First attendance at the support group

You really have to like when one of your favourite "luxuries" is on special at your local supermarket. I'm talking about white Tim Tams. I find them so irresistible at times that I could quite calmly go through a pack in one evening. Needed some bread for sandwiches tomorrow, passed through the biscuit isle and saw the ridiculous price, and thought "Sold!". I would've brought more had it not been the end of the fortnight and I barely have enough to get to and from Morisset tomorrow.

I've earned my treat. I got the laundry done (thanks to a mate's grandparents) on Monday, had it all dried on Tuesday, and then just lolled around on Wednesday, without much desire to do anything more than just watch a DVD or type up some stuff for a project that I've been working on and off for a few weeks now. It has been cold, and once again I find myself awake at odd times again during the night. Breakfast, I find, is usually now around 5am. This morning, to break the routine, it was around 9am, seeing I got up to watch the Matildas play Norway in the women's world cup in Germany - a task made more worthwhile because the Aussie ladies won and went through to the quarter-finals.

But every day this week, I have crashed after lunch, napping on the couch for at least two hours. It has been cold, so, seeing I don't have a heater, I wrap myself up in a blanket. Thing is, I get cozy, warm, and just nod off. The good thing is, I haven't had much problem going to bed afterwards. It's mainly just trying to stay asleep for more than four hours at a time.

But this week hasn't been a total loss. Today I took the step of attending a mental health support group in Gosford. It's run by the Schizophrenia Fellowship, and it's for all mental health problems, not just for Schizophrenia. It's also for both carers and "consumers", which is a nice way of describing oneself. It wasn't one of these support groups where I had to introduce myself, and say why I was here, and talk about my problems. It was structured like a formal meeting (with minutes of the previous meeting), with a guest speaker (today's one spoke a lot about anxiety disorders, which is something I'm quite "familiar" with), and time for a cuppa in the middle of the meeting. I did have a chat to another gent there, and realized that I wasn't the only one with these problems, though some it seemed had it worser than me. My problem is that I have a lot of these problems - going through the list of anxiety disorders I found myself ticking most of them off. It isn't just one thing - it's several.

Would I go back again? Of course. I need to expand my social circles, even if it is just a once a month meeting for people in the same boat as me. They do organize social outings, though unfortunately, the one planned for next month will be on a day I'll be playing soccer. Grrr.

Which links it nicely to recent efforts on the pitch. We had two games over the weekend, strangely enough against the same team! Saturday's game was our Round 12 match, and Sunday's game was our rescheduled Round 3 match. We were beaten on both occasions. On Saturday, with me in goals, we lost 1-6. On Sunday, with me making a guest appearance on the left wing (got the times stuffed up, and we arrived just in time for the second half). We lost 1-3.

I was able to handle yet another thrashing. With the possible exception of the fourth goal, there really wasn't much I could do about them. Goal one came from an early one-on-one challenge, which had just slipped through the defence. (I can proudly say that was the only one-on-one challenge that succeeded - I stopped the other four, mostly by timing my run to when the oncoming player had made a long touch, allowing me time to race forward, and dive on the ball.) Number two was another defensive lapse, with a shot from a fair distance (the player should've been shut up), screaming past my lunge on the right hand side. Goal three was our first own goal of the season - coincidentally scored off the back of the gent who transports me to each game! (I though it was going out, but the deflection squeezed past me, even though I was almost on the right hand post.)

So, three down at the break, and once again I found myself not having touched the ball until after the first two had gone in. (Third time this year that this has happened.) I recall that my first stop was a powerful drive low to the left, the second I tipped over the bar, then I think came a couple of one-on-ones. I know by half-time, I had already thwarted six attempts on goal.

And it was six more in the second half. My busiest game all season. Eighteen chances our opponents had, and they got six of them. The only way I can look at the games now is by how many DON'T go in. My season tally of stops is now at 62. The fourth goal was almost 63, as I got both hands to it but it was hit too hard for me to stop. We actually got one back at this stage, and were looking reasonably good. Goal five pretty much snuffed out any comeback, and it was a hard drive low to my right, which I couldn't do anything about, though I did get a hand to it, but not enough to stop it. The final one, not long before the full-time whistle, came from a throw-in, where the ball was played to a gent just inside the box. It was a deft shot high to my right, which I leapt and got a hand to, but it went in instead of over and I was left in a pile in the back of the net.

Sunday's match was an improvement. A different keeper in goals, and learning that the position really is a thankless task. When we arrived, the second half was just underway, and it was 1 all. (The opponent's opener apparently was a nutmeg - through the keeper.) Despite the team's best efforts, the opposition got another two and took the game. I couldn't do much in the match, but I did start a scoring chance with a nice little chip over the defence to one of our strikers. It was strange, but good to be actually in the penalty area for a change trying to put one past my opposite number! At least I can say that I have played in every game except Round 7, the only one I have missed this season.

With the rain cancellations, more catch-up weekends will be needed. Another extra game could be scheduled for either July 31st or August 7th. If the latter is the case, then I will not be going to the big Eucalyptus Blood Bowl tournament at all, seeing it's on that weekend. If it isn't, well, I could probably go for day two, not that I really like playing just one day of a tourney.

So, where am I currently? After all the shite of having to get multiple certificates done for Centrelink, in order to get a Job Capacity Assessment, I am still yet to hear from them as to when that will be. The C/Link worker I spoke to at Woy Woy two weeks ago still hasn't called me back, and if she doesn't tomorrow, well then I'll make a note to ask whomever I'm seeing on Monday (yeah, another scheduled appointment) as to when this is happening, seeing I have already gotten a notice from the Salvos that I'll be back in their caring arms on the 18th, four days after my initial exemption has been completed. (Not if I can help it though...)

It's annoying. I have submitted a medical certificate for a further three months, I have submitted a letter from my psychologist thoroughly recommending that I am removed from the current job network system and referred to the disability services. I am waiting on an appointment with a psychiatrist so that my major disorder can be diagnosed, and my psychologist is waiting for that appointment so that she can start assisting me with it, seeing it will take a lot of work.

As it turns out, my first block of six appointments finish next Thursday (14th). She thinks I've made progress. I feel we really have only dealt with just a fraction of my issues. Sure, one of my "habits" has been dealt with, but there are still others to come to grips with. It's sad though, that someone like myself who badly needs psychological assistance can't get enough of it due to the restrictions placed on welfare recipients getting Medicare supported shrink sessions. I'm only entitled to twelve - six fifty minute ones, and six thirty minute ones.

Oh well, one day at a time. That's all I can do.

Finally, was buoyed by two things recently. One, the Mariners managed to beat international visitors Glasgow Celtic 1-0 last Saturday (2nd) in Sydney. The crowd wasn't far off twenty thousand, and from all accounts it was an entertaining game, with a new recruit coming off the bench to score the winner with three minutes left in the match. Also further good news for one of our up-and-coming stars, Amini, signing with German club Borussia-Dortmund, yet still being allowed to play for the Mariners this season. That's a pretty nice deal!

And the second was that the Raiders managed to thrash the Roosters on Monday night, beating them 38-12. The team, it would appear, have turned their season around, and are climbing out of the cellar. Let's hope it continues!

Ciao!

P.S: I forgot to mention that last Friday (1st), I completed my Mental Health First Aid certificate at the community centre. Yet one more thing that I can add to my resume!