. I believe it was their first win there since 2000. (I might even still have that game on tape... ) It gave me a rare opportunity to "fly the colours" so to speak.

The calf strain, I must say, has kept me home-bound. Rest, as I've discovered, is the best thing for an injury. I've kept off my feet as much as possible today, after having been out earlier. I find the most painful moments usually are when I get up in the morning, where the cold air hits a rather warm calf, causing it to contract and harden up. Even getting up after sitting down for a while is fraught with danger. It still hurts when I touch it, especially at the back of the knee, but I'm confident that I can pull through it and play again this weekend.

After all, sport at the moment is what is keeping me going.

And on that note, I might sign off, so that I can retrieve my laundry from the line. It was a very good day to do it. Ciao.

Gees, I was only on the pitch for 15 minutes...

2011-05-10T15:01:00.004+10:00

Well, we finally did get out on the pitch last Saturday, and again it was another improvement score wise, with the team drawing 3 all with Wenty Waratah in Wentworthville. The fact that we came back from a 0-2 half-time deficit says a lot for the team. However, we were playing against a ten man side, and we did lead 3-2 until the final minute of the game. We also must've had at least fifteen scoring opportunities missed, which could've, well, given us a very huge win indeed.

But there's more. The team only had two injuries in the match - both goalkeepers! My injury was sustained around fifteen minutes into the game, having gone out to meet an oncoming attacker, only to have my right leg go from under me, and the ball into the back of the net for a 0-2 lead to our opponents. At the time, it felt like something had struck me, like a stone, just below the knee, but further examination by myself (then a doctor yesterday) showed no sign of bruising or swelling. Which meant that it was purely muscular.

Whatever it was, I went down like the proverbial sack of potatoes, and when I got up, I went back down again quick smart. I struggled to my feet and tried to walk it off, but walking, as I quickly discovered, was pretty much impossible. The best was a limp. I could only get the ball of my foot down on my right leg, as the pain was excrutiating when I tried to put my whole foot down. I limped off, then was assisted back to the bench by the two subs. All I could do for the rest of the game was just watch.

My replacement had it far easier. Our defence had tightened in the second half, and shots on goal were limited. The balls either went straight to the keeper, or straight out. However, in the last minute of the game, our opponents scrambled an equalizer, which, as quite a few people commented to me after the game, if I was on, I would've stopped. (But then I did concede the first goal in unbelievable circumstances, with me taking a swing at a shot that had little power behind it, missing it completely, falling over and having the ball roll into the net. The ball, it would seem, deviated slightly just before my boot was to connect with it. I honestly should've just fell on it.)

But, like me, the goal saw my replacement down as well, and a third keeper had to put on the green jersey and get in goals. Thankfully, the ball never came his way, as the match finished barely a minute after the substitution.

Three keepers in one game. Gees, who would've thunk it? In my fifteen minutes on the pitch, three shots on goal, two go in (one was well saved), there was a corner, and I cleared the ball out once and I got injured, and substituted for the first time ever in an outdoor match. The trip down from East Gosford had taken ninety minutes.

So, the trip back was a tough one, with my leg complaining for the entire trip. My driver dropped me off at home, which saved me a bit of grief, and just after I slung the bag onto the couch, I grabbed an ice-pack (well, a bag of frozen vegetables really) and strapped it to the afflicted spot.

So Sunday I was house bound, but time well spent as I had the chance to proofread a friends' philosophy thesis. There was no real improvement. The heel would only go down under constant protest from the muscle, so I simply stretched it as much as I could as I lay on the couch watching SBS.

Monday, I hobbled into town, and dropped in at a clinic in Gosford. The doctor wasn't much help - recommending Nurofen for the pain, to put Deep Heat on the wound, and keep the leg up. Gees. So, unsatisfied, I limped off, bought the recommended items (plus some drink, bread and donuts) and headed off to the games store for a game and a chat.

But now, as I think of it, the doctor may have been right. He obviously felt it was nothing too serious. (I was barely in his office for a minute. I waited forty just to get in.) At this moment (late afternoon) I can actually put my heel down with only some mild discomfort. Sure, the muscle in the leg is tight, but I can walk rather than limp or shuffle. This, as you can imagine, is quite encouraging. With a double-header this weekend, and a few players out, I am hoping that my injury heals sufficiently to get back on the pitch, seeing my services are badly needed. (The side really doesn't have a back-up goalkeeper... ) At this stage, I would rate myself a 60/40 chance of playing. The pain initially comes after I've been sitting down for a while. Once I start moving around, it isn't too bad.

Naturally, as you can imagine, sustaining this injury did have me thinking negatively for some time. Last week had been a pretty good week, right up until about 1.30pm Saturday afternoon. I could hardly imagine at the time I was going to get injured at all, yet, in four game this year, I've had to play on one leg - twice. It had made me quite miserable. With all my poor mental health over the years, the one thing that I could say, was that at least I had my (physical) health. Getting injured really hurt, in more ways than one.

I was fearing that my season was going to be quite horribly short, and envisioned myself attending a match on crutches. I often do that - fear the worst. (I keep fearing the worst, then get pleasantly suprised when it doesn't happen... ) I honestly do not want to let the team down, even though I have only been playing for them for just over two months. It's a pretty good team - I haven't felt this camraderie since the days of the Tamworth Wargames club and the indoor soccer teams. More than one person has said to me that this team needs me, and this has made me feel a whole lot better about myself, making me determined to pull through this injury, and my current woes, and contribute to the rest of the season.

After all, I want to be on the pitch when we win!

Anyway, I think that'll do for now. Time to go bring in the washing. Tomorrow, a volunteer brunch at the community centre in Morisset, to celebrate volunteer week. Sure, an early start, but plenty of hot food! Mmmmmmm, sausages....

Laters!

On the mend

2011-05-06T12:42:00.010+10:00

Stage three of my rehabilitation started yesterday, with my first ever visit to a psychologist. It was a first for her too, seeing she had only started with the practice yesterday. She was rather nice, and easy-going. She totally agreed with me that medication alone wasn't going to help, and was pleased that I had made the choice to take the next step to recovery.
It was an interesting experience. I found myself going through quite a bit of personal history, practically from birth onwards. At times I really did struggle to explain myself. My appointments will be fortnightly. Even though I get a fair bit back on Medicare, it's still a slug on the finances. Every minute of the session was worth $2...
All this on top of an earlier appointment yesterday with the doctor to review my medication. A few weeks ago I noticed no change, but now, combined with a lot of recent activity, I have felt quite good about myself. My birthday, rather than having a negative effect, had a positive effect on me. There were plenty of messages on my Facebook page, my mobile phone, and even a few calls. (It's a sign of the times though - I didn't receive any cards.)
Unfortunately, with all the rain, soccer was cancelled again (it would've been nice to play on my birthday), but a training session was organised at a park in Parramatta instead, where twelve players turned up, including a couple that I had not yet met. It was hard for me, seeing I haven't played out of goals for a long time, and the ground was very wet and muddy. The quadricep muscle in my right leg started to sieze up during the second game of six on six, so I played back in defence as often as I could (we weren't using keepers). It's fine now, which is good, considering we'll no doubt be playing this weekend, and have two games scheduled for the following weekend.
A month in-between games though is quite annoying. It means I have to psyche myself back up, seeing the routine has been interrupted. I find myself being in a position of being needed, which does make me feel a little more positive about myself. It's nice to be wanted, and to be part of something.
But overall, as birthdays go, this one wasn't half bad. There wasn't much fuss, though I was able to go out and have a birthday lunch with some friends the following Monday (May 2nd). Tuesday was a trip to Sydney to collect an order of comics and collectable for the Dark Dimensions store (and lunch in Hornsby). Wednesday, an appointment with the dietician, where I learnt that I am now officially under 80kg, and have had noticeable drops in my glucose and cholesterol levels as well. She was quite happy that I am now playing soccer, and now doesn't want to see me for another six months, seeing that I am well on track.
On my return to Gosford (all my medical appointments were in Woy Woy), I managed to catch up with a friend for lunch in town, and collect monies from the sales of the Feudball novel at Good Games in Gosford.
I should add, there are some major changes happening at the store, with the current manager, Tim, resigning and finishing up this weekend. It is extrememly messy business, with a fair amount of cloak 'n' dagger stuff going on, which has left Tim rather upset with his co-worker, and with the chain's management in general. As a result, two local gamers have been employed by the store, with Tim's former deputy being promoted to manager.
I could add more, but I won't. I'll save it for my gaming blog.
In-between appointments yesterday, I had a wander around the peninsula, mainly Woy Woy and Ettalong. I decided on lunch at the Ettalong Hotel (first time I had ever set foot in there) then a movie at the nearby Cinema Paradiso before heading off to see the psychologist.
I must say, it had had a major upgrade since I was last there, now boasting six screens. The cinema had expanded over the top of the market area behind the complex, with room six being dedicated to art house films. I would guestimate that there were fifty seats in the room, making it rather cosy. (I hate to say it, but yesterday I was the youngest person in the room... )
My enjoyment was somewhat sullied by a pair of pensioners talking a few rows behind me at various times, and some late arrivals, one managing to trip up the stairs, creating a short disturbance. Thankfully, the injury wasn't serious.
The movie, the first one I have seen at a cinema this year, was Brighton Rock, a good little crime drama set in Brighton in 1964. I rather enjoyed it.
Today, I'm at Southlake, not in the library, but in the office. This morning I backed up the phone records in the server room on a very, very old machine. I had to fetch an old monitor to use with it (seeing it didn't like the laptops I was trying to hook up to it to use) and some of the pins in the connector cable were bent, so I had to fix those as well. I got there in the end.
Apart from that, not much else to do, except rattle off another blog to kill some time. I'll need to head home in an hour or so in order to collect the Medicare refund (I need that money for the weekend and next week) and grab a few groceries as well.
But I am so looking forward to playing tomorrow. I need to get back out on the pitch.
Cheers!

Jethro Tull and The Fire

2011-04-28T19:32:00.002+10:00

Well, yet another miserable day weather wise on the coast, and I'm at home with no desire whatsoever to anything really constructive. I had planned to do some work on three websites, mine, the toy library's and the one I promised for Dark Dimensions, but to be honest, I don't really feel like it at all. It doesn't help that I woke a few times before getting out of bed at 8.30am (I got to bed at 2.30am this morning - the reason why I'll make clear shortly), then returning around 10am to doze off until midday.

It really is good napping weather, or lying on the couch watching DVDs weather. Easter, apart from Sunday, was mostly rain and overcast skies, and it has continued into this week. It has rained for most of the day, but currently as I type this we have a reprieve. It even rained last night, as I returned home from Gosford station after having an evening in Sydney. I said to myself this wasn't the first time it has rained coming home from there, and it wouldn't be the last time either.

Last night, well, I ticked off something on my bucket list. I really should divide it up to "I really must do", "would like to do, but probably wouldn't get around to doing it", and "if I do or don't it doesn't really matter, but it would be nice if I could". Last night's event would be in the second category, along with a number of other things which I won't get into at this point.

But first, I must mention how I got to be crossing this item off the list. On Monday (April 25th) when I was online doing nothing in particular, a mate messaged me on Facebook. He asked if I would pay $60 for a ticket to go see Jethro Tull on the 27th at the State Theater in Sydney.

Now, I honestly didn't know that they were touring. But sure enough, I check the band's website, and the venue's website and two shows were scheduled for the 26th and 27th. After checking the bank balance, I said yes, I would take the ticket, even though I really can't afford to take it. (I had assuaged my hip-pocket nerve that "F--k it, would we ever get another chance?".) I barely had enough to put the minimum payment for the month on the credit card, buy train fare, and dinner in Sydney.

I got there though, after stopping off at Dark Dimensions, then the Good Games store. (Man, there's some stuff going down there that I can't really talk about. Honestly, it isn't good. I'll say though it was sort of similar to what happened at the Corsairs gaming group last year. Naturally, you'll have to search through the posts to remind yourself, but it's something I won't forget in a hurry. When it has happened, I'll say more.) Dinner was a burger at HJ's around the corner from the venue.

I arrived just after 7pm, and after taking a few moments to let it sink in that I was actually attending the show (and to admire the facade) I entered the building, stopping briefly to pull out my ticket, which was scanned by immaculately dressed and terribly polite ushers. I had to stop every now and again and examine the interior. It belonged to a distant bygone era, and I briefly imagined groups of people in smart suits and elegant gowns milling about before entering the stalls. The entire interior was truly a work of art. The only thing I could compare it to, was the Civic Theater in Newcastle. Both venues, I should add, are without doubt the most stylish venues that I have ever had the privilege to enter.

[Most of the following bit was written on the train coming home from Sydney, around 11.30pm.]

Normally, I'd be quite skeptical about attending a show featuring a 63yo lead singer, but considering it was JT on stage, and the advancing ages of most of the group, I doubted very much that I'd get another chance to see them again. Sure, I would've liked to have seen them thirty years ago in their prime (like my aunt did), but, well, I wasn't a fan then.

I was very much pleased that it wasn't a show where it was a distinct possibility that I'd be the oldest person there. Either side of me were 50yo plus gents (whom I chatted briefly too before the show) but here and there in the crowd there were "young 'uns" who were well and truly born long after JT had reached their peak.

Overall, I enjoyed it. Ian Anderson, though nowhere near as spritely as he once was, was still quite active on stage, walking about with purpose during every track, and clowning about (at one stage pretending to pull a groin muscle). Sure, at times, he was behind the pace with his vocals, and occasionally he sounded a bit flat, but considering his age, he's allowed a little leeway.

But he can still play that flute, which, well, is what I really wanted to hear. Veteran guitarist (and Tull stalwart) Martin Barre hasn't lost it either, and there were moments for the rest of the band to show off their wares as well.

The show started brightly enough with Living in the past, which evolved into Nothing is easy. I was a little surprised, in the first half of the show, to hear renditions of Life's a long song, Up to me, Nursie (a track Ian wrote about his father in hospital, which he told us about before playing) and Beggar's farm. I figured though, with a back catalogue extending back to just before I was born, they had plenty of material to choose from, and it must be difficult at times to pick and choose which tracks to play and keep the audience happy.

I have always liked a New day yesterday, and voiced my approval when it started up. However, the audience was quite ecstatic when the familiar air of Thick as a brick emerged (a shortened version I should add) and I'm sure I wasn't the only one singing along. To me though, Farm on the freeway was the best effort of the first half, and it finished nicely with the delightful "cocktail lounge" (as Ian put it) version of J S Bach's Bouree, a piece, Ian proudly announced, he recently performed with a female American astronaut who was currently orbiting the planet in the space station, which has to be a first.

Part two consisted mainly of longer pieces. The half commenced with a newer piece Change of horses (originally composed to be performed with flute and sitar), and following close on its heels was Dharma for one, which I rather enjoyed. I was very pleased to hear My god (I again voiced my approval quite loudly), and though I have never been that keen on Budapest (I can't explain why), it was still good to hear.

The finale though was the piece pretty much all of the audience wanted to hear - Aqualung. For me, it is still my favourite Tull track, with that epic album still my favourite Tull LP as well. (It was the first Tull album I ever listened to, and I was hooked straightaway.) It didn't take much persuading though to get an encore out of them, and we couldn't have asked for anything more than Locomotive breath, which contained a smattering of Teacher during the instrumental break.

Yes, it was mostly old stuff, but that's what I wanted to hear. I think that's what the majority of the audience wanted too judging by their reactions. It wasn't the best show I had ever seen, and it was far from the Isle of Wight live LP that I have, but it was good enough for me. I was in a much better frame of mind afterwards, which stayed with me during the long, late trip back to Gosford, and during the walk (in the rain I should add) back home around 1am in the morning. It took me an hour-and-a-half to get to sleep.

I hope Ian gets plenty more practice of waking up in the morning, a hobby he confessed that he quite enjoys.

Part 1
Living in the past
Nothing is easy
Life's a long song
Up to me
Nursie
Beggar's farm
New day yesterday
Thick as a brick (short version)
Farm on the freeway
Bouree

Part 2
Change of horses
Dharma for one
My god
Budapest
Aqualung

Encore
Locomotive breath (mixed with a little bit of Teacher)

I had to scribble the song list down in my pocket diary, mostly in the dark. Some songs were scrawled over others, but thankfully (after years of practice - lol) I can read my own writing despite the number of layers there may be.

I wanted to add a little piece about a book I have just finished reading (strangely enough, on the train coming home from the Jethro Tull show). Some of you may have noticed a brief review of a book called The Fire on this blog, which is about the allied bombing of Germany during 1940 to 1945 (by Jorg Friedrich), a subject that I have had quite an interest in. The small blurb I had written about it didn't do this work justice, which is why I felt compelled to add a more lengthier piece.

I must say, I was wholly impressed with this work. It is, without doubt, one of the most comprehensive pieces that I have ever read about World War Two. It is a magnificent achievement, and one which will stand the test of time, as a testament to the wanton destruction that was leveled on the German nation during the second great war.

The overall theme I picked up on, was that the allied forces bombed the German cities not just for some strategic purpose (either imagined or real), but they did it purely because they could. One asks oneself why a city like Dresden, a cultural icon of Europe, was devastated by the RAF and the USAAF in February 1945, with the Russians not that far away. The city had been spared major interest during the bombing campaign for well over four years.

But that was one of the reason why, when on the night of February 13, the RAF hit it, to perform a bombing procedure called "the fan", that they had tried out a couple of days earlier on Stuttgart and Darmstadt. With a carefully prepared ratio of incendiaries to explosive ordnance, 40,000 people were slain in one of the most horrific acts of the war. The city had not been targeted before, because it was being saved for a much worser fate.

By that time, the allied forces had pretty much perfected the art of destroying cities. You start fires, you use the blockbuster bombs and aerial mines to not just take out any barriers preventing the fire from spreading, but to fan the flames as well. Also added to the mix, were bombs with time delayed fuses. These were deployed to take out those who were around to fight the fires, or rescue the survivors.

When I said that this book was comprehensive, I meant it. The first chapter (titled Weapon) discusses the weapons used, and what the targets consisted of construction wise. Then there's the planes, the perfection of radar and anti-radar devices, an examination of the air crews, as well as the means used to defend the targets.

The second chapter (Strategy) explored morale bombing, citing the German attacks on Warsaw, Rotterdam, London and Coventry, the latter inspiring the allies to create their own plans for the destruction of German cities. It tells how the bombing went from precision raids, to saturation bombing, highlighting the thousand bomber raid on Cologne. There's even a few pages on the Dambusters. The second half of this chapter informs readers that it wasn't just the Germans who suffered at the hands of allied bombing. French civilians died in their hundreds as first the allies prepared for the D-Day landings, then in support of the allied forces on the ground. The Dutch too were also hit, as were the Italians. It should also be noted, that there are reference to instances where allied fighter pilots deliberately strafed civilians...

The third (Land) examined the destruction on the ground level. I appreciated the historical touches on the particular cities, examining cultural icons, their development over the centuries, then their destruction in minutes. This chapter is divided up into the four compass points, and contains a number of eyewitness accounts.

Protection, the fourth chapter, details what it was like for the German civilians trying to escape the destruction in the cellars, basements, bunkers and air-raid shelters. As it plays out, civilians could be burnt to a crisp if they stayed outside or killed by the blast, crushed by falling rubble if they stayed inside, or asphyxiated from the lack of oxygen, or poisoned by the gases created by the bombs, or trampled to death in stampedes either getting into or getting out of a shelter, or in some cases drowned by burst water mains or excess water from fire hoses or having jumped into rivers to escape the flames. It also examines burying the dead, air-raid wardens, firefighting, looting, evacuations and fleeing the cities.

Chapter five (We) deals with propaganda, a German admiration for the British stamina, the helplessness of the terror attacks, victims, involvement of foreign workers (and prisoners) and reprisals. The German populace had put their faith in the vengeance weapons saving the war, but resorted to carrying out executions of downed allied airmen. Apparently over a hundred allied pilots were lynched, shot, or beaten to death by angry civilian mobs during the course of the war.

Chapter six (I), examines the senses, and how people reacted to the situation. There's the point of view of children caught in the melee, dealing with human remains, and being emotionally paralyzed. The final chapter (Stone) reveals the destruction of cultural icons and methods used to save records, books and artifacts. I find it ironic that the world gasped in horror when the Nazi's burnt books written by Jews before the war, but hardly shed a tear when ten million tomes (including ancient hand-written texts) were lost to the flames created by the bombers.

It is easy to say that the Germans did it first, they started the war, they brought the destruction down on themselves. But the book cites numerous examples of allied bombing of civilian areas, highlighting the fact that it was a "total" war. The allied excuse of saturation bombing of German cities was to disrupt their weapons production. Ironic that despite around the clock bombing for three years, German industry reached their peak output in the second half of 1944...

600,000 people perished, including prisoners of war, foreign laborers, elderly, infirmed, women and 70,000 children. Cities weren't just hit once, they were hit repeatedly. Hamburg, for example, was subjected to 213 raids. 112 occurred in 1940 and 1941, 65 in 1944 and 1945. The major destruction though occurred in July 1943, with forty thousand fatalities. 1.7 million bombs were dropped on the city, which equates to one for each inhabitant. Other cities were worse off in terms of the number of attacks - Dusseldorf was attacked 243 times, Cologne 262, Essen 272 and Duisburg 299.

The book is filled though with harrowing personal accounts. One example, comes from a professor living in Pforzheim, where roughly one in three people living in the city were killed in raids. During one raid, it was noted that cellars could work in the same way as crematoria and serve as tombs.
"No cabinets or boxes remained, which my sister had used to store her best things. On the floor, and especially along the wall, there were piles of ashes here and there. Part of a human torso that looked like a charred tree stump was in the middle of the cellar. Near a pile of ashes in the corner lay a bag that disintegrated at the slightest touch. The bent metal handle and a key-chain were all that remained."

The fires were so intense, that they consumed all the oxygen, making it difficult to breath. Asphalt melted. People were even sucked into the flames and incinerated. Water evaporated.

It's an amazing read. At times, I couldn't put it down. I took it everywhere I went, to read on the train, during lunch, even during ad breaks on television. I haven't been so impressed (or moved) by a book since I read the Gulag Archipelago.

What else? Not much. Tomorrow, Morisset again, to get me out of the house for a bit. Saturday, hopefully some soccer, provided that the pitch holds up to all the rain.

And yes, a birthday as well. The Jethro Tull ticket was a present to myself, and a good one. I can only hope that the team does well and gives me a win on the day.

Next week, appointments with not only the doctor, but the dietician and the psychologist as well. It will be a busy week.

Ciao.

A beautiful Sunday

2011-04-24T15:13:00.011+10:00

Sigh.

I love days like this. The washing is on the line and drying, I've got the footy on in the background, and now it's time to rattle off a blog. I've already been out today for a little exercise - a kick around the park with the ball I picked up at the last match. I was there for a good hour practicing clearance kicks and goal-kicks, and raised a fair sweat too. I needed to practice, seeing the match on the 16th was called off due to all that rain, and the season broke for Easter. Barring the weather, the next game shall be on my birthday.

I had planned to that on Good Friday, after lunch, but, well, I didn't feel like it. Instead, I crashed and napped. I did go for a walk in the morning, doing my usual route down Russell Drysdale, through the bush walk around the edge of Brisbane Water (behind the art gallery), then up the hill, down the other, looping around the block before heading down the main drag and home.

I sure needed it. Lately, I haven't had the inclination to go any further than outside to take the rubbish out. A day at home generally consists of bed, DVDs and the couch. The X-Files DVDs that I have been borrowing have been getting a regular airing. I'm currently up to season eight, with Mulder having been abducted by aliens and Doggett on the case with Scully. I'm still finding that there are episodes that I really do not remember watching at all the first time round. However, there are episodes where I can tell you where I was when I first saw it. The good thing is though, I'm getting to watch the entire saga all over again, and enjoying it once more.

You could say it's been keeping me sane. My mind has been sufficiently diverted to focus on the screen rather than my problems. There are still moments though where I feel utterly helpless, where I have felt so lonely I could cry. Sitting in the shower for long periods have been a good escape - there is something about the running water which is quite theurapetic. I must say the occasional midday nap has helped as well.

On Monday (18th) I ventured to Centrelink rather than the usual obligation at the Salvos. I handed in my paperwork, surprised to find that everything was taken care of over the front counter. The exemption from all job seeking activities lasts until mid July. I then ventured around to the Salvos, informed my new case manager, and left, taking up refuge at the games store for the rest of the day.

I did attempt to contact the psychologist that I have been referred to. Last Wednesday (20th) I called and left a message, Thursday morning I left another message, then came home to find two from her. (She had written down my mobile number incorrectly... ) Saturday, I called her mobile, but got the message bank. I haven't heard back from her, but considering it's Easter, I'm not really surprised.

Distractions. Finding something to keep me occupied. That what it boils down to. The longer I'm kept occupied, the better. The computer, TV, DVDs, reading - it all helps. Exercise is another good thing too. It breaks up the monotony of the day.

At least I have been getting out. Tuesday (19th) was the last day of the Certificate 4 course. On the day, I handed in what could quite possibly be the largest assignment that I have ever completed in my life. The paperwork was unbelievable. But the main thing is, it's done. When I left (considerably early) last Tuesday, I was only one of two people that had finished the course by handing in the last assignment.

Wednesday was a lost day, but Thursday wasn't. I had received an invitation to travel up to Long Jetty to play Trivial Pursuit against a woman I know from Facebook. It had been a considerable time since I last played the game, probably fifteen years. My host had a more recent version of the game (at least she had bought it this century) and with an easy win in the first game (my opponent had only picked up two of the wedges by the time I had won), it felt like that I had been playing it regularly all that time. I finished the game in style. The fifth and sixth wedge in consecutive questions, then the winner as well for the hat-trick.

However, the next two games went right down to the wire. On both occasions I came from two wedges behind, to square the game up, with both us requiring the final question to win the game. In the end, the best of three series was decided by a literature question, about a famous (or infamous) Indian text. The answer was the Karma Sutra.

Friday, well, not much more to add about it, but Saturday was entertaining. I was invited to my mate's comic book store (Dark Dimensions) for their three month anniversary. My main brief was just to be wandering around the store, chatting to customers and assisting wherever I was needed. It was a pity it rained, for a BBQ was planned, and people were attending in costume. (Young women in Anime costumes were definitely distracting... ) I spent more time though watching DVDs and reading through some of the merchandise whilst enjoying some sausages.

I ended up though making a contribution to the day's takings, by buying some Manga. I purchased two volumes, parts one of the Neon Genesis Evangelion series and the Hellsing series. The former was quite interesting, with Shinji being considerably less whiney, and a few alterations from the DVD series. Hellsing was different from the DVD series, in the order of the narrative. In the DVD series, Integra's story about her first meeting with Alucard occurred much later (seventh or eight episode from memory), whereas in the manga, it's the second chapter.

I like them though. They're much better than western comics (despite them being mostly in colour), once you get used to the right to left reading style. 170 odd pages for $15 is actually quite reasonable too. I could almost purchase one a fortnight.

Well, what do I have coming up? A birthday is less than a week away, and I'm not dwelling upon it. I will be concentrating more on the match this weekend. Actually, it may well be two, seeing we have to play a catch-up game as well.

The only other thing scheduled is the usual trip to Morisset. Apart from the weekend, it could well be a very dull week.

Ciao.

Made it to Friday

2011-04-15T13:24:00.006+10:00

It has been another roller-coaster of a week.

Last Saturday (9th April), I was pretty good. It was the first match of the season, played at home against Kellyville. We went down 1-2, a game most of us felt that we should have won. We had a number of chances, and a few more denied by questionable off-side rulings, but in the end our opponents took theirs and won the game.

At times in the game I was very, very busy. At times in the game I was twiddling my thumbs watching the play up the other end. I made several good saves, and one I muffed that almost went in. (It went straight through my hands and out, thankfully.) There were a couple of raids downfield that required me to come out in the first half, including one occasion where I snatched the ball from an opposing player's feet. There was a long drive which I had to jump for, getting both hands to it and catching it before it hit the turf.

In the second term, there was two dives to the right which denied low shots, one I stopped cold, the other was deflected and I scrambled to recover the dregs. Another, from an indirect free kick, nearly snuck in past the three man wall to my left, but I had anticipated it and dived nicely to stop it. The save though that had even the opposition talking, was a cannonball shot almost at range of about five metres or so, which I denied with my chest. It was a reflex save. I got there just at the right time.

However, off the resulting corner, they scored their second. It was tired marking, and I honestly didn't see the threat until too late, racing out in an attempt to block it. The corner was on target, and so was the shot on goal. The first goal, in the first half, I was unsighted. The opponent was marked by Rod, but he managed to get the ball around him, and I didn't see it until it was in the net. We did get one back, early in the second half, and we were playing well. In fact, in the team's best and fairest for the season (a 3,2,1 vote), everybody scored points and I got seven, which made me quite pleased.

So, we sat around and chatted, packed up the gear, had a beer or two, and I found a discarded soccer ball. In fact, we finished two balls up for the day! I got home around 8pm, in time for Spooks.

Tomorrow we'll be playing away. A 1pm match, which means I need to be on the 10.40am train from Gosford.

On Sunday (10th April), we were meant to be playing in the Blood Bowl league at the store, but that didn't eventuate. I did though manage to play four games of Arkham Horror, lasting from 11am until around 6pm. We won two.

So, going into Monday I was doing fine. Job Club however brought me crashing back down. A case manager there, whom I've never met before, had a little dig at me for not joining today's "exercise" and about my job searching skills in general. I informed him, politely, that there were circumstances that he didn't know about. When he left I was just so angry, then I got upset. Thankfully my old case manager came by and I had a little chat to her. She then updated my circumstances, including health problems, and with the changes submitted I was promoted from a Stream 2 to a Stream 3 candidate, meaning I was to receive extra assistance. It also meant a change of case managers as well. She recommended that I get some documentation from my doctor, and take some time off from my C-link obligations.

And, after a fifteen minute appointment with my doctor on Thursday, I was given not only a health certificate for three months absence from my obligations, but a referral to see a local psychologist as well. (I had to press a little for that, explaining that there were other things as well, such as my inability to maintain relationships.)

I then went back to Gosford, saw my case manager, and discovered that I was being put forward for a job. It was one I had already been rejected for, but it had come up again. My case manager informed me I was under no obligation to accept the offer, considering the circumstances. I did take it at first, but then, after weighing it up, changed my mind, and rattled off a quick e-mail to her to inform her of my decision.

Monday, instead of going to Job Club, I'm now going to C-link, to submit the certificate. I'll do that early in the day, seeing that I may (or may not) have some work to complete for the last assignment for my Certificate 4 course.

So, Tuesday and Wednesday were non events. I got very little work done, my sleep was disrupted, I was up early on both days, then returned to bed after watching some TV and/or a DVD. I was very reluctant to start work on the assignment, realizing that I could've had it finished by now had I been in a better mood. Turns out though, I don't have much to do, and should, without any interruptions, have it finished on Sunday.

Currently, though, I'm tired, as usual, waking around 6am, meaning I may have got around six hours sleep. I got to Morisset this morning, and discovered that a clean-up of the toy library was in progress. So I got stuck into it, and we piled up a fair pile of discards, plus other stuff to pass on to the Salvos. It was a good morning's work.

I don't know where I am at the moment. I feel quite lost, mentally, and just so listless and uninspired. Nights are spent in front of the telly, watching TV or DVDs, and days are spent on the computer, trying to do work, surfing the net or playing computer games. In the end I can hardly concentrate on any of them for a great deal of time, and wind back up on the couch. If I don't have to leave the house, I won't, and will be inside all day, regardless of the weather.

I just feel, well, so empty inside. Currently, the only thing that is keeping me going, is the soccer. It least it gives me a chance to get out of the house, forget all my troubles, and focus my thoughts on the contest.

Anyway, time to wind this up, and post it. I still have some other stuff to do here before heading home.

Ciao.

It's so quiet...

2011-04-01T11:18:00.005+11:00

It's so quiet...

...and it's just the way I like it.

Especially after a rather disturbed night's sleep. I had the lights out around 10.30pm, and took forty minutes or so to nod off, I was awake at my usual time (between 4 and 5am) and after repeated attempts to doze off, around 5.45am I gave up, and had a very early breakfast, and watched some more X-Files.

It's becoming a bad trend. Only one night this week has my sleep been uninterrupted for more than six hours. Even the weekends are just as disrupted. I'm at a loss for a reason why and it is causing me much grief.

Like the Hoodoo Guru's song goes, I am so tired of waking up tired. How I manage to get through an average day on so little sleep is beyond me. Perhaps my body is just so used to it by now.

I spoke too soon about lack of the noise. It appears the mentally challenged people are bursting balloons for a bit of fun. Each burst at the moment is cutting right through me. I'm glad I'll be able to pack up shortly and head back inside. In fact, I'm thinking of heading home early today. It has been so quiet (client wise) in the toy library of late that I feel that I could stay at home on Fridays and do just as much work.

I don't have much to get done really. Print up some assignment material, and that's about it. I could leave around one and be back at home with groceries before school gets out.

So, how am I feeling? Hard to say really. I don't feel any better, or any worse, though in five minutes this morning I spent $450 on rent and the electricity bill and have around $170 left for groceries and other things for the rest of the fortnight. Next week I have the soccer season starting (first game on April 9th at 3pm) and a new Blood Bowl league (April 10th). At least they give me something to look forward to.

That's just how it is currently. Life just feels so empty, so devoid of meaning. It is a struggle sometimes just to get out the door. The weather hasn't helped, it has been rather inclement lately, which matches my mood. The last couple of days my sole desire was to just lie on the couch and watch DVDs. I did force myself to go for a walk on Wednesday, which lasted 20 minutes, and called in on my mate's store in East Gosford, staying a little while, but I wasn't feeling very sociable. I did do some work on a presentation for the Cert 4 course (I must've altered that presentation twice now) but I ended up being more inclined to either waste some time playing one of the few games that actually works on my machine, or watch X-Files.

I have though started posting on a mental health forum. In just a couple of days I notice there's so many people fighting this illness apart from me, and some with very similar experiences. There are, of course, some worser off. The encouragement is good, and I'm glad people responded to my post.

There's not really much else to add at the moment. The quiet has returned, and I'm going to enjoy it for a few more minutes before packing up.

Ciao.

First week back on

2011-03-25T10:37:00.004+11:00

Well, it's been a week now since I re-started the medication. It only took a couple of days to remind me of the side-effects - yawning. (Even now I'm doing it.)

Do I feel any better? No, not really. But then, it's only been a week. I do feel a bit dopey though. This morning, as I was trying to do a Sudoku to kick start my brain, I could hardly figure it out - and it was one of the easy ones. I got a few numbers, then just gave up.

Trying to do assignment work during the week was a problem. I struggled to stay focussed at times, but somehow I managed to do them. It's these presentations that I need to get out of the way, and I'll be doing them next week now that they're done. Coming up with a training session from scratch was harder than I thought it was. For example, one that I'm doing is based on a nationally recognized training package, for "Sending & retrieving information by the internet & e-mail". We don't have to do all of the components laid out in the package, just some of it (or, in this case, 40 minutes worth). So, I just concentrated on the internet part, which contains searching the net, and actually browsing for material on privacy and netiquette.

Of course, you just can't tell them to fire up the browser and off you go. You have to explain what the browser is for, and show them the components. You also have to show them how to adjust the settings on the browser. Then there's entering in a web address. One has to explain what a web address is, and the parts of that too. For actually surfing the net, I'll "get" the class to look at various websites and their privacy statements, and have them do a search for netiquette guidelines. I plan to have a class discussion about both of them, factoring in five minutes for each one. I'll conclude with a little Cloze exercise (fill in the blanks).

I did a presentation on a fun topic in class on Tuesday, on Yahtzee. I was suprised that not everybody had heard of the game. I made a convert though! The presentation went well, though I did rush through it a bit, which is something that I'll have to bear in mind for later presentations.

Apart from doing assignment work, there hasn't been much else happening. Since last Friday I have been at home trying to find the inspiration to get these presentations done. I even managed avoiding going in to the Job Club at the Salvos on Monday, my case manager allowing me an extra day to do some work on them. Truth be told, I slept in, after having another interrupted night's sleep and didn't start work on them until around 1pm. It was, however, my most productive day, having completed the 20 minute presentation, then getting the bulk of the work done on the 40 minute presentation. I finished that one on Wednesday (23rd March), then spent Thursday tidying them all up. I might go over them over the weekend, fine tune them a little. But I'll print up my notes and stuff here whilst I have the chance.

To pass the time, apart from reading a little bit, I have been re-watching the X-Files. I have season's 2-4 on DVD, and a "Best of" 2 DVD set with eight episodes on it. I forgot how much I used to like that show, and find myself getting back into the plot and characters once again.

I also forgot how much I liked Gillian Anderson too. Sigh. One of these days I'll get the other seasons.

Anyway, not much else to add. I could offer an opinion on Australia's loss to India in the World Cup, or the start of the NRL season, or even the disaster that's Libya at the moment, but if I get started, I might not stop.

Ciao.

Back on the meds again

2011-03-18T13:34:00.002+11:00

Well, just got back from the doctor's office. My physical injuries, sustained in the last game, were apparently a result of pre-match stretching, which, is a no no. What I should do, is limber up, but not stretch, and stretch AFTER the game. All right to warm up, just not stretch. (Which explains why, in game one, I didn't have these problems, seeing I just carried out some simple drills.)

The pain in the chest, well, there's some bruising around the ribs, and will take a few weeks to heal. Thankfully, there are a few weeks before the season actually kicks off properly.

As for my other problems, it has been suggested that I'm back on the downhill slide again, and it's time for me to "get a dose of Vitamin Z" as the doctor put it. Apparently I'm one of those people who are cyclic depressive, and will just have a bad period every 3 - 5 years or so, then be fine. Apparently, it's my time again, and rather than wait until later, best to hit it on the head now.

He also suggested a psychologist, but that's only if I really need to alter my behavioral problems. I said I'll give the medication a go first, before seeing if I really need to go any further.

Anyway, I intend to do something different for a change, and take myself out to lunch, even if it's getting near 2pm. Ciao.

Walking wounded

2011-03-17T15:38:00.011+11:00

Four days after the last game, and I'm still feeling the pain.

The record will show that we only lost 1-4 this time round, after trailing 0-2 at the break. Again, we are grateful it was only a trial, but a trial that cost the team dearly, in terms of players.

The game was played in very warm conditions, very spring-like despite it being the middle of March. In the first half, our opposition had the breeze at their backs, and were using it to their advantage. More than once I had to come off my line to contend with a long kick from the keeper at the other end of the field. On two occasions the long kick found a team-mate as well. In the second half, I had the sun in my face, and the breeze was gone for most of the half.

My first problem was during the warm up. I was getting Rod to kick some balls to me in goals just so I could get my eye in. One went off the side of the boot to my left. I stretched for it, and felt something go in my hip. For a moment, moving was actually impossible, until I got some feeling back and managed to pick myself up. I stretched a bit more, put some Deep Heat on it, and was satisfied enough that I could still move, though a little jerkily.

Worst was to come. After a brilliant save low to my right (and it was brilliant - I saw it coming, dove full stretch to my right, stopped the ball with a fully stretched right arm from entering the bottom right hand corner and was able to scramble and pick up the dregs as well), I had to attempt a similar save a few minutes later. This time, I missed it, and felt the muscle in the front of my leg (up the top, between the hip and knee) just go, and again I had difficulty picking myself up off the turf.

So, 0-1 down after 10 minutes or so, and I have a very bad leg. How bad was soon apparent. I couldn't take goal-kicks, and any time I kicked out from dead-ball plays, a sharp, agonizing pain ripped through my leg, causing me more than once to yell out in agony. (I only had to do it twice in the second half though... )

On the counter-attack though, one of our forwards goes down in a rather innocuous tackle. He has to be carried off. I later get an e-mail on Tuesday telling me he's out for the rest of the season with a serious ankle injury and his leg in plaster.

The second goal came from a defensive error, which I could do naught about. Again, our opponents were younger, and fitter, but as the game eventuated, they weren't overly skilled - just that they could move faster. However, as the half wore on, we were definitely getting the better of our opponents, despite the heat, and finished the half stronger.

In the first half, I really only had to attempt three saves at direct shots on goal. Two went in. Of course, as I already said, I did have to come off my line, but to smother a raid and deny them a shot on goal.

Despite having at least three other players nursing wounds, the team rallied to score the first goal for the second half. It was scored by the defensive back who got our only goal in the first game. At 1-2, things were looking okay. We were still holding our own, and controlling the game.

But, as in the previous game, cracks eventually emerged in our defence and goals started to come. The first one that hit the back of the net was disallowed for offside, which was good for I was caught flat-footed. Then there was a breakaway that I had to come out for, and I stopped a full-blooded shot at point-black range, smothering it in my chest. (I was rather pleased about that one!) Some of their players were roaming downfield without anyone opposing them, especially on our right. We were clutching at straws, with balls just heading over the bar, or wide from last-ditch defence.

Close range though, with a scramble of bodies, I didn't see the third one coming until it was almost in the net. I was disappointed, but not as much as I was with the last goal. It was very soft. It was a nicely played ball, coming in at head height, and saw the player it was heading to. I went out to block him, but the bugger headed it over me.

I hobbled back for it, almost colliding with the post as it bounced and went in. Had I had full use of my leg, I could've made a much better effort in attempting to save it, and probably would've, seeing the ball wasn't headed with that much force. But it was enough to get it up, over, and it beat me in. I was really pissed about that one.

Late in the game, I pulled off another point-blank stop from a fast break. It was not long after that the ref called time, and I went straight to the tap behind the posts to fill up my water bottle.

We had started the game with three or four reserves. Someone commented that we most likely played the last quarter of the game with only ten on the pitch.

My bumps and bruises weren't helped last Sunday by the Mariners choking in the A-league grand final and going down to Brisbane 2-4 on penalties. I had been given a lift back to Epping station, getting in around 4.45pm, and decided to take the chance, and go home and watch the game at the Central Coast Leagues Club. I arrived at the club just in time to see the closing stages of the first half, and even pull up a chair to nurse my injured leg. (On the way to the club from the station, an old man talks to me about having seen a young Matt Simon play, scoring two goals in an under 9's grand final once.)

It was packed, and it was tense. The tension was only broken when Adam Kwasnik broke the deadlock halfway through the first half of extra time. Then it was jubilation when Oliver Bozanic put a second one in a few minutes later. The trophy was at long last coming to the Central Coast.

I wasn't going to say anything, or remind anyone, but we had had Brisbane down 2-0 before in games, and they have come back. Yes, at the time, it was looking unlikely that they would do it, but, gees, do it they did. My mind was screaming "Do not take your foot off the pedal!" but, well, the Mariners did. Brisbane get one back. The momentum has swayed, and with the last touch of the ball in extra-time, they equalize and take us to a penalty shoot-out.

I had read somewhere that the goalkeepers were going to decide this match, and the comment was right. Though Matt Ryan, our teenage custodian, had won the man of the match award, it was Theokoltos at the other end, which won the game. Two brilliant saves of McBreen's and Boic's shots and the Roar was home.

Heart-breaking, yes, yes it was. But I got over it by the time I had left the club. We had fallen into the same trap. We had Brisbane (and Melbourne) on the ropes in matches this season. Instead of putting them out of their misery, we let them back into the match, and it has cost us. I take consolation in the fact the Roar are financially insolvent, with a debt of around $3.5 million. Salary cuts may break up the team, and a repeat is looking unlikely.

On the other hand, the Mariners, having three times been denied an A-League premiership, will be hungry in the next season, and will be very determined to get that monkey off their back. They have a good squad of talented young players coming through the ranks, a coach which is dedicated and has no doubt surprised people with his efforts in 2010/11, and enough experience to become a major force to reckon with.

The two things we need though are to be more ruthless in front of goals, and to get more locals to get their arses back on the seats at the stadium for home matches. Crowd wise it was a very disappointing season. Result wise, well, only one team did better than us...

In my injured, limping, sweaty state on Sunday night, I finally got home after eight to discover something odd with the house. I unlocked the door, and much to my surprise, the light did not go on. A quick look revealed nothing was on. Is there a black-out? Nope - three and four have their lights on. Did I burst a fuse? Unlikely, I hadn't been home.

Then it dawned on me. The power is off at the main. Sure enough, after finding a candle, I wandered back outside in my trackpants to find someone had switched off my power. I swore loud enough to make sure that people had heard it, and stomped back inside to my flat.

I do not know who turned off the power, but I have a pretty good idea who it was. As for a reason why, well, I'm struggling. I can put down a reasonable suggestion though. Before I had left home last Sunday (March 13th) to go to the trial game, my bewildered neighbour in number two, asked me if I was having problems with my radio, for hers was off. (I was standing in the bathroom with just a towel on I should mention.) She also asked if I had problems with the computer. I told her neither of them were on. I don't have any problems with them.

Then I come home to find my power had been switched off, and hers as well. My mind is thinking that she turned mine off by mistake (despite it clearly being marked "Unit 1" and "Unit 2" in the power box) and then turned hers off, but then didn't bother to turn mine back on. (She wasn't home either I should mention.)

But then, another scenario presents itself. What if it was Ron/Rod in number four having another go at her? For whatever reason, turning my power off as well? That, well, I can't really believe, thinking why would he do that anyway? Have I offended him somehow?

My friends are having fun with this one. When I mention the latest antics on Facebook, I get plenty of responses. When I see them at the games store, they ask what else is new in "The Block".

I'm just wanting to get through a week without any dramas with them, and as little contact with them as possible. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that.

Today, after an appearance at C-Link, I decided to venture over to the pre-poll booth at the showground and cast my ballot for the election. Disappointed that I wasn't getting any work in this election (and still wondering why I didn't get any) I decided that, well, I wasn't going to go anywhere near a polling booth on the day if I wasn't working and went over to cast my vote.

The senate paper was enormous. It's nickname of "The Tablecloth" is well deserved, for this one could well and truly cover a small coffee table. There would have to have been a hundred or more people running for the senate, of which I knew just one name on the list - Pauline Hanson. I picked fifteen names at random, for that's all you have to pick (thankfully), folded it up, and popped it in the box on the way out. Too easy. No questions as to why I was pre-polling, and there was only three people working in the booth at the time. (Man, I wish I could've got that job... )

I should mention, the last assignment for the Cert 4 was finished on time, and handed in on Tuesday. Now, I have just one assignment to go, which includes four training session presentations plus some short-answer questions and evaluations. I put my name down to do a "fun" one next Tuesday (March 22nd) and I can safely say that I have completed the required paper-work to go with it. I am also thinking, I should do the rest of them on the same day, even though I put my name down to do those on March 29th. However, as the assessor says, if you feel like doing them earlier...

At first, I felt I wouldn't have the time to get all that work done, especially with the SAQ's, and all the other paperwork one has to submit. However, it was explained to us that we only need a session plan, our resources (including notes for the assessor if we are using a Powerpoint Presentation or something similar), and one assessment "instrument" (be it a quiz, an observation checklist, verbal assessment, etc.). The "fun" one needs to last twenty minutes or so (and doesn't need the instrument), but our main one, based on one unit of competency we have used before in previous assignments, has to go for forty minutes. A second one based on the other unit of competency, needs to go for twenty. A third one based on either competency, needs to go for around fifteen, and we need to deliver it one-on-one.

So, yesterday, over five - six hours, I created a twenty minute presentation on how to play Yahtzee, which includes a brief history of the game, equipment needed, rules and basic game strategies. Then there's an opportunity for the class to play a game. I may even post it sometime on my website...

I should be doing them now, but I have been doing this blog for way too long. That, and I am not sleeping well again. There was a brief period, where I was getting some regular, uninterrupted sleep back in February, but now, it's resorted back to normal patterns, awaking between 4 and 5 in the morning, struggling at times to get back to sleep, and dozing in the afternoons. This week, I have had three afternoon naps, including today.

It will be one of the things I will mention to my doctor tomorrow. My sports injuries seem to be healing fine, but I will still consult him anyway about the more serious of them. Walking today, is still causing me some pain, though on Sunday through to Tuesday it was almost unbearable, with taking steps down, downhill slopes, and even walking on flat surfaces causing me grief. Even attempting to put my leg up to rest it was causing me great agony and bending over to tie a shoelace? Oh, the pain! The pain!

Now though, my main concern is this pain in my chest. I think I slept poorly one night and slept on my chest for too long (probably last Sunday, after the game), and bruised my ribs, though at times today when I laughed, or breathed heavily, it felt like one was cracked.

Sucks to be me at the moment. Ciao!

Big brother - East Gosford style

2011-03-11T10:56:00.004+11:00

Somebody take my neighbours - please!

The girly in number three can stay, but gees, the ones in two and four are enough to drive one bonkers.

I have commented, to various folk, that East Gosford is little more than an open air rehabilitation and senior citizens centre - with coffee shops. The permanently bewildered, and the ones with alcohol and other substance abuse problems, are allowed to roam the streets day and night, without any cares in the world.

Or, as I have discovered in the last five years, they move in next to me.

The latest antics are worthy of getting an entry in this blog at least. I have commented on my Facebook page that the whole saga could be turned into a reality TV show. Who needs to watch that crap when I've got the real stuff right here?

The latest drama apparently occurred whilst I was either here at Morisset in the library last Friday (March 4th), or at Billy Connolly last Thursday. I have only heard one full version of events, from one of those involved, which was mostly verified by the real estate inspector when she turned up on Wednesday (March 9th). (Before I go on, the lass doing the rental inspections for my unit is pretty sweet, even if she currently about three months pregnant. Sigh!)

As the story goes, number two noticed smoke coming out of number four's unit and decided to investigate. (I should point out at this moment, that the chap in number four, Rod? Ron?, is mentally handicapped, is partially deaf, and has a false leg. Most of that was as a result of a car crash he had not long after a girlfriend left him.) She knocked on the door a few times, noticing that his girlfriend was asleep on the couch, and he was using an industrial tool of some sort. (That would be hard to miss I would imagine.)

The old biddy in number two, being the busy-body that she is, decided to enter the unit, without gaining permission. Now, this may seem like the good samaritan thing to do, but, as the RE inspector pointed out, at a house fire at one of the RE's units, two good samaritans decided to enter the blaze, to see if anyone needed help. End result was two good samaritans needed to be resusitated for smoke inhalation by the fire brigade. (And there was nobody trapped in the blaze.)

Anyway, Rod/Ron, I should point out, can be a bit tetchy at times. He can also come on a bit aggressive, and doesn't really acknowledge personal space. So, what do you think his reaction was when he realized she was inside his unit?

Yup, he called the police. I wish I had have been there to witness all this. They ended up telling her, what I ended up telling her, and what the RE inspector ended up telling her as well, if there is smoke CALL THE FIRE BRIGADE! Myself and the RE also said that you have to respect his boundaries, and for heaven's sake do not enter his place unless he says you can!

You see, number two, is a nosey busy-body, who is always messing about in the affairs of other people, especially the poor lass in number three. (Her problem? Well, I think it's a social one, she's obviously suffering from some sort of depressive illness, and probably has a major issue with self-esteem, which could be why she doesn't go out of the house too often. She may even be agoraphobic to a degree, or, like me, she just doesn't really like people, or isn't good in social situations.) It explains why, at the moment, she doesn't get many visitors, for she has routinely talked to much to them, gotten into an argument, and pissed them off. I have heard one or two of them whilst trying to relax in the lounge room. Man, she even bails up school kids walking up the street and trying to lure them into her lair...

On Monday night, number two decided to camp outside on the patio, at around 9.30pm, and go off her nut about everything and anything under the sun. I shut the door, wanting some quiet, so that I could watch Deadwood on ABC 2. She then had a go at me for shutting the door, her drawl going on about how she could make as much noise as she wants to, have her music up loud, etc. After about five minutes of her ramblings, I had had enough, and opened the door and exclaimed "How dare you go on about me when I'm just five feet away!"

Then she came over all apologetic (which continued for a couple of days), and she was really sounding pathetic. She then told me about what had happened the previous week, and also added that Ron/Rod had chased her around the back of the unit calling her a "dirty old whore".

I was laughing on the inside. My neigbour in number four was only saying what I was thinking. Her ramblings were exactly that - she lost me on a couple of occasions, whilst at the same time, I was doing my best to lose her. I told her, that the chap in number four was rather peed off when you were going around to people saying that he was a male prostitute! She denied it, but I pressed the point. She then said a woman down the road had commented about a "red light district" next to her. The chappy in number four had taken to having a red light out the front of his place at night, and by the sounds of it, didn't understand the context of it. (My neighbour then commented about putting a blue light in front of her house. I said you'd better bloody not, for that means you're selling drugs!)

The end result was, I had half-an-hour of my life wasted listening to her. At times it was a circular argument. She went on about the problems with the units (mainly cockroaches), how she couldn't get screens repaired and the bloke in number four. She bignoted herslef about how well she got on with the owners, a couple of policemen, and Marie Andrews, the retiring member for Gosford. (I was thinking, perhaps Marie should help her with her cockroach problem, after all, she's dealt with the human equivalent in parliament...) She knew "everything" about social security, the mentally ill, the real estate system, etc. and even bragged about how much more money she was getting than me because she cleans down at Bluetongue stadium. (She picks up garbage there after the events.) I was ready to slam the door in her face at this point.

Eventually, she left. I was much relieved. However, I had missed pretty much all of my show.

I'm just wondering what the next week has in store for me? I'm thinking, for me to get any peace and quiet, I'll have to get out of the house more often. I'm glad I'm playing soccer this year. That'll take care of half of the weekends at least.

Anyway, I'm off. Time to pack things up and head back inside, where hopefully I can get a little work done on my latest Certificate 4 assignment. I haven't been too productive at home this week, but at least two-thirds of it is almost completed.

Ciao!

Not the start I was expecting

2011-03-07T10:02:00.004+11:00

Oh boy, not the comeback that I was hoping for. Seriously thumped 5-1 in an hour long game by a Ryde-Eastwood side that was definitely younger (and obviously fitter) than us.

My fitness was put to a test before the game had even started, with a little workout in goals fending off shots from the team. I was struggling to breathe after a few minutes, seeing the shots were coming thick and fast. As the game commenced and progressed, I was able to get used to the conditions and get my breathing under control. By the end of the game I was fine.

The game though, well, started off quiet enough, and the first shots on goal were decidedly easy to defuse. I could even let one or two go out, but there was one that I dived for, but I was relieved to see it just go wide of the post. My kicks out weren't that good - one going off the side of the boot and into touch. My goalkicks weren't that much better, with one not even getting off the turf. Then one of the fullbacks stepped in to take them and that solved that problem.

The first goal was annoying. The attack came from the left, and I thought I had done well to block the attempted shot, however, the dregs were picked up by another opponent, and despite the best efforts of my team mates stopping the second on the goal line, the third went in, with my dive not being enough to stop it.

And man, that ground was hard, and dry. It's an annoying feeling picking oneself up off the turf after the ball has hit the back of the net, but, as the game progressed, I had plenty of time to get used to it.

The team responded well, and got the equalizer pretty quickly, which made me feel better. However, it wasn't long before our opposition were back down field and attacking again.

Unfortunately, it was worst possible situation for me. A defender challenged the player with the ball, and the referee decided it was enough for a penalty. With no marking on the pitch, the ball was placed way too close to the goal, and though I was ready to go to my right (for a right-footer) he went left instead, and I was stuck in no-mans land.

The rest of the half was fine, and we felt that we were in with a shot of taking this game. However, as the game continued, it had become obvious that our opponents were decidedly fitter than us, and there were more forays down my end of the field. I wasn't under siege, but I was being attacked enough and had to come off my line quite a few times.

And the timing was there. The old skills were coming back, and I was definitely frustrating the attackers, hearing them curse as they put a shot wide, or, in most cases, over the bar. But it couldn't last for the rest of the match, and one raid was successful, with the ball going to my left and in through the narrow space I provided.

The flood gates didn't open, but the dam definitely overflowed, with two other goals coming from tried defence, as I was venturing out to deny the player with the ball a shot on goal, only to have a second person practically unmarked tapping a cross into the net.

I was quite relieved when the ref called time. I was sore (and still am), with my right knee hurting a bit from repeated trips to the turf, my two middle fingers on my right hand aching considerably, and my right shoulder aching from throwing or rolling the ball back into play repeatedly. There was also some bruising from the old shin guards that I was using around my right ankle, and there was a healthy sprig mark just below my knee on my left leg. But I was in good spirits, and exchanged handshakes with my opponents after the match, commenting to the opposing keeper that he definately had a quieter time in goals than me.

Tired? You bet, but a beer after the game, and a casual chat, to discuss what went wrong (the general consensus was that we had lost it in midfield, that and our opponents had a couple of speedier players and were obviously fitter) I felt better, especially after being congratulated on a good effort in goals by most of the team. We shrugged it off as one of those things, for, as I kept reminding myself, it was only a trial.

Next Sunday, another trial, this time with forty minute halves, in Pennant Hills. Despite my lift down being unavailable for this match, I said I would still make the train trip down, provided someone picks me up from a convenient station.

The A-League final though is on at 4pm. I hope I can get back to see the game.

And now, I'd better get back to doing what I should be doing here today at the Salvos - job hunting. Cheers!

All is forgiven Adam!

2011-03-05T21:33:00.002+11:00

A match worthy of a preliminary final. Tense, tough calls, narrow misses, some brilliant goal-keeping, and in the end, it was just one goal that propelled the home side into a grand final showdown with the Brisbane Roar.

And, to show that the football god has a sense of humor, it's my least favorite Mariner, Adam Kwasnik, that seals the win, and puts them through for their third A-League grand final appearance.

Actually, he had a pretty decent game tonight, probably his best for the season. Error free, some nice touches, and a super strike that the Gold Coast keeper just couldn't get.

Three amusing things though for this evening:
1) My umbrella was searched at the gate by security.
2) The crowd figure was announced as just over 7500. The stadium looked clearly half full, which meant it would be some sort of first to have the official crowd figure DEFLATED instead of inflated.
3) At the end of the game, the scoreboard initially revealed that the grand final on March 13, was between Brisbane Roar and the Gold Coast. There was a mighty cheer when they finally got it right.

I'm off now to have a late dinner, and toast the Mariners good health. Then, hopefully, a good night's sleep before my first match for North Rocks tomorrow. Ciao!

MAAA-RIN-ERS!!!!

Finally got to see Billy!

2011-03-04T10:54:00.008+11:00

Finally got to see Billy, and it was really worth the wait. I had even sold the spare ticket, which made it even better. The man still hasn't lost any of his fire, and he was as anti-religious and anti-political ("Don't vote - it only encourages the bastards") as usual. His depiction of Julia Gillard being "someone that would really give you the willies" and how he imagined she be the type of person who would put snakes in peoples suitcases and eat their children had me in stitches. He even put a local slant of his ramblings, talking about the Newcastle quake and how it was the first place where he ever had vegemite.

He really doesn't like Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear - "Wouldn't know cool even if it was sitting in a refridgerator" and cracked a rather funny one liner about Oprah. "Have you ever tried vegemite? It's like liking a cat's bum." she asks. "I wouldn't know - I've never licked a cat's bum." he replies.

And then there was the occasional bit of tinsel falling down from the ceiling at random intervals. He thought he was under attack (from the helicopter people no less). It was hilarious!

Then there was a recent trip to Canberra (not designed for pedestrians), his frustrations with GPS systems, his dislike of spiders, how dangerous it is for us to swim in the ocean, our vicious wildlife, an acid trip he once had when he and Gerry Rafferty was at a party ("The paper is moving from underneath the words..."), fans, dining in Japanese restaurants, avoiding "shiny" people...

Sigh. It was a good night. He went over time, finishing around 10.45pm, and my date and I missed our train, but we didn't mind. We got back to Morisset around midnight, and I was ready to hit the hay.

Glad I had somewhere to crash. I doubt I would've stayed awake until Gosford. Then get four/five hours sleep, and turn around and go back to Morisset the next day.

I can cross another thing off my bucket list now. I should see what else I can remove from the list this year...

It is going to be a busy next few days. The Mariners are playing their elimnation semi-final this Saturday against the Gold Coast at home. Considering that the last home play-off game barely managed ten thousand, I think I shouldn't have much of a problem getting a seat for this one. Problem is, with all these other expenses coming up (namely bills) I don't really know if I can afford the expenditure. However, it is their last home match for the season, so I really should go. (Obviously I can't get to Brisbane for the final... )

But it has been a good season for the boys and it should end in a final. We can beat the Gold Coast, and should've last time we played them at home (five missed chances in the first twenty minutes from memory).

As for my match, well, my first game after a very long spell is this Sunday. I am looking forward to it. It's an hour long trial against another over 35's side from the same division as us, and I have already arrange for transport to the game. On Monday I went out and purchased the rest of my kit, including gloves, trackpants and a long pair of socks that I can put my shin guards in. Sure, I'm a little nervous about it, seeing it has been a long time inbetween games, but it will be good to get back out onto the pitch again, kick a ball around, and put my new found fitness to the test.

I am still being put forward for more positions. However, I had one phone call from a Salvos case manager at Wyong, for a short term contract data entry position, that really annoyed me, and put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day (and after I had had such a good morning as well).

The thing is, I know I have a bad resume, but I don't need it to be rubbed in my face. And what is wrong with volunteer work? If nobody wants to employ me full-time so that I can get some paid experience, then how am I suppose to get it? By doing volunteer work! (You can't do voluntary work for a business in order to get a job because a) Centrelink is of the opinion that if you can do volunteer work for a business, you can do paid work for a business, and should be doing paid work for a business b) insurance. Because of the latter, I couldn't get volunteer work at Gosford library.)

You see, at the moment, my psyche is in a fragile state. It doesn't take much to put me over the edge. One bad phone call from an indifferent case manager is going to do it. On Monday, I was in such a state I didn't really want to do anything else except play computer games.

Sure, I'm physically fine, but that's about all I have really going for me at the moment, that and I'm about to start exploring a new social outlet, which is something that I really need, seeing I find it so hard to meet people. I'm hoping that works for me, for, I must say, I am miserable, and want to break free from this.

I often wonder if I have something a wee bit more serious. I really should find out what it is.

On a good note though, I have managed to just finish loading a collection of music from The Humblebums. The band being made up of Gerry Rafferty (of Baker Street fame) and Billy Connolly.

Ciao!

Yeah, still here...

2011-02-25T12:12:00.009+11:00

Yup. Still alive, still blogging. Haven't been swept away by flood waters, and unaffected by earthquakes, bush fires and drought. (Although currently here at the community centre we don't have running water - roadworks up the street being responsible for that.)

Not that I am too fussed about that. It's been pretty quiet, for me. I've taken care of one enquiry in regards to the toy library, and checked a rather large network capable colour printer to see if it works. (It doesn't - the drum roll needs replacing.) Now it's like: "hmm, what to do?"

So here I am. I have nothing pressing to print up, and not much to do with the library records either. I'll get them out of the way when I finish this.

What has been happening? Well, apart from regularly viewing the news about all the public unrest across the top of Africa and in the Middle-East (and there has been a lot to see and hear) I have been busy with a number of things.

The first has been with job applications. My case manager has put my name forward for a couple of positions recently - both for case manager positions. She feels that I'm up to it, and, well, seeing I'm not having much luck with obtaining library work, and that I meet the criteria, why not? The first position was up at Wyong with Employment Plus, and, as I was dualy informed, the position was filled internally, after I was originally informed that they had reconsidered filling the position. The second one, again, was for a case manager position, this time with Vision Australia in Gosford. Strangely enough, they were after someone with a degree related to IT (didn't have to be an IT degree, but my Information Management one sufficed) and who has a Certificate 4 in Workplace Training. (In the process of completing it.) In both cases, I was informed about the positions with very little time to prepare. The latter I had one day, the former I had about three hours.

Second, the Cert 4 has started back, but not to a good start. It turns out, my assignment that I handed in last year on the last day of class, has gone missing, hence why I am the only one in the class who hasn't got their results back...

Third, I am gaming again. I have been spending more time at the store over the last couple of weeks, than I had back in January, primarily to try and finish off the long-running Blood Bowl league. On Monday (21 Feb) I started a semi-final, only having to stop the game at half-time, head home, and finish off another match I started way back on Feb 5. Yesterday (24 Feb) I returned to the store to finish off the game that was started on Monday. The best possible outcome occurred for that match, not just because I won the game (after trailing at half-time) but that with me winning, I don't have to worry about when my opponent would have been available to play the final. I can now have the other semi-final played this Saturday (26 Feb) and get the final out of the way as well.

I also called in on Tuesday to say hello to the store manager, and discuss possible upcoming role-playing sessions.

I also played in a tournament last weekend in Cherrybrook. I managed to finish fifth overall (suprising seeing I only won one game out of five), but to me it hardly seemed to be worth the effort to actually go. The actual BB tournament wasn't well run, the promotion of the event was terrible, and both days I had a 4.6 km hike to actually get there from the nearest train station, which was Pennant Hills. (I completed the walk on the second day of the event in 45 minutes. The first day I made a couple of wrong turns and lost quite a bit of time, but still got there on time.) I did come back with a prize though, so it wasn't all bad.

Number four. The ongoing saga for soccer registration should hopefully be over very soon. Last week, only after a two (working) day wait, I received my full birth certificate. This I laminated, made a couple of copies of, and even had them certified by a JP. Then I mailed it off to my mate in Sydney, so that he can get them sighted, and so I can be clear to play for North Rocks this season. There is even a trial match coming up next week on March 6th. I had a couple of other options available to me that weekend (two gaming events actually) but seeing I am very much out of practice, and would dearly love the hit-out, I'll take the football option instead. (Besides, I need to wear in those new-ish boots of mine... )

Five. I started work on some web projects. One for a mate who has opened a comics and collectable store in East Gosford (who should've had that done before he opened his doors - but I won't go into that), and one for me. I found a couple of good templates that had everything I wanted (especially for my personal website) and am now hoping to find the time to upgrade it, and complete the other one as well.

Oh, apparently the water is back on. Excuse me a few moments.

(A little later - sound of toilet flushing in the background.)

Ah, good!

Next Thursday (March 3rd) I get to cross off something off my bucket list - see Billy Connolly live at ewcastle. Having originally bought tickets way back in September last year (or was it October?) I now finally get to go. It gets even better now that I have offloaded the spare ticket, and have been paid for it as well.

I have been looking forward to this event for quite some time, even though at times, I had forgotten that it was on. I'm just hoping now that I haven't misplaced the tickets...

Can't think of much else to actually waffle on about, so I might just wind it up here. Still very quiet in the office currently...

Ciao!

I didn't think getting ID would be so hard...

2011-02-07T13:08:00.009+11:00

Well, as the heading suggests, I really didn't think it would be that hard to get some photo ID, even for someone like myself who doesn't currently have any, and has never held a drivers license.

But the running around I did for an hour on Friday afternoon in Gosford after coming back from Morisset (especially in the heat) made me one very unhappy camper. It also shows that requirements are different for various organisations. When I became a signatory for chequebook for the Corsairs gaming club a couple of years ago, I was only asked for the standard 100 points of ID, and not having a photo ID wasn't a problem. I could prove who I was, not a problem.

My original birth certificate is/has been generally enough. However, at the RTA on Friday, despite their website saying birth certificate needs to at least have full name, date of birth and where you were born (it also said on the same page that you need the full BC complete with parents details... quite contradictory), I was informed by the RTA clerk, that what I had, the extract birth certificate, wasn't enough. I needed the full BC.

Where can I apply for it? The court house. Thankfully, that's just up the road. I'm up there just before they close for the day. I explain what I need. The sole clerk replies "we don't do it here any more - you have to do it through the post office is it's non-urgent, or through the department of Births, Deaths and Marriages if it is urgent". Cost would be $59 if I take the PO option.

I walk to the park, and ring Rod, telling him the new dramas that I am having with getting the ID so that I am fully registered to play soccer this year. He is quite flabbergasted, and understands my frustration. I cannot possibly come up with monies to pay for both the BC and the photo ID for this fortnight, especially seeing that I have other things on. He offers to talk to the organizer for the team, and see that if they can come up with a solution.

By the time I get home, and consult the BDM site, Rod rings me. Apparently, in the by-laws of the club, if an official can sight my original birth certificate, plus, say, a tax return which has my address, and something else (like a document from Centrelink) they would accept that. I am very relieved. This afternoon, when I get back to Gosford, I shall mail him the documents. (He also said that the team's organizer wasn't impressed by the news either.)

So, hopefully, within the next week or so, I will finally be cleared to play for North Rocks this year. First day of competition is April 2nd, with trials coming up soon enough.

Saturday was almost just as frustrating. It was the last league day for the local competition, and, as it turns out, it was the worst attended day for the competition. Only half the people that said they were coming showed up, one showed up an hour late, then left four hours early (meaning we only got half a game in) and the other one then went off to play in the Magic the Gathering card tournament that was taking place at the store at the same time.

The original plan, for Saturday was: head into town, play Blood Bowl, leave gear at games store, head off to trivia night fundraiser. I had envisaged that I would be at the store from 10 am until 5pm. I left the store around 1.30pm, went back home, tried to cool off, had a late lunch, watched Domino, then headed back into town, then off to Morisset for the fundriaser, stopping at the popular Scottish restaurant at Morisset for a quick feed before the trivia night began.

It was a good night. I joined a group made up admin staff from the community centre, and we wound up finishing third overall, on the strength of a great final round, where my movie knowledge really came in handy! (Three trivia nights I've attended so far - second, first, third in that order!)

Here's a sample of some of the questions that we were asked.

* What's the chemical symbol for lead?
* Multiply the number of days in a week by The Beatles by how many time you have to love me by The Doors, what is the result?
* Starting with the letter M, what is the term for the saying written across family crests?
* Name the cast of Friends and what characters they played.
* The first Australian born governor general?
* What key is to the left of U on a standard keyboard?
* What does "Blog" stand for?
* What common phrase does these letters represent? PAWALKRK
* William Golding is best remembered for which novel?
* What was the title of J D Salingers groundbreaking novel?
* What blood type is the universal donor group?
* Which Russian city's former name was St Petersburg?
* Australian painter of the (abstract) Ned Kelly series of works?
* Where in the world are the falls with the longest drop?
* Mickey Mouse's original name?
* The club that Tim Cahill plays for, and what position does he play?
* What common saying does this represent: FEUL + FIRE
* What month does this year's NRL competition start in?

Our group got most of these right by the way! :)

The weather, I have to say, has been quite unbearable of late, right up until roughly 1.30pm yesterday. The five straight days of 40+ degree days (apparently it was 42 on Saturday at it's worst) over the last week made me rather testy at times, and more than a little dazed and confused. I could hardly sleep, and could hardly stay cool at home, and resorted to a number of different methods to do both. Multiple showers, putting the pillow in the fridge (a cool pillow is rather nice), draping a wet cloth over the fan... nothing really helped. I found myself visiting friends at stores that had air-con, and camping there for hours, and on one occasion nearly fell asleep in the shower at 2 am in the morning.

Sunday was, well, a blur. I didn't wake up fully until close to 11 am (and even then only got six hours sleep), and even then, only felt like playing Medieval Total War and listening to/watching the cricket.

Today, well, a bit different. Instead of attending job network meetings, I ended up back at Morisset. I had been asked to take over two seniors e-mail courses (part of Telstra's seniors campaign) and today's went rather well. The three "students" were a bit frustrated by the class, but they all got something out of it. I had some assistant from a volunteer's husband, who, I must say, related to the students better than I did.

The biggest problem, was that Telstra's notes were designed for people who had BigPond as an ISP. Our problem though, was that access to the Telstra site where I could set-up e-mail accounts without having a BigPond account, was prohibited seeing that the password we had, was invalid and customer assistance wasn't forthcoming. In the end, I resorted to Plan B - teach them how to set up e-mail accounts in Hotmail. Apart from a small hiccup (when one of the students kept on selecting the wrong responses for the drop down boxes, sending the browser back one page - just don't ask, clearing all the data she had put in for the account twice), it went rather well for my first session as a teacher. Something extra that I can now put on my resume...

Well, this blog has taken long enough. Time to spellcheck, log off, and think about going home.

Glad today is much cooler than yesterday. Ciao!

Hinking stot

2011-02-02T22:51:00.009+11:00

To say that's it warm currently is an understatement. But then, I have to remember that the temperature inside my unit is usually ten degrees worse than what it is outside.

After a quick check though, I would say it's somewhere between five and ten. However, the afternoon was indeed quite warm, more so after I spent a few hours lounging around in Pete's comic book and collectibles store a block away. (It's amazing how I manage to attract customers... )

Utilizing the air conditioning, I managed to type up a rather lengthy character profile for a new RPG campaign starting up relatively soon, and also catch up on paperwork I'll be needing to hand in tomorrow at C-link. I have surprised myself by going over my requirement of six "contacts" for the fortnight by reaching eight. One of them was even for a position in Gosford at the library.

But job apps and C-link requirements aside, yesterday was an absolute scorcher. How I stayed conscious for the day surprised me. Walking into town was murder, and when I reached the games store, and the air con hit me, my back just froze. The water I had brung along didn't last long, but fluids weren't a problem. Staying cool was however.

And last night's game turned out pretty good. Even at midnight walking home it was still very warm. I woke up at eight this morning very sticky indeed.

This evening, once it got a bit cooler, I decided to have a clean-up. Seeing my "wonderful" neighbour had clearly forgotten about organising a council pick-up of a rather broken couch (she brought it home, after having discovered it outside a doctor's surgery - it was missing an arm and had no cushions) that had been sitting on the front lawn for a fortnight. In the end, I registered for the waste disposal site, and made the request myself, deciding to get rid of some trash myself.

So, my neighbour in number four dragged it to the curb and I added to the pile with some cupboard parts that had been lying around (again, more trash accumulated by the neighbour) and added an old computer, two monitors, an old TV set that I had had for the best part of eighteen years (it was my first ever color telly - I can still even remember purchasing it at a second hand store with money I borrowed from mum), a pile of old real estate signs, a rusted CD tower, an old dilapidated radio/CD/tape combo player (only the radio worked - when it felt like), and a rusted one-wheeled bicycle. Strangely enough, the tower and the bicycle were taken - the bicycle within an hour of me putting it on the curb.

I also cleaned out a pile of old print-outs from various folders. I print up a lot of stuff, and had a lot of old news and sport articles filed away in Marbig folders, along with jokes that I had received from my father, home-made cricket scoresheets (I did that for years, starting as a teenager and continuing right up to my thirties - stopping when the internet regularly supplied all my scoresheet needs), printed and photocopied scoresheets of matches, photocopied sections of books, and even newspaper and magazine articles. I emptied five folders worth into the recycler, and probably could've done more, but felt that I had done enough for one evening.

The scoresheets, some pinched from old cricket scorebooks, I felt a bit bad about chucking out, but then, it's not as if I'd be saving them for anybody. I looked at the notes I took on the hand-written sheets - noting records, incidents in the game and so on. Man, I obviously had nothing better to do with my time then!

Had to laugh at a couple of not-so-bright kids I have seen recently. The first was at the leagues club last night. He was repeatedly trying to get ice out of a drink dispenser, and wondering why nothing was coming out. I stopped, point to the "out of order" sign that was on the machine (about an inch above his head) and walked on.

The second was earlier this evening. This one had helped himself to the radio combo. "Does this work?" he yells out to me as I was walking back into my unit. "Why do you think it's on the curb?" I respond. He puts it back and walks on.

I was nearly going to put this fan on the pile too. It's getting very old, the stand is broken, it doesn't oscillate, and needs to be stuck in something to keep it propped up. However, it is the only thing making the temperature in this room quite bearable currently. (That, and I am too broke to actually replace it. With all these other expenses to take care of... )

Ah yes, football registration. Only one snag - I had no photo ID. I have to acquire some fairly soon, so that my registration can be completed. After discussing the matter with some officials, we came to an arrangement, where one of them, who regularly ventures to the Central Coast, would be happy to sight (and cite) my ID once I had acquired it and complete the registration. When I get paid on Friday, it shall be taken care of ASAP - perhaps I might just leave the centre early to get back to Gosford and do it at the RTA.

I have, however, acquired a pair of footy boots. I rather good pair, which I spotted at a Salvos second-hand store. For $15 they were quite nicely priced, and in good nick, with spare sprigs and a sprig tightener. Sweet!

Okay. I think it's time to wind this up. I need another drink, and to catch a few minutes of "Howl's moving castle" on SBS. Ciao!

Hmm, bored, what can I do?

2011-01-28T10:49:00.009+11:00

I know, update my blog! :)

Yeah, it is another slow day here at the Toy Library, where the only excitement has been the staff informing me that there was a dead rodent in here the other day. The library was already opened when I arrived - to get rid of the smell.

Must say it worked. Can't smell anything. Unless my nose is that blocked up and I can't smell anything. Bad time of the year I must say to come down with a cold. It just hit me last Wednesday (19 Jan) afternoon (strangely enough, after the appointment with the dietician) but by the following Monday (24 Jan) lunchtime I had pretty much shaked it off, apart from this lingering feeling that my nose is blocked.

Annoying, yes, but I'll get over it. The rest of me is fine. I'm even getting a bit more sleep than what I'm used to, even though the heat is making it rather hard to do so at times. (I either sleep with the fan on, or have the window open. If the window is open, I'll be woken prematurely by noise outside. If the fan is on, I will get cold at some point during the night and have to wake up and turn it off. I can't win either way hey?)

Tomorrow (Saturday) I'll be venturing down to Epping to do something that I haven't done in decades - register for soccer. Seeing I'm in my early forties, and at an age where most people seem to be hanging up their boots, I find it a bit strange to be "coming out of retirement", fully knowing that I haven't played outdoor soccer since 1982, and played my last game of indoor in the year 2000.

Why am I doing this? A mate, Rod, whom I've known for roughly half my life, called me last week and asked me to play, seeing his side desperately needed someone who a) could play goalkeeper and b) wasn't going to be reluctant about playing goalkeeper. Me, well, I would prefer to be out on the pitch, up front, but in the past, have taken up the gloves and contributed on the field as the last line of defence. I spent more time in goals than in any other position, mainly because nobody else really wanted the job. Strangely enough, I'm actually fine with playing in goals, and during my adolescent years (and later, in indoor) I actually got reasonably good at it. At one time, back in primary school, I had learnt that I was on the reserve list for the area representative team. I wasn't picked.

I should've kept playing it during high-school, instead of switching codes to try my hand at union and league. Soccer suited me, and I have always liked the sport, but mostly as a spectator.

I guess going to all those Mariners games must've had an influence on me. Those gourgeous afternoons with the blue skies and the gentle breezes made me feel like being on the pitch again. And, with a strange turn of fate, I will be back on the pitch again.

It won't be anything serious, I have been informed. I'll be registering with North Rocks, the club my mate Rod has played for over the last few years (with a few mates of his) and he said we'll probably be in fifth grade. They had made changes to the side since last season, but lacked a 'keeper. Rod was so determined to get me into the side, he offered to pay my registration - $250. His other mate, Craig, made arrangements for me to get a lift down from the Central Coast with another player who lives in North Gosford. I figured, if they are going to since much trouble, it would be pretty hard to say no.

Besides, I'm almost back at the weight I was when I was back in high-school. I am as fit now as I was back in high-school. I have been looking for something else to do this year (other than gaming), as well as a means to stay fit and active, and increase the number of social circles I revolve in. I find it strangely coincidental, that an opportunity just very much falls into my lap just like that!

Normally, my social calender would be revolving around Blood Bowl league days and tournaments. Now, it will be revolving around soccer fixtures. I don't intend to give up that hobby at all. (Quite to the contrary actually - I have been painting a fair bit lately and intend to play what I paint!) The two weekends I will not sacrifice to the round ball game, shall be my own Gosford tournament (the Gosford Gauntlet) and the big Eucalyptus Bowl event in July. I'm sure the team can survive without me for those two weekends! (Other tournaments during the season, like Leviathan, I can probably miss. I'd rather not miss MOAB though, but it could well be after the seaon has completed.)

As for the local league though, well, could be a bit of a problem. Game days are Saturday (the last one in the month generally), and it would be a bit of an inconvenience to give up every fourth Saturday just for the local league. I figured I could either switch them back to Sundays, or, just let somebody else take care of the Saturday rounds, and I can play my games at other times.

We'll see. I have asked somebody else (my co-author actually) to fill in on those days, but, well, I don't know how often he'll be able to do it. I don't even know, at this stage, how many players I'll even have for the next league. All I know is, I have something else to do. People want me to play, so I'd rather do something where I would be appreciated rather than just taken for granted.

Still can't believe it though I'll be playing again, after all these years. To think, I'll have to buy shorts, boots, track pants, maybe even gloves (although I coulod swear that I had a pair somewhere round the flat).

The other major news from recent days is that I had a date last Monday. As dates go, it was good. I conversed with this woman, who I had originally contacted on Oasis Active (just before I closed down my account), for around three - four hours, and found her very pleasant company. We talked about a lot of things over a very leisurely lunch, until she had to get back to work. (For the record, we dined at a cafe in Gosford, which was very pleasantly air-conditioned!)

Will I be seeing her again? Possibly. We get along well, and have similar likes and hold similar views on things (David Gemmell for one, a dislike of the current Liberal top guns, social injustice, historical matters... there are others) and I find her good company. It's just a matter of finding the time to meet up when things are convenient for both of us.

She's planning on coming to a fundraiser we are holding at work next Saturday (Feb 5), which will be raising funds for the Queensland flood appeal. It will be a trivia night, at $10 per person (payable on the night), starting at 7pm, held at the Morisset Multi Purpose Centre. There'll be prizes and raffles on the night, and a gold coin donation will get you tea and coffee and cake.

Apparently she's quite good at Trivial Pursuit. That, I'll have to find out for myself!

Might close up a little early. I don't think anybody would mind! Ciao!

Post 550

2011-01-19T14:32:00.003+11:00

Not long back from the doctors. The report was good. BFI down to 27.9, my waistline is down to 94cm and my weight down to 80.7 kg. This means I dropped 2 cm off my waistline and lost a further 300 grams since my last visit.

And here's me thinking I had gained weight, seeing that the last time that I weighed myself (just before Xmas) I was 82.4 kg. Nice to see I lost the gain and a little bit more! I still need to get my BFI down to 25 however, and I would like to lose that extra 700 grams.

Despite the cool weather currently, I am quite tired. Would rather not nap in the afternoon, but after having gotten back from Woy Woy, and sat down after lunch, I suddenly feel the need for a snooze to recharge the batteries.

The miniatures can wait methinks. Only have five to do and I've finished another Blood Bowl team. Cheers!

P.S: Received an unusual request around 6.30pm this evening - a mate of mine (Rod) has asked me if I would be interested in coming out of retirement and putting on the boots again! I said I haven't played field soccer since high-school (1982 to be precise) and haven't played indoor for over ten years!

If it was anybody else, probably would've said no, but seeing he made a special request and they really needed a goalkeeper...

I just hope that they're not expecting Mark Schwarzer! lol

A moment of zen

2011-01-09T23:25:00.003+11:00

Some days, I really do wonder why I am here.

Some days, I really do wonder why I am the way I am too. Why one day, I am totally shite, and then the next, it's like the world is so wonderful and I am totally at peace with it. I have often commented that my life is a roller-coaster, that I have such wonderful highs, such agonizing lows, and plenty of twisty bits in the middle. If I was a regular user of narcotics, I would say it was the drugs talking. If I was mentally ill, I would have something to blame it on. I could say “yeah, I didn't take my medication today”.

But I don't do drugs, I hardly even drink and apparently I'm in the best of health I've been in for a long time.

Most of the time, I am quite an amiable sort of person. I put up with a lot of shite, from all sorts of people and agencies, and somehow, I smile, force my way through it, and come out the other side relatively intact.

Then other days, something just ticks me off the wrong way, I snap, and have people wondering what the hell is going wrong with me. Like last Thursday during a role-playing session. The game was only 10 – 20 minutes old. I didn't like something that was going on, that being, the way the GM was just torturing the characters for no apparent reason, apart from the fact that the persona in question was quite, quite insane.

After the previous few weeks of the campaign, my character had gone from being held captive at a labour camp (taken just as she was walking along the road to work by a bunch of soldiers from a hostile city), from being “arrested” as she was trying to pass through a city (then coerced back into some suicidal mission by her former employers), then to being captured again by the hostile soldiers and dumped in a pit with a pile of dead bodies. Yeah, hardly fun for me is it? Not so much in the role-playing department. How does one enjoy having their character tied up repeatedly, unless they're into bondage, and I'm not.

So I left. Packed up my dice, and walked out, having finally had enough. I didn't like the way the game was progressing, and I said so. (For more details, check my BB and RPG Blog.) Sure, I find it annoying that I later discover that the session improved, but, as I said on my role-playing blog, I didn't really want to know that. I felt bad enough as it was, knowing that I probably just had a moment of madness that I will no doubt regret.

It wasn't a total loss for the day. I updated the toy library's catalogue, and a couple of pages on my personal website (which has been sadly neglected).

It didn't help, that for the rest of the day, all I could hear was Australia going downhill big time in the fifth Ashes test. I will say, without any hesitation, we were beaten by a much better team. The fact that we lost three matches of the series, on home soil, by an innings, says that there is a big gap between the Australian and English cricket teams. And if we can't beat England at home, then gees, how are we going to succeed against South Africa? Or Sri Lanka for that matter, who beat us in a one-day series fairly recently? How can this problem be fixed?

Sorry, there's no answer here. Our bowlers can't take wickets on a regular basis, and most of our batsmen are not scoring runs consistently either. We just simply need to find some ones that can – but that's easier said than done.

Anyway, I've wandered off here. It was first day back at the toy library last Friday, after the Xmas/New Year's break. I turned up, and the only other office worker wondered I was doing here. Then I found out the library wasn't re-opening until the 12th of January. So, I stayed in the office. I answered phones, I did all my printing, I updated all my library files, I even did some jobs for other people. I took a booking for the most expensive item that we had, an inflatable castle – a $50 hire. I also paid my rent and the electricity bill online, leaving me with, well, just enough for the rest of the fortnight, provided I don't go anywhere and don't eat too much.

I got back into Gosford, ready to go shopping, when I looked in my wallet, to find that my train ticket wasn't there. It was a bit odd, me not having it there, for I am quite paranoid about losing it.

Then it occurred to me – I left it at Morisset. I photocopied it at work, so that I can be reimbursed for train fare going up there. (Unfortunately, I can't do that any more, seeing, apparently, quite a few people are doing it.) I'm thinking I left it on the table, or on the photocopier, rather than putting it in my bag or wallet. So, I walk up the stairs, and to my surprise, the main gate was open, and there were no inspectors or police. I breathe a sigh of relief and go shopping. Lucky eh?

Saturday, I dawdled around, playing Shogun Total War for the entire morning, and for the first hour of the afternoon. (I have discovered a way to get rid of Legendary Geishas – assassinate them with a veteran Ninja. Mind you, you have to train the Ninja up a bit to really make sure, though I got lucky earlier today when the success rate was a mere 13%.) I am really at a stale-mate in the game though. My territory (Hojo) has collided with Mori's. We have, along most of the front line, have massive armies, I'm talking five or six thousand men in some parts.

In two provinces in the north, the armies aren't so big, but the only place I can launch an invasion from, will immediately be subjected to an attack by overwhelming force. I have tried building up reserves, and sending them around to attack neighboring provinces by sea, but find I am losing those battles, for my troops are not experienced, and I lack veteran commanders. (One Geisha actually succeeded in getting through and bumped a Rank 2 general off.) The one province I did succeed in taking I got quite by surprise. After an abortive assault, which did see me kill 1400 odd men (about a quarter of his army) I attacked again, with everything that I had from two provinces. He fled. The other province I need, is a river crossing. After a number of experiments (and re-loads) I realized that the only way I'm getting through there, is with the ancient equivalent of a tank. Pity the Japs didn't have elephants...

So, all I have been able to do in return, is assassinate his generals. If I can't have good commanders, neither can he. Problem is now, my Ninjas are getting caught by security forces and my veteran Ninja, who bumped off several generals, an heir and a geisha, unfortunately failed going after an emissary (of all things). Hopefully though, I have developed something else that may be of use – the Kensai. I wish I could develop Ninja units though...

Anyway, after finally pulling myself off the computer, I set about tackling removing the mold from my bathroom ceiling. After ninety minutes of scrubbing, I had made some progress, but though I had remove the spores from a lot of the ceiling, you can still see the marks where it has been. I really have no idea about how one can get rid of that, apart from painting over it...

Oh, I was going on about roller-coaster rides with my emotions. Today, I went to the Mariners home match against Wellington. I must say, it was one of the best matches I have ever attended, as both sides demonstrated their attacking flair. Wellington almost scored twice within the first three minutes, but the longer the first half ticked along, it was the home side becoming the dominant team on the pitch, having numerous chances, but failing to put it away. That Wellington were obviously feeling the effects of their mid-week victory over Melbourne was beyond doubt – they were struggling to contain the side.

Then, around 41 minutes into the game, I had what I can only describe as a moment of zen. With the late afternoon sun shining down on the field, the ball being effortlessly passed from player to player, I just suddenly felt at peace with the world. It's such a hard thing to describe, but it was if all my worries were suddenly gone, for just that moment. I wish I had a camera so that I could've frozen that moment forever.

At that moment, the Mariners were playing well, the interchange of passes between players was bordering on sublime at times – it was the finishing that left a lot to be desired. The defence, at that moment turned into attack, sending it to the right wing, then into the centre, where our South American import, Perez, just seemed to have all the time in the world running downfield towards the goal area. Then he fed it to the left, and the ball was taken into the bottom corner. Then the cross came in.

It was perfect.

Our New Zealand representative, McGlinchey, got on the end of it, and fired it just inside the right hand post. Our former keeper, Vukovic, now starting for the visitors, got a hand to it, but couldn't stop it from going in.

I can see why Les Murray calls football “The Beautiful Game”. After seeing that build-up, and the final result, I couldn't agree with him more.

The exclamation of relief from the crowd when the home side finally breaks the dead-lock is something to savor. The “YEEEEEES!” from thousands of throats is beautiful to hear. The excited buzz that spreads across the ground as the team strides back into position to re-start is actually quite exhilarating. I don't like crowds that much, but when that moment occurs, I actually feel like I belong somewhere.

The better feeling though, is when the final whistle being blown, and realizing that the side has won. Wellington came back in the last ten-fifteen minutes, made it quite nervous for us spectators. I was very relieved when the referee finally called time. The three points keeps us firmly entrenched in third spot.

But we still have Brisbane to play in three days time...

Anyway, it's getting late, and I would like to get to bed. There is more I could rattle on about, but I might just save that for later. Ciao!

I tell a lie

2011-01-05T22:36:00.003+11:00

Nah, the Arkham Horror tournament wasn't fun. Hardly anybody turned up (so it was just the usual "villains" involved), there was an odd number of participants and I finished dead last, not being on the winning side in any of the six games that I played. By the time we finished the last game, I was glad to get out of there and go home.

Helping Pete at his Dark Dimensions shop across the road, where he and his brother are working hard to get the store open by the 15th of January. Today, they were fixing up shelving, whilst I scraped off gunk from old signage that he intends to reuse. It is coming along nicely, with the flooring, the front desk which he built himself, and a little carpeted area where he intends to put either a coach or bean-bags and set up a TV and a DVD player.

I honestly had nothing better to do today. The cricket was getting very depressing, and so was my game of Shogun Total War. Those legendary Geishas really can't be stopped. I needed to get out of the house and away from my computer for an hour or so before coming back to type up all the stuff I wrote when I was at my sister's for Xmas.

Got a phone call from my case manager yesterday. She put me forward for a job. (Second time in two years.) Call centre work. Didn't say who it was with or where the work is.

Friday, back to Morisset. Tomorrow, perhaps some role-playing. Ciao!

New year's day? Nah, it's just Saturday.

2011-01-01T22:10:00.003+11:00

I don't know about anybody else, but I am just over it. To me, December 31st and January 1st are just two days on the calender, the latter having the slight augmentation that it is a public holiday, or too much like just another Sunday, regardless as to which day of the week the first day of the year falls upon.

Today, being a Saturday, meant that I wound up doing Saturday things, not really caring about the significance of the day. I observe the members of nature - birds, insects, etc. and muse "to them, the date is pointless and unknown to them; they're just concerned about surviving like they have done for thousands of years until the sun goes down" whilst hanging out the washing. To me, the date is pointless, even though I know what the date is and the significance of it. I really just don't care.

So, as I said, I did Saturday things. I did laundry. I brought in laundry. I blogged. I went on Facebook. I had hot-dogs for lunch with lettuce and BBQ sauce on wholemeal bread. I watched DVDs. I played Tropico. I watched TV. Yep, just another Saturday to me.

Yesterday, I decided to keep up my recent ritual for new year's eve. After the Mariner's match, I ventured home, bought Chinese Takeaway (far better than the expensive rubbish I had in Chinatown on that date last November), bought a longneck of Strongbow, and watched a DVD. It was a good night in. As like the previous two new year's eves, I was feeling drowsy on the couch, and decided to go to bed at the end of the film, and sleep through the change-over.

I did a quick check on Facebook though, and discovered that I had an offer from a woman I haven't met and hardly know (it was the last woman that I got in contact with on Oasis Active before I closed down my account) to go to the league's club in Gosford last night for new years. The offer was received a bit late, after 10.30pm. By that time, I was knackered and only wanted to sleep.

But could I? Nope. My brain wouldn't let me. For forty minutes I tried, and failed. So then I got back up and played Shogun Total War for a bit. By the time the game finished it was well past midnight and this time, I nodded off, not waking back up until around 9.30am.

The game I went to last night was again a big disappointment. Once more I have seen the home side completely dominate the first half, and have nothing to show for it, then lose the game in the second half. Against the Gold Coast back in November, they had at least five definite goal-scoring opportunities in the first twenty minutes of the game, yet went to the break at 1 all, then lost the match 2-3. In that game, when Gold Coast scored right on half-time, the fight was taken out of the team, and it was very, very noticeable in the second term, even though they did briefly manage to bring it back to 2 all.

Against Melbourne Victory, they managed it again, via a different pathway. Again, opportunities in the first half, some of them so incredulously missed you had to wonder if the players on the pitch had some degree of eyesight difficulty. At the break, it was 0 all, where they should've been up at least by three.

In the second term, they scored within three minutes of the restart, via an own-goal, but it was the lead never-the-less. However, in the 53rd minute, my least favourite Mariner, Adam Kwasnik, was yellow carded for the second time in the game, and sent off - for a dive. The Melbourne player in question, Kevin Muscat, had just brushed against him with his forearm, as many player would do in a match, en-route to trying to get the ball, and Kwasnik just dropped to the ground. There was no power in the forearm, yet the Mariner dropped like somebody had deliberately pushed him with both hands. The referee wasn't fooled, and despite the boos from the crowd, the number 23 was sent from the field, and, as it happens, the three points as well.

From then, the Mariners went right on the defensive. It was absolutely ludicrous. The goalkeeper just deliberately kicked for the side-line. High and long balls were fired up field to nobody in particular. Our lone striker. McBreen, often had three or four defenders to deal with, as he was unsupported.

Yet, at the time, it appeared to be working. However, something was bound to give, and it was the home side, with less than seven minutes to go in the game (excluding injury time) that cracked. Victory's first coming from a goal mouth scramble, the second coming from a goalkeeping error. An innocuous shot went in, the keeper stopped it, but spilled it, and appeared to have it under control when a lurking opponent kicked the ball from his grasp and into the net. The ball wasn't in the keeper's hands, so the goal stood. The feverish attempt to get at least a draw was too late, and the Mariners once again choked in front of a pretty darn healthy New Year's Eve crowd of 12,409 - the biggest we've had all season. (They have won just two of five NYE fixtures.) I don't think we'll be seeing anywhere near that many at the next home fixture against Wellington on the 9th January.

The big mistake, as it had become apparent to me during the game, was that 1-0 wasn't going to be enough to win the game. They needed a second, rather than playing mega-defensive, zoning up on defence and turning the ball over at every opportunity to their opponent. It wasn't going to do it, especially against a side that knows how to grind down their opponents. Melbourne Victory, I feel, still have the goods to take the crown this year, even against Queensland Roar who are in great form. The Mariners still need to do a lot of work if they are to be taken seriously as contenders, which, after last night's effort, it will be harder to achieve.

So, enough about soccer. Tomorrow, I have a games tournament at the store. A board game tournament - Arkham Horror. Should be quite fun. Six games over two days and all for $10.

Normally though, I would be more focused on the cricket. But seeing the Ashes contest is well and truly over, well, there's no point. I will take my radio though to keep in touch with the score when I get the chance.

Now, I think I'll go back to the last game of Tropico I was playing. Ciao!

For f---k's sake...

2010-12-30T06:58:00.007+11:00

I don't think I have had a decent night's sleep for the last week.

Why? Because one thing or another, someone, or something keeps waking me up. For the few days that I was up at my sister's place, it was various wildlife (mainly kookaburras) doing the disturbing. One can't go crook at kookaburras chuckling away at 6am seeing, well, they're not people. They've only been doing that for centuries and will keep doing it long after I'm dead and buried.

The last couple of days though my neighbour has very unkindly demonstrated her ignorance of sane people's sleeping habits by a) deciding it's a great idea to hose down the side of the unit at 6.45am (Wednesday) and b) deciding it's an even better idea to bring the green garden waste bin back to the spot near my bedroom window, then start up a conversation with her friend at 5.45am this morning barely a meter from where I'm trying to sleep. A very tired me lifts up the curtain and tells them to move on.

But can I get back to sleep? Nope. Guess I'll just have to get through the day on four hours worth.

Out of the two, give me the kookaburras any day. I think starting the day with a laugh is probably the best way of going about it. Pity I'm too tired to actually think of anything to laugh about.

But I also notice, as I look out the window briefly a) two upside down green recycling bins, b) a double mattress leaning against the fence, c) a chair and d) a pram - the latter being underneath my bedroom window. Yesterday, there was also a cupboard with the drawers sitting on top of it against the side wall, and two broken trolleys (the type you see pensioners dragging behind them) leaning against the front wall of my house. Just when did my yard turn into a garage sale? (Anyone want to buy a used neighbour? Would make a good alarm clock and scare unwanted guests away! Will trade for a good set of earplugs.)

I commented to a friend of mine yesterday, the previous tenants, the young couple that fought, broke furniture and fittings and had one too many guests staying over, were a lot better than my current one because at least they left me alone! This one is always lurking around, popping up at inconvenient times, always telling me her life story and asking for my name every time she starts up a conversation. (If she does it again, I'll give her a different name.) She has taken over the units, seeing them as her domain, and has to butt in everywhere and annoy everyone. Even the mentally challenged bloke in number four has had enough of her. The girl in number three doesn't even come out of her unit. (One afternoon she got bailed up three times in twenty minutes. I know because I was trying to get some work done and watch the cricket that afternoon and could easily hear the one-sided conversations taking place.)

Pity. The girl in number three is actually quite attractive. I wonder what her problem is? (I could hazard a guess but I won't.)

Anyway, where would this blog be without a rant about sport. The Ashes are gone, again, surrendered back to the old foe without much of a fight. The contest doesn't even last four days, and we are humiliated by a second innings defeat. A win in Sydney won't do us any good, for the contest is over.

What can we do? It's obvious things aren't working. We have three batsmen carrying the side currently, but even they aren't scoring enough runs. One of them (Hussey) fails in Melbourne, Watson doesn't seem to have the patience to stick around to make a three figure score, and Haddin can score runs, but keeps coming in when Australia is five for not very many and has all that pressure heaped upon him. Then there's the captain, who, it appears, has forgotten how to captain a side, who is injured, and who is not in form. It's not good seeing our obvious choice to replace him (Clarke) is also carrying an injury and is not in form either.

Here's a suggestion. Promote Haddin to the top of the order, get him to open with Watson whilst Katich is out injured. Or, better yet, promote him to open with Hughes, drop Watson to Haddin's spot where he doesn't have to bat as long. Put Hussey in at three (he's batting early enough in the innings as it is, why waste time?), drop Clarke, bring in, say Khawaja (he can't do any worse, can he? Besides, some fresh blood might help revive the corpse that is the Australian batting line-up...), drop Ponting down to five (if you have to keep him in the side), leave Smith where he is, or, maybe give Cameron White a chance?

Bowling? Well, a dedicated spinner is a must, seeing we need the variation so leave Smith in. How about a tall, fast-medium, experienced paceman much in the mold of McGrath? Yes, I am talking about Stuart Clark! (For the time being anyway.) Bring in MacDonald as well, drop Hilfenhaus, and though I really don't like him (too unpredictable, not reliable enough and that I can't think of a decent replacement) leave Johnson in, just in case he has one of his "days" again.

It's too late to save the Ashes though, but perhaps it might give us a chance, against our next test match opponents.

I really thought we had a chance to win this series after the revival at Perth. I was sadly mistaken.

Christmas. It was quiet, mostly without everything I hate, and for the most time, greatly relaxing. I hardly did anything. It was good. The most energetic I got was a shuffle around Lake Haven shopping centre on Boxing Day (and, well, that was hardly worth it, though I did get myself a decent and cheap pair of sneakers). I got my feet wet in Lake Munmorah, had a toe pinched by a crab, played totem-tennis with my nephew, and watched a lot of Simpsons (sister has Foxtel, and it was the Xmas day marathon... ).

Got a bit done too. Finished reading Frankenstein, wrote a poem, jotted down four/five pages of notes for an RPG project that I'm working on and spent time with my sister and her boy. Not that I did much else. They were out Xmas eve and Xmas day (prior engagements) but still, it was good to see them again. I had planned originally to head back on Boxing Day for the Mariner's match against Adelaide, but decided instead to stick around for another day. (Besides, I can go, and will go, to the match against Melbourne Victory tomorrow.)

Yesterday, I got out of the house once again and hung around with another mate for a game, a chat, then a drive up to Tuggerah and a late lunch. It was a good day out, but a long one.

And on that note, I might just wind the post up there. I've got the final role-playing session for the year to attend to and I'm going to try and get another hour or two of sleep before going in.

But before going in, I might just move those trolleys out the front of my place...

Ciao!

P.S: Happy new year!

Probably the second last post for 2010

2010-12-21T11:48:00.004+11:00

Well, the year hasn't go much left to go, and again I am left wondering as to whether I finished ahead on the “balance sheet” of the year or not. On one hand, I went on a number of dates with four different women (even if some were just lunch and coffee dates), had a relationship that lasted two months, finally got a book published, was cleared of any bowel cancer (which is a big plus in itself), and, for the first time in years, went to two live music events. There was also the trip to see the Socceroos, the running of my first ever official Blood Bowl tournament (and an improved performance on the tournament circuit, finishing with an 8th at MOAB), the commencement of a Certificate 4 training course, a rare job interview and dropping roughly 14 kgs in weight (though I've put one or two kilos back on unfortunately).

On the other hand, most of the women I dated turned out to have far greater psychological problems than I have; the relationship, though initially good, ended up being more painful than not being in a relationship, and not just emotionally, financially as well; the book, it's promotion, and and to a lesser extent sales (again, initially good), were problematic to the point of driving me absolutely nuts; I'm still not in regular paid work (though I did have the election work and one or other two CIH jobs); BB local league turnout fluctuates from good to rather pathetic (though I have no control over that, it still irks me); I am still broke (as per usual) with a large credit card debt, acquired mostly due to the ex and a number of bills; still not sleeping properly (despite seeking treatment for it); I didn't get that job in Hornsby and trying to eat healthy is costing me quite a bit of what little funds that I do have.

All up, I'd say I was in front for the year again. Losing weight, having the book published, and an increased social calender (even if it's just mostly hanging out with the denizens of the games store and roleplaying more often) have tipped the scale. That, and the other main contributing factor, is that I'm healthy, alive and breathing and with some prospects for 2011, even though at times I have often felt that I really don't want to be here.

“It could always be worse.” I often tell myself. I could be in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or stuck in an airport in Europe waiting to go home for Xmas (seeing that continent is currently suffering from a vicious cold snap that has grounded a lot of air services and has turned soccer matches into snowy spectacles).

I am also reminded of the value of friends. Without them, old and new, I believe I would have gone totally bonkers this year. A recent example has been a visit from an old uni buddy, Rod, who came up last Tuesday (14th Dec) and we just hang around for a while. We had a trip out to Erina Fair (where I actually half-completed my Xmas shopping), then ventured into Gosford to have a couple of games of snooker (I lost both – the first on the last shot of the game, the second by a landslide), lunch at the buffet (which I hadn't done in a while) and a wander around town. We finished up back at East Gosford for a beverage at a cafe before he departed for home.

Currently, at this moment in time, I am listening to Cake (must get my hands on their new album), and waiting for the washing to finish, so that I can get it on the line relatively early (that and my neighbour hasn't got anything on it for once). I'm tired, not having slept well last night (tossed and turned like a salad in the hands of a master chef would be one way of putting it) and thinking perhaps I should've stayed up to watch the late movie on SBS rather than take over an hour to get to sleep. Perhaps I should've even read for a bit. My attempt to get through Shelley's Frankenstein has been quite labored of late. I keep forgetting to take it with me on the train up to Morisset and Tuggerah and haven't been inclined to read it at home, when I feel like a) doing nothing and b) immersing myself in some other project. The two recent projects have been a) finishing painting my chaos Blood Bowl team and b) compiling a comprehensive breakdown of matches in the ten BB leagues that I have run/co-run on the Central Coast, either through the Corsairs or Good Games. This one is rather challenging, seeing I'm going through each game, marking down coaches records as well as recording the win/draw/loss records of each race. The first part was relatively easy. The second part is very time consuming, but getting quicker the further I get into it. I must say it is turning up some unusual combinations of matches between races.

Okay, enough about me for the time being. I have been rather pleased of late of the recent revival of the Australian cricket team. After the non-event in Brisbane, and the disaster at Adelaide, the third test started like it was going to be an English series win, with the Australians bowled out for under 300 and the English opening partnership going solidly, and taking advantage of missed chances.

However, once again, I am reminded about the unpredictability of test cricket. After an hour or so I gave up watching the third test on day two, and went to my room to start on the current project. I was drawn back out by the fall of the first wicket, then the second, then by the disintegration of the English middle-order. To my surprise, and probably to a lot of other followers of the game, Australia end up with a first innings lead.

And even though the captain and vice-captain failed with the bat, along with the substitute opener Hughes, the runs came, with Mike Hussey in wonderful form, Shane Watson (disappointing though that he fell in the 90's again) and a contribution from new boy Smith, and England's task, that of knocking up 390-odd runs to win, though with over two days to achieve it, looked daunting.

And it was. Johnson destroyed the English first innings, Harris steps up and routs them in the second, the match ending forty-five minutes into day four. It is a comprehensive win, a much needed win morale wise, which keeps the series alive with just two tests to play.

Can Australia win the Ashes back? Yes, I feel they can now. What appeared to be a rather disappointing summer of cricket has been turned around in one hour of the morning of the second day of the third test, showing that once again, nothing can really beat the drama that is test cricket.

Of course, my other interest for the summer is soccer, and hopefully I'll get to the Mariner's home matches before and after Xmas and again on New Year's Eve. I had to miss the last one against Sydney (seeing I was doing assignment work for the Cert 4) and regretted it greatly seeing it was a rather crushing win, but look forward to clashes coming up against North Queensland, Adelaide and Melbourne. I saw what little of the highlights that was the Mariners vs Gold Coast match from Sunday (19th), played on a pitch that resembled a swamp (reminds me of games when I was a kid back in Tamworth). Once again I find myself questioning the decision for Adam Kwasnik to take the penalty shot at goal, when he's missed the last two that he has had. Yes, I know he has been scoring goals this season, and quite recently too, but surely we have a better penalty taker than him?

But, as it turns out, it didn't count anyway. I wonder when the match will be replayed?

Well, the washing has finally finished. I can now go hang it out. It took a bit longer than usual, seeing the machine doesn't like doing small loads. But at least it is done.

As for the rest of the day, see if I can finish this BB records project before heading out this afternoon to see friends, have a bite to eat, have a few drinks, play a few games and watch some DVDs.

As for the rest of the week, well, I decided that I'd head up to my sister's for Xmas day. At least I'll get away from the flat for a day or so.

Enjoy the festive period. Ciao!

P.S: I finally finished that game of Hearts of Iron 2. The Axis powers ruled supreme, with Germany having overrun most of Africa, and returning territories to Portugal, Spain and Italy that had been taken by the British, Americans and South Africans. I reloaded after the attempt to invade Canada was bogged down in a war of attrition that I wasn't winning or losing, and went for an easier option in taking out Africa.

And it was an easier option. I had to do it, seeing my allies had let me down miserably there, letting the yanks storm across it from Liberia. However, with a transfer of the units built up for the invasion of Canada (poor suckers, some were in Greenland beforehand!), nicking a few islands along the way, the Germans isolated, then wiped out some twenty divisions of US, British and South African troops, then just strolled through Africa, meeting very little resistance after the initial setbacks. Even invading South Africa was met with little more than token resistance from single divisions. Italy even obliged and broke through the Egyptian defences, and went on to take Iraq!

However, just to be annoying the yanks invaded Scotland. They took some shifting, but eventually, Eisenhower, with his naval support bombed to the bottom of the sea, became a prisoner of the Third Reich, along with six divisions of US troops.

I finished the game bombing India with my heavy bombers, attacking supplying convoys and fleets, and dropping ICBMs on a very stubborn Gibraltar, which had over 100 divisions camped there. It's a pity I hadn't developed nuclear weapons by the time the game ended in December 1947.

Might play Russia next. Been wanting to have them at war with the English - again.

Gees, fifteen days to Xmas?

2010-12-10T10:56:00.004+11:00

I really hate this time of the year. Seriously, I really do. To me, it is an annoying, wallet draining, debt creating, Hallmark endearing, totally depressing time of the year. The endless christmas carols about winter wonderlands and fantastic critters with red noses just really get on my nerves, but not as much as modern christmas tunes by the likes of Mariah Carey and such. Sheesh! Can't go anywhere during December without some dizzy starlet singing about sleigh rides and snowmen...

I haven't even done any xmas shopping either. I've been dead broke. Bills, lots of things on, rent and groceries. Trying to eat healthy costs a bit more than not trying to eat healthy as I've discovered. Still, I try to maintain the diet and weight.

And there has been so many things on lately. An engagement party of one of my aunt's kids (the aunt in Sydney that is), lunch trips with mates, assignment work for the Cert 4 course, class work for the Cert 4, games tournaments, role-playing sessions, gaming sessions, the obligatory days at Morisset, my compulsory job search days, Mariners' matches (although I missed the last home game because I was doing assignment work)... When I get a day to myself at home, which is very rare, I just find myself veging out on the couch watching Rome or Shameless, or whiling away the hours with a big game of Hearts of Iron 2. I have even tried to get back into painting, aiming to finish off another team before xmas. (I get on top of them somehow. This team I won at MOAB in October, which is a pretty quick turn-around for me.) But then the home duties have been mostly neglected. I managed to get laundry done for the first time in two weeks or so, mostly because I haven't been home, the weather has been lousy, and my neighbour has been hogging the line.

I am convinced that she a) has a complusive disorder to do laundry, seeing she does it pretty much every day that I'm at home (on one occasion, she had stuff on the line during one of the rainy days with an umbrella covering them... ), b) could talk for Australia, c) could bore for Australia, d) could be annoying for Australia, e) has a serious drinking problem. Lately she's been sitting out on the patio with a friend or two talking away so loudly, that I have to turn the volume right up on the telly to drown her out. And it is usually about crap, then she gets really fired up about something and goes off her dial, then tones down as if nothing has happened.

Last night though, I did meet the girl who moved into number three. Been there at least a month and this is the first time she has spoken to me. Ellen seems nice enough, which is why I'm wondering she's hanging out with the old chook next door. (Boredom perhaps?)

I have also been rung a couple of times for references recently. One from a real estate agent wanting a few words on a mate who was applying for a property rental (and it must have worked, for he got it), and the second time for a mate who is applying to get a Japanese exchange student at his place. The real estate one was good, for this means that I may well be in paid employment next month. The business will be in East Gosford, barely a hundred metres from my flat. I can't say too much more about it than I already have, but needless to say, it is looking more promising than other attempts at finding paid work. Hornsby wasn't a goer - I got the letter on Wednesday. Again the key word is "experience". I wasn't too upset by the rejection, seeing I didn't get a good vibe from the interview. (You can just tell if you felt you nailed it or not, and I honestly felt I didn't nail that interview.)

But there's the upcoming election. I have already registered my intent to work for the state election in March next year. The money is too good to ignore. That, and it will complete the trifecta of local, state and federal for me. I hope I get the booth just around from my place again.

So, what's coming up? Next Tuesday, a visit from an old uni mate. It will be a trip to the club, some snooker and some lunch. This weekend though, I have nothing on for a change, so I intend to just chill out at home. (Well, can't exactly chill out in this heat... ) I really want to finish off this game of Hearts of Iron 2, seeing I've been playing it off and on for a week or so now. I took Germany this time round, and started down the same path Adolf took, reclaiming the industrial areas, joining up with Austria and seizing Czechoslovakia. The latter was good, seeing I gave Hungary some of the territory and they joined me in an alliance. Next to ally with me, was Spain. Then WW2 broke out, and after knocking off Poland, I took the tried and tested route down through Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg and down through France. Britain and France though had invaded Spain, so the drive went all the way down to Gibraltar, where, for five years there has been a stalemate. For my air force, it means a lot of bombing raids on shipping, installations, etc. in the area, and for my army, making sure that the Brits don't get the idea of starting something there again. (I can't trust the Spanish units, seeing that they're mostly militia.) At last count, there was something like 75 divisions in Gibraltar, plus another ten of air units. The allied forces only attack when I move units out of Seville, but it gets repulsed, despite the two-to-one advantage the allies generally have in the attack. (Interdiction - their units just don't get supplies.)

Italy joined me after the invasion was complete. By that time, I was preparing my invasion of Britain, which was almost too easy. There was a naval hitch though, with my grand fleet being pounded by the allied combined fleet. Once Britain was over-run, I started to drum up support in other places. Romania and Bulgaria wouldn't join, but Finland and Argentina did. Then I bumped off Denmark, Sweden and Norway, and, for the hell of it, took Switzerland as well. By now the Japanese were on board (seeing we were both at war with the USA) and Portugal even joined in the fun. These two nations took care of the Dutch interests in the Pacific, whilst Spain and Italy went through Africa.

Yugoslavia then allied in 1944, allowing me to crash through Greece, and giving my air force more shipping and land targets. By this time, my research had giving me V1 and V2 missiles, and I'm well on the path to nuclear weapons. I got rid of an annoying US base in Iceland, then jumped on Greenland, and finally, where I am battling away now, in Canada. This will take time, seeing the infrastructure there is, well, rather poor, and I can't get in enough air support. I have lost transport ships, my only carrier, and a battleship as well ferrying enough troop there, but I have taken a province. I really do need though to open up a second front there and take a province with a built up port and airbase. Thankfully, I have more troops on the way.

And Russia? Still staring at me across the border late in 1945. I wasn't going to attack them. There's no point. Besides. America is a far better target, and they're next once I'm established in Canada.

Right. It's just after midday. Better wind this up and head back into the office. Ciao!

Fuming

2010-11-20T19:28:00.003+11:00

A few weeks ago, after I broke up with Suzette, I was offered the opportunity from a woman I knew on Facebook to go see a couple of shows. One of them was Lior, the other was Jeff Martin.

I attended the Lior show with her. It wasn't a bad night, albeit quite an expensive one for me. As we were walking back to Central station, imagine my surprise when I was told that she was planning on taking somebody else to see Jeff Martin. (Out of the two, I should add, I would've preferred to see Jeff Martin, seeing he was the front man for The Tea Party. Lior I never even heard of before a couple of months ago.)

On Thursday this week, I get a series of SMS asking if I would like to go to the Jeff Martin show, seeing, obviously, the person she was planning on taking not being able to go. I said yes, and make arrangements as to where to meet her. I also inform her that I can't really afford to go, but I am informed that I can pay her back later.

At around 5pm Friday afternoon, as I am standing at the traffic lights near the Imperial Centre on a rather miserable afternoon, I get a message from said date, who informs me that she is in too much pain, after having a biopsy during the day, and will not be going to the show. I thank her for letting me know early enough, and go to Woollies to purchase food to the equivalent of train fare I would have spent going to Sydney for the show.

I had a good night at home. Lasagne, drink, Shameless, then I watch the revamped Appleseed movie. I went to bed around 11pm, and managed close to eight hours sleep.

I am in a good mood today, well, was in a good mood. I managed to get a detailed post up on my other blog about a tournament I went to last month, plus other things I had been up to gaming wise. I watched a rather entertaining women's football match on the ABC, then a repeat of Mythbusters on SBS. Tomorrow, I intend to go to the Mariner's match.

Imagine my surprise, when I log on today, that I see a couple of postings from a certain someone who was in too much pain to attend the show last night. She had gone to the show, had taken a friend, and had taken pics, posting them all over her page.

Now, imagine how I feel about all this???

And this someone wonders why I removed all my profiles from dating sites, adult and normal.

I wonder why I put them on in the first place.

Zzzzzzz....

2010-11-19T10:44:00.013+11:00

Yeah, it's that sort of day again. A day that I wish I was in bed back at home. It is utterly miserable, and to be honest, it doesn't look like it's going to improve at all.

And it's been a week-and-a-half, and there are still things to come. There's an offer to go see Jeff Martin in Sydney tonight at The Basement, then there's a Malifaux tournament on at the games shop in Gosford on Sunday, along with the first Mariners' home match for nearly two months at the Grahame Park. (Yes, I know it's Bluetongue Stadium for sponsorship purposes, but the sandstone block out the front still bears it's original name.)

With the miserable weather, I feel less inclined to go to Sydney tonight, especially seeing I did not sleep well again this morning (I'm tired already and it's not even 11am), but seeing a ticket was on offer, and, well, it's better than sitting at home I suppose. Though I haven't heard any of this gent's solo material, I do love The Tea Party (his previous band) so that pretty much sways it. Besides, a date is a date, and, well I did say I'd take the ticket if she couldn't find anyone else to go.

My decision about playing in the Malifaux tournament though sways like a pendulum. Yesterday, after winning a game, I was more inclined to play in it. Today, after thinking about it, and reviewing yesterday's game (that took about four hours to play) I feel less inclined to play in it. I like the concept of the game (that it being card based rather than dice based), I like the world it is set in, I even like the miniatures but game-play I find it annoying, more so seeing you are not just having to remember what your "crew' can do, but what your opponent's crew can do as well, and that's on top of the game mechanics as well. I just get to grips with the original collection of available faction material, and the rules, and a new rules set is launched with yet more material to have to be familiar with. (Which is why I like Blood Bowl. The basic game hasn't really changed since 1994. Sure, one or two things have over the years, but game wise it is still the same game I received the box-set of for my 25th birthday. Malifaux has only been out a year or so and already we're into the second edition of rule-sets.)

The other two factors persuading me not to play in the tournament are a) funds, and b) the Mariners' home match on Sunday afternoon. Despite the weather, I still want to go to it, especially seeing the team is in good form currently, and has not only been winning matches, but scoring goals as well (eleven in the last four games from memory). I can't really afford to do both. But then, I can't really afford to go see Jeff Martin either. That one is going to have to be "put on credit" as well. (At least I told my date that.)

Man, it is starting to pour down again. I don't mind being indoors on days like this, but the library is in a shed, and on days like today it is quite cold out here, seeing the door has to stay open. (It's not as if I have a litle indoor office with an "open" sign.) There has been one client this morning - an overdue return of toys, but two items that are fairly popular, which is good. At least I am somewhat entertained by the wildlife outside. The little feathered critters are quite pleasant to watch.

As for more frequent paid work prospects, well, it has taken a turn for the better. Last Wednesday (Nov 17th), I had the interview with Hornsby Shire Council, and, well, it went okay. Not brilliant, but okay. There were questions I felt I didn't answer well enough, but there were answers I gave that I felt were quite adequate. It was a panel interview (a bit unnerving at the best of times) and I was very early. About forty minutes early, having over estimated the time to take walking to the premises from the station. The one thing I will not forget about the interview, was that one of the interviewers was cross-eyed. It was a bit hard trying to maintain eye-contact with her!

However, when I returned back to Gosford, I got a phone call from a friend of mine who has been planning to open up what he calls as "popular culture" shop. He got the approval for the premises in East Gosford called Dark Dimensions. He's already "interviewed" me for the job. I can work for him. The question is, will it be reliable work, and will it be paid enough to cease my dependency on benefits?

The Hornsby job though offers more money than I know what to do with. In one week, I would be earning four figures, not including decimal points, per week. The question is, would I be comfortable working there? Do I really want to work there? A job, so close to home that I can see the building from my front door, is a fantastic prospect. However, a library job, something that I have been pursuing for so long, without much success, is also a fantastic prospect.

It's not just about the money. I don't really like money but gees, it's bloody hard to get by without it. I have always been happy with just getting enough to survive, to cover rent, bills and food, put clothes on my back and give me a little bit extra to have some fun with. I am not essentially a greedy person, but then, if I do the work, I want to get paid what I am due.

But I have always had problems with too much money in the past. I have a tendency to waste it, and not end up with much to show for it. This time round though I'm a lot wiser, but, then, there have been times that I have given in to little excesses, as my credit card debt can attest to.

Paid work though is paid work. It's nice to have all this spare time, but I take it for granted nowadays - it's become too much of a lifestyle.

Philosophical thoughts aside, I must comment about these idiots I observed on Wednesday afternoon. The first was on the bus going home. This "gentleman", I use the term loosely here (yes, he was male, but didn't appear much of a male), clad in the obligatory Nike imitation tracksuit, with baseball cap, tattoo with a girl's name on his neck, boards the bus with his two daughters. (Alarm bells were ringing at the moment. The gent looked and sounded like he had been sucking on a bong since he was old enough to say "give me a hit".) The bus driver charges him $3.20 for the two girls to go to Erina Fair, who, I should say, were of a primary school age, and not in uniform (they didn't appear sick either). He immediately complains: "That's a $1.20 too much. It's only a dollar from Wyoming." The bus driver responds: "I don't set the fares." The gent gets on, but whines for the first leg of the trip in that disgusting, drug and alcohol f----d drawl. I say, just loud enough for him to hear (but obviously he didn't): "Wyoming to Gosford is two sections. Gosford to Erina Fair is five. Two sections is a dollar, five is a $1.60 you idiot. Can't you read the sign?" I feel sorry for the two girls. Fancy having him for a father.

The second incident occurred just after I had gotten home. I watch two school kids with scooters climb the stairwell to the overhead pass at East Gosford. One breaks a bottle on the stairs, then thinks it's fun to throw the broken glass at his mate. The eyes roll back into my head and I walk away and log onto Facebook.

Sigh. It's time to close the library. Too cold out here, and I want some lunch. Ciao!

P.S: One couple returning stuff in two hours. Fifteen minutes after I close up and return to admin, a client shows up wanting to reserve items. Forty-five minutes later I get back to admin after two more clients show up as I'm attending to the first one, and I have taken nearly $60 in toy hire and memberships. Gees.

P.P.S: (7.44pm) The show's off. Got an SMS on the way home that said she wasn't feeling at all well, and she couldn't go. So, I head to the supermarket, spend the equivalent train fare on groceries, then come home and watch some Shameless whilst cooking, then eating a rather nice lasagne. Mmmmmmm...

It's all happening...

2010-11-12T15:05:00.003+11:00

Absolutely amazing.

All these applications, and all these "if you don't hear from us, then you've been unsuccessful" e-mails. Then all of a sudden, I get an interview with Hornsby Shire Council, for a position I didn't really think I was actually qualified for, and honestly, out of four applications I sent to Hornsby, this was probably the worst out of the four. It was more rushed, and I really, by that time, was only cutting and pasting from other applications and adding answers on the fly. Obviously something I said worked. Wish I knew what it was.

I must've sent in at least 20 applications to Hornsby since I finished my degree. Nothing. Why now?

I think I'll shut up, least I jinx myself any further. As it turns out, I have plenty more things to do. Monday I will need to keep up my "requirements" by visiting my job network member. At least I have already enquired about the possibility for transport funds for the interview. I also have to prepare an application for the Community Centre Co-Ordinator position which is due on the 19th. Then there's the Cert 4 course on Tuesday that I have homework for (a bit of reading) followed by a gaming session at a mate's place Tuesday evening. (So best not make it too late... ) Then I've got to do some work on a fresh idea that was started last Tuesday evening for a gaming system before I lose the momentum on it. (That's me, write until I lose interest in it... )

I had hoped for a quiet weekend at home, but fat chance of that happening. Today, I'm at the centre, and it was quiet for a time, then everything just popped up at once. A lot of printing (for me, including research for this idea that I have and the upcoming job applications), only one client at the library, and it is quite warm. When I get back to Gosford, I have shopping to do. At least I got paid today.

Which reminds me, I need a new pair of sneakers. Ciao!

Just so over it

2010-11-07T19:55:00.002+11:00

To be honest, I am totally over it. Dating and online dating that is.

I went on a date last night, and, I must say, it was good, despite the ever present threat of rain. (It didn't rain that much - more annoying than anything.) She arrived on time at our rendezvous point at Central Station, then we proceeded, in a leisurely fashion, into the Sydney CBD. Along the way to Darling Harbor we printed up tickets for last night's show (Lior at The Metro) and had a drink at Scruffy Murphy's, which was already well occupied with Poms ready for the upcoming Ashes series.

Must say I was pleased with the stroll around DH down near the Maritime Museum. There were three naval vessels on the display - HMAS Vampire a destroyer, HMAS Onslow, an Oberon class submarine, and a small patrol boat that I can't recall the name of. A mighty impressive replica of the Endeavour was also on display.

Enough about boats. The stroll then wound it's way back (eventually) into China Town, where we enjoyed a meal at one of the stroll in restaurants. (Another, we noticed, was having great difficulty attracting customers yet the one we were at was filled to bursting.)

Then it was off to the show. Lior, I must say, is quite impressive live. I only knew material from his first album, but the gent is seriously talented, and should have a long career in front of him. He had two support acts on the night, which, well, I must say didn't do much for me, though one act, Gosling, was a duo that performed with just a keyboard and a cello. (It was the squeaky girly voice that put me off them. Something about singing songs about sad things in that kind of voice just didn't sound right.)

It was an intimate setting. Standing room only, unless you were a member, then you were provided seats on the balcony. It was good to get up close and personal with the artist, and my date quite enjoyed the show. So did I, and must track down and acquire his two other studio albums, and the live one as well. His special guest Katie Noonan dropping in for a song just topped off the show nicely and he finished with a bang with "Soldier".

Then came the long train ride home. I arrived at home around 2.10am. Very tired, but couldn't get to sleep until after 3. Today, it was just veging on the couch watching DVDs, playing computer games, surfing the net, sleeping, or eating. The third ODI between Australia and Sri Lanka was a fizzer, with the game well and truly decided before I could even get interested in it.

There was one amusing incident. My date decided that she needed a new pair of shoes because her other ones were too uncomfortable. So she found a pair, and got me to carry her other ones around in my bag for the evening. When we parted company at the station around 11.30pm (so that she could catch a train back to Campbelltown), she rang me, realizing that I still had them. There was a brief exchange, and we parted ways again.

So, what did last night tell me? It told me, I can't really afford to go out on dates, especially with a woman who wants to do drinks, dinner and a show. All up, the night cost me $124, including train fare down to Sydney and back. Though I only left home with $40 in my wallet, I came back with $34, and had taken a hundred out before dinner.

Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoyed it. It was good to chat freely with someone, and actually try a couple of new Chinese dishes (well, new for me) and the show was well worth it. But, considering my current economic status, that money could've been better spent on the credit card debt. Sure, I wouldn't have had the date, but then, the card would've had a nice chunk taken off it, allowing me to use it again. Besides, it's not as if I'd be going out with this woman, she currently has a number of beaus - not that I was expecting anything to happen anyway. The peck on the cheek good night, strangely enough, was more than I was expecting.

But I couldn't do that every week, nor can I do that every fortnight. I had to scrimp and save, and deny myself other things, like trips to the movies, or groceries, even blank DVDs. In my situation, dating, like that, will send me broke very quickly. I'm more of a coffee shop sort of person, even a pub lunch and drink sort of person or a movies person. Dinner and shows would only suit me if I had the income to match, and, well, I don't.

As for online dating, well, I've had enough of it. I've tried three sites (non adult ones) and, well, for the ONE solid contact that I have had (who has since added me to her Facebook page) I have had well over 30 knock-backs, including those that didn't even bother to reply. It is equally annoying when, after you read their profiles, and seeing that you and her match, that you get a message back "You're not my type" or "I'm too busy right now". And then when I do show some interest in talking to you, you use the messenger, and they just don't respond, for whatever reason.

So, today, after some thinking about it, I messaged the ones that did show some interest, gave them some contact details on the off chance they do want to contact me and deleted my profiles from the sites. (Well, from past experience, they're still there, just not "active".) It seems that the poetical profiles just really didn't work. Come to think of it, neither did the short and straightforward one, the honest one, the detailed one...

If she's out there, well, I wouldn't know where to find her, and at the moment, I can't be bothered looking. I am tired of all this rejection. Bad enough being knocked back for jobs that you're qualified for - being knocked back for dates, well, it has gotten too much to bear.

So, best to remove the adverts, and concentrate on myself. If she turns up, she'll turn up. But I'm not wasting the effort.

Now if I can stop using Facebook everyday as well...

Ciao!

The type of day you could curl up with a good book

2010-11-05T10:46:00.006+11:00

This isn't spring.

Gees, currently it isn't even autumn. Back to winter within a few hours. And here's me, stuck out in the library with no more than the clothes that I'm wearing to protect me from the cold.

I think I'll have a banana. Sure, it won't protect me from the cold, but at least that's one less serve of fruit I don't have to worry about eating today.

So, what's new? Yesterday I attended the induction session of yet another certificate course. This time, a Certificate 4 in Training & Assessment, run by the well-established peoples at Benchmark College. It's one day a week (Tuesday), paid for by the agency, and it's at Tuggerah. The "campus" is a little walk from the station, the only significant delay is in getting across the busy Wyong Road to the business park. The map I viewed was quite deceptive. I was expecting a longer walk, and for the place to be harder to find. Turns out it was a relatively easy to find, and the walk wasn't too bad. Even had time to check out the now mostly deserted Supa Centre. (Deserted as in devoid of customers, and quite a few shops, though Bunnings and Spotlight seem to be doing okay.)

So, what else is happening? Tomorrow, a date in Sydney. Another show, another Australian performer - Lior. This time though it will be with a companion (unlike the last show that I went to). We have planned to have dinner before hand in China Town, have a drink, a bit of a walk, a talk, and, of course, a show.

Do I expect anything else? Nope. Not at all. Previous experience has taught me never to expect too much from these events - especially when I was going out with Suzette. I was invited to a show, a meal, drinks and a chat, and that's all I'm expecting.

During the week though I did go through and delete my profiles from all the adult dating sites that I had mistakingly paid to join. Complete waste of time and money. During my time with one site, I had received e-mails (and reported) six scammers on the site, mostly because they sent me pretty much the same rubbish e-mail! I've kept the grammar in this one as exactly as it was sent to me.

"Here is little about me,I am ------, college educated and a graduate in ...Accounting and into buying and selling of art works ....Am originally from UK and i have lived in Australia , for a year now and it is a lovely place ..I find very much peace and tranquility there...I`m mentally stable, physically fit, a bunch of laughs, warm, caring, honest, good listening, God Fearing, and a positive person.I am real easy person to talk to and a good listener. I love to play golf and I enjoy chillin` with my friend/family , I like going to the movies or watching movies in my room , I like swiming , fishing, listening to music and dance, traveling , going bowling and etc.I am a family oriented person and I get along with everyone in my family and outside my family, and There is more, but it would be better for you to find some things out for yourself.

I am really interested in wanting to know about what makes you the special person you are today, I want to know more about your family, your background, your life experiences, past relationships, your goals and dreams and your interests."

That, and they really don't keep track of their profiles too well or do their homework. One "woman" who contacted me, stated that she was from Hobart in Tasmania. Then, the first e-mail I get and she is in New South Wales. It becomes apparent that they pick cities at random. One even chose a random street in the Sydney CBD that she "lives" on. One problem, the street she chose, as far as I know, doesn't have any residental dwellings on it. I quizzed this one, suggesting places that we could meet up. Didn't respond to any suggestion, did not set a time, did not even say "yes, I will meet you (insert location here)".

The pictures too, can give the fake ones away. The above example was photographed holding a block of chocolate of a brand that currently isn't available in Australia. (A quick google search told me that.) Another profile was using pictures of a porn model - a common occurrence I have read about in dating scam forums. (Don't ask me how I knew that they were pics of a porn model. I just knew, okay?)

Then there was the "date hook-up" person that propositioned me online on MSN. An American lass, currently on "tour" in Australia. She even gave me the name of the hotel she was staying at in Sydney! I bailed out of that one pretty quickly.

Of course, like the free dating sites, I was getting a number of rejections as well. Whilst the poetical profiles have worked to a degree on two free sites, they didn't attract any legitimate interest on the adult ones.

Finally, there's the advertising methods. They will plaster sites with offers of meeting hot babes in your locale, or nearby. A quick profile search when you log into that site, will reveal that the profile is of a woman on the site, but somewhere far, far away, like the United States. On one site, there were even a lot of fake profiles, run by admin staff, to make it look like there were plenty of women on the sites. These fakes would even contact you, get you to add them to your friends or buddies page, or send you invites to their private gallaries. I closed down my account on two of these sites, and I am still getting dozens of e-mails telling me of ladies that want me to add them to my buddy list, or view their profiles, or send me e-mails...

The morale of the story is, if you have to try internet dating, use the free ones. At least then you are not wasting money, just time.

Okay, that very nicely killed half-an-hour. Almost at the time where I can be packing up. At least the rain ahs stopped and it has gotten a little warmer. Ciao!